Work woes

[Jayar]

Been working on a crazy project since February, and it will finish up Phase I in December. Phase II begins in January, and Phase III on the tail of II. Since the beginning of the fiscal year, I have been working an average of 20+ hours of overtime. I am salaried. My workload has increased, responsibilities have ballooned, and the stress is out of this work and causing health issues. I've started therapy to try to help figure this out, and it is helping me to add clarity to my life. The problem-- 3 weeks ago after working 70 hours for 2 weeks in a row, my boss calls me in for a meeting. A colleague (there are two of us at the same level) is being promoted (she does the other half of the project), and she will be my new boss. I ask a lot of questions because although we are good friends, I do not think that she will be a good match for me. Additionally, I am the only permanent employee reporting to her, and there are four others at my level (and one junior) who still report to the Director (my former boss). So, even though I have not been demoted in salary or title, I am pushed down the rung one step. When I discussed the promotion with my boss, I asked if there was going to be a replacement hire to backfill my new boss's position. The answer was a resounding no, and that not much would change except that new boss would take charge of the program level pieces (I am at the project level). What that means is that she will no longer have Project Management responsibilities, and that will fall to me. And I already work way too much overtime. Also, decisions about how to project will work are going to be wholly decided by new boss when before I had a voice. It was made clear that those are her decisions to make. So, I said that I didn't see how I would be able to continue given the current climate of the position and the promise of even more work. Note-- I have been asking for help, providing a business case, and proving out the need. Each time we hire a contractor, I find them, train them, and then they move to the other half (new boss's side) of the project. In late August, I finally got help and I was to get a second person, but because of logistics, I couldn't get them to start until early September when I was in full swing with multiple aspects of the projects crashing. During this time is when old boss announces the new boss promotion. Quite honestly, I was completely demoralized at that point anyway, and this just sealed it. I went home, thought about it, and then organized a meeting with old and new boss, telling them that I either (1) Need more money, (2) Want to reduce my hours, or (3) Have another person come on board to help me. Walked away very upset while the rest of the office was at our annual summer picnic. With nobody else in the office, I had an emotional reaction (tears), and a colleague that I have known and loved for 16 years comes back to pick something up and sees me upset. After pushing her off for a bit, I finally confess that I am overwhelmed by my workload, am exhausted, and I think that I just quit my job. She comforts me, goes to picnic, and tells the office gossip. Next day I am out of the office for a scheduled day off, and apparently all hell breaks loose. Apparently I told everybody about me quitting, and I caused an office culture problem. When I come back to the office, I am told that (1) No more money because if they give in to me, others will follow, (2) That overtime will continue and it is expected that I continue, and (3) That they are hiring another person to come on board (contract) to help new boss. None of these things help me, but I trudge on, and I work nearly 60 hours over 4 days. Last week, Senior VP flies in from Chicago to see what is going on, has a long meeting with me, and tries to blame me for being disruptive. I explain that I can live with my actions, and I explain to him the reality of what actually happened. He decides that I am 'committed' to my work, apologizes that I have had problems handling the stress, and lets me know that I made my old boss feel like a failure. Anyway, I endure for another week, am training three new people (1 for new boss), and am still struggling with my workload. So today I create a spreadsheet with all of the overtime that I've worked this fiscal year, show how that decreases my per hour rate, calculate the additional costs of working so many hours (ordering in since I work most nights until 10 or 11, medication for stress, therapy, commuter costs since I used to carpool),and I give it to old boss. I also ask for a midyear review since I will be getting a new boss and want my performance documented before the transition. I walked away, and immediately heard my colleagues congratulating my new boss. My timing stinks-- the announcement came out as I was walking to my boss's office. Anyway, I'm overweight, out of shape, stressed out, have no personal life, and probably won't have a job much longer. What is a boy to do? (Besides use paragraph breaks... sorry about that.) Any advice?

Late note-- Two years ago I received the highest rating in our entire organization in my annual review. I've always received high ratings. Now I am 'difficult'. Culture or personal issue?

 

[Spun Silver]

What misery! I think you should find a new job, change careers, whatever it takes, before this kills you. There has to be a better way.

I think also you probably do have more power than you think to work a bit less. Maybe indefinitely, but at least while you are looking for another job.

I have been there. The only one who ever changed it was myself. No one ever said, poor X, you are working so hard, you need some help! I had to make the case that I needed help, raise the money for it, hire and train the staff, and ultimately decide that I was burned out and had to quit. My bosses were always happy to exploit me... wih my full cooperation.

I feel for you. Good luck. You have to take care of yourself - physically and emotionally as well as financially.

 

[Japanfan]

All I have to say is that the situation sounds impossible and unendurable. I got exhausted just reading your post.

Is looking for work with better/more reasonable conditions an option?

 

[Aussie Willy]

Sorry to hear you are going through that. Sometimes the only action is to move on. Horrible when you are stressed out but if they are not going to change then you will probably need to do it yourself. Being miserable in a job is just not worth it, particularly if you are not going to be rewarded for it.

 

[Vash01]

(((Jayar))) So sorry you have to go through this. I have either heard of or experienced similar situations, so you are not alone. One of my friends who works for another agency kept telling me that her group shrank to less than half over just a couple years and she has to do the job of 3 persons. In one of my past jobs, the expectation was that if you are not working at least 60 hours a week, you are not working at all. Companies like Intel expect their exempt employees to work 80 hours a week. I don't think I could ever do that.

As a salaried person we don't get OT pay. It also sounds like you may be caught in company politics. In that case, the situation is not going to improve. If you are really unhappy and have no time to take care of yourself, no job is worth it. JMO. May be it's time to look for a better work situation? If nothing else, you will be starting with a clean slate and perhaps a refreshing environment.

 

[misskarne]

I hate to be that person, but...is any of this actually legal? Not paying for overtime? Working 60 hours in four days?! Refusing to correct an unworkable situation because some other person said you'd threatened to quit?

Did you take the bitch who spread the lies to HR? Her ass should have been chewed for that.

You made old boss feel like a failure? GOOD. HE IS ONE.

Since I appear to be firmly in immature mode I'll stop giving bad advice now.

 

[Aceon6]

@Jayar IME, that seems to be the way things go with programs with nearly impossible goals, budgets and deadlines. The person who paints the most optimistic view gets promoted while the realists get extra work or get pushed out. You can't win here. Time to move on. Be professional as you exit, but don't martyr yourself.

 

[clairecloutier]

@Jayar Sorry you are in this horrible situation at work. I have to agree with others that you should probably move on & look elsewhere at this point. It sounds like you have done your best to approach the situation in a professional & responsible way, in terms of seeking to mitigate/ease the burden you've been carrying, but the company just isn't responding. And it sounds like you are caught in a bad office politics situation as well. I would definitely look elsewhere.

 

[jlai]

@Jayar The person who paints the most optimistic view gets promoted while the realists get extra work or get pushed out.

Word. I am the employee of the quarter, but I think if I even complain about the unfairness of who gets awarded and what not, they'll think I'll be the lousy employee of the quarter.

 

[Catherine M]

I really, really, really feel for you Jayar, as I could have written this post two years ago--working 60+ hours a week at two jobs, heading to therapy before I lost my mind, etc. I finally said "enough, life is way too short to make oneself miserable" so I'm down to just one weekend a month in my part time job and feel 1000% better.

You need to take care of yourself first. Even if its just walking one or two days a week for 30 minutes as all this isn't good for you. And def look for other work. I know that's easier said than done. Can you do contract work yourself, to transition to another firm as your existing work place seems to be broken now with all the crappy office politics.

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 221]

@Jayar IME, that seems to be the way things go with programs with nearly impossible goals, budgets and deadlines. The person who paints the most optimistic view gets promoted while the realists get extra work or get pushed out. You can't win here. Time to move on. Be professional as you exit, but don't martyr yourself.

Agreed. In the mean time, start saying no. Ask your manager to prioritize because the time scales are only realistic to complete, say, three of the six things you need to do. If there's a deadline you can't meet, don't agree to it. If she won't prioritize for you, prioritize for yourself and document it in email: "Based on the resources available to me, A, B, and C will be done by the deadline. D, E, and F will have to wait until [future date]. Please let me know if there are additional resources available to help complete D, E, and F sooner, or if you'd like me to prioritize differently." Continue to be helpful and professional, but be firm about limits, and keep putting the problem back on your manager's schedule -- ask for her help. Put in 1-2 extra hours each day if you have to, but no more.

What's the worst that can happen? It takes a long time to terminate someone for cause, which can be a project in and of itself. The likely worst outcome is they eliminate your job and lay you off with a severance package -- which is still far better than you quitting before having something else lined up.

 

[genevieve]

I hate to be that person, but...is any of this actually legal? Not paying for overtime?

Yes. In the US, certain positions can be designated "exempt" from employee protections like overtime. The idea is that the employee has authority over their own schedule and may work extra from time to time - but also may work less than their scheduled time another week. There are definitely people for whom that works well, but too often it means endless unpaid work.

I'm sorry this is such a stressful and bad scenario, Jayar. I agree that it's time to look for other options. And I hope your friend understands the position they put you in by blabbing at the picnic. What a nightmare.

 

[quartz]

((((@Jayar))))

 

[attyfan]

Jayar ... Anyone in your general industry (but not the same company) you can talk to? They might have some advice about finding a new job. Also, you might want to consult with an attorney. While not paying salaried overtime is legal, the rules may be different if your average is less than your state's minimum wage. More importantly, there may be remedies for the effect your workload is having on your health (for example, California has something called "constructive termination", which is treatment so bad that a reasonable person would feel forced to quit, which is a factor in some wrongful termination cases).

 

[joeperryfan]

I really hope you can find a job with better work conditions, no job on earth deserves your health deterioration. Nobody will pay you for what it does to you and your personal life. Could it be that they are using you as a scapegoat for a project that isn't going so well so that old boss can still look good?

 

[Prancer]

Others have better advice than I, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you are in such a soul-destroying job. I hope you find something better.

 

[Vash01]

I hate to be that person, but...is any of this actually legal? Not paying for overtime? Working 60 hours in four days?! Refusing to correct an unworkable situation because some other person said you'd threatened to quit?

Did you take the bitch who spread the lies to HR? Her ass should have been chewed for that.

You made old boss feel like a failure? GOOD. HE IS ONE.

Since I appear to be firmly in immature mode I'll stop giving bad advice now.

At least in the USA it is legal to not pay for OT to 'exempt' or salaried employees. The nonexempt get paid by the hour and also get paid for OT if they work more than 40 hours in a week. Actually 60 hours in a week is pretty normal in most corporations, and in private industry in general. When I worked as a process engineer in the semiconductor industry, the expectation was 24x7 availability. Occasionally I did get called in the middle of the night. In rare cases they expected engineers to go to the fab if the problem was serious enough. All this was without OT. Unfair? Yes. Illegal? No.

Jayar's situation sounds like a political problem to me. Of course the hours he described are difficult and stressful, but IMO something else is going on.

 

[Garden Kitty]

So sorry you're going through this Jayar. The situation is exacerbated by the fact there is no reasonable end in sight - the end of the project is over a year away. And once you're exhausted, you don't have the mental or physical reserves to deal with new problems and stress. The combination of all these factors tend to cause things to spiral.

If you can get some break and make sure you get sleep and take time for exercise, it may help you deal with these issues and decide how you want to handle them, but it's very hard to draw those lines when you're in the midst of the situation.

 

[smurfy]

Yes. In the US, certain positions can be designated "exempt" from employee protections like overtime. The idea is that the employee has authority over their own schedule and may work extra from time to time - but also may work less than their scheduled time another week. There are definitely people for whom that works well, but too often it means endless unpaid work.
.

In my experience - it is frowned upon to 'work less' when you are exempt.

Jayar - I am sorry what you have been going through. But what you wrote - explains it very well. I would keep documentation on everything to CYA. Also you should look for another job, if you can. Like others said - other stuff is going on, sounds like there are some real idiots above you. They do not deserve you and you deserve better.

 

[skatesindreams]

I hope that you find a proper solution for your situation at work; even if that means finding other employment, in addition to appropriate care for the stress you are feeling, as you go through this.

By all means, document everything you are experiencing!

 

[MacMadame]

Late note-- Two years ago I received the highest rating in our entire organization in my annual review. I've always received high ratings. Now I am 'difficult'. Culture or personal issue?

This happened to me once. I stuck it out but that was a mistake. Once they label you negatively like that, it's almost impossible to change their minds about you.

I would start looking for work as soon as Phase I is delivered (in the meantime get ready by working on your resume & networking) as that makes a good story to future bosses -- you've stayed for the delivery, not bailed in the middle, but it's not a good fit anymore so it's time to move on.

Also, Louis had some great advice about saying No and documenting it.

You made old boss feel like a failure? GOOD. HE IS ONE.

Can't disagree with that. Also, how is that YOUR problem?

 

[joeperryfan]

This happened to me once. I stuck it out but that was a mistake. Once they label you negatively like that, it's almost impossible to change their minds about you.
...

Same here I'm afraid, unfair negative labels only stick, IMO, because people are willing to believe them which explains why it's difficult to change their minds.

 

[Simone411]

@Jayar, I'm so sorry to hear this and may God totally bless you for having to go through all that. The best advice I could give you is to look for another job while you're still at this job. Don't just quit the job because you may not be able to draw unemployment which may cause you to be in a predicament with no source of income to help you until you do find another job.

I understand about stress and being paid a salary. I worked for 5 years as an EMD for E-911. The employers don't tell you or let you know about the stress that is involved with that kind of job. I had to take online courses to be certified as an EMD, and that's when I learned about the stress that would be involved especially if you were on the phone with someone so upset because their spouse, family member or friend had stopped breathing and was lying on the floor.

There were all types of emergency situations where an EMD always has to be prepared for. For instance, I received a call once from a lady that was on the interstate while her husband was behind her trying to run her off the road because he wanted to harm her. The husband did run her off the road, and she was injured. I had to stay on that phone with her to keep her calm until the ambulance, paramedics and a state trooper got to the location where she was at. I also had to dispatch Life Air to that location.

There was never a dull moment, but eventually, the stress caught up with me after five years of emergency situations. I started looking for another job, and did find one I loved that didn't involve that kind of stress.

If you can hang in there, start looking for another job. When you do find another job, give the company you work for at least a week's notice. Good luck with this and sending some prayers your way.

 

[Veronika]

(((@Jayar ))) I had no idea you were enduring all of this stress. I have an impossible job too, but I keep most of it to myself. Every time that I talk to my friends and family about it, all they do is tell me to find a new job--like good jobs grow on trees or something. It's the most frustrating thing in the world sometimes.

I am glad that you are in therapy and trying to attack this issue head-on. You seem strong and you know how to defend yourself, which is a good thing. You have to figure out what's best for you and go for it.

I agree with @Louis that you need to say "no" and set boundaries (and keep them set.) I have been working for years at a job that tears me apart and I understand how the stress can be overwhelming.

 

[Winnipeg]

You need to see a counsellor. Does your work have an employee assistance program?

You should also get a legal opinion.

And, find another job

 

[hanca]

My strategy would be sticking exactly to my working hours. That obviously means that a big part of the job won't get done. I would cover myself with sending my boss a list of tasks that needs to be done, and asking which of them do they prefer you to do this week. You can put to each task how long you estimate the task will take you, and explain that all those tasks will take in total let's say 80 hours, but you are paid for 40 hours a week. Which tasks you boss wants you to do this week, and which ones they suggest can wait till next week, or the week later.

If your boss does not respond, pick those tasks you think are more important, keep track what you have done that week including the time it took, and then when anyone accuses you that you are behind with your work, you can account for your time and it is not your fault that the workload is unrealistic. And if someone says you did not prioritised the most urgent tasks, you can say that you asked your boss for an advice and did not receive any response.

And in the meantime, search for a new job.

I have to admit, I have been in a similar situation once, where the expectations on the caseload were absolutely ridiculous. Eventually I realised that it was my fault that I was working 80 hours a week. I was worried that they may think that I am incompetent, so I was putting myself under the pressure to manage more and more work. But the longer you are quiet and do what they want, the more they think they can give you. So eventually even the evenings and weekends I was putting in were not enough. When I finally realised that, I started using the strategy I described above, and I learned to say NO. After a while I realised that being able to say NO feels quite good - it gives you control. (Alternatively, you can say, "yes, I would love to do it, but my schedule for the next two weeks is quite full. What tasks are you going to take off my list instead?")

 

[Meredith]

Jayar, If you do nothing else, do this: Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, scrutinize your diet, exercise (even if it's just walking around the block).

 

[Veronika]

You need to see a counsellor. Does your work have an employee assistance program?

You should also get a legal opinion.

And, find another job

He already stated he is in therapy for this issue. And I stated that "find another job" is not the most constructive advice...

 

[PrincessLeppard]

One of the things they tell teachers to do when negotiations get ridiculous or they want to cut our plan time or add on a bunch of additional duties is to "work the contract." So you work exactly what the contract says. In my case, that would be 7:30-4:00. If something doesn't get done in that time (planning, grading, meetings, etc), it doesn't get done. Of course you need to document your time, but some school districts have found this a very effective way to show how much gets done outside of normal work hours. It's pretty similar to what @Louis suggested. You can't keep doing this - it's why I had to stop being a retail manager. The expectations were absurd.

Best of luck and I hope you find a workable solution.

 

[Lacey]

@Jayar: Two Words: GET OUT.

More: NOW, not later.

More Again: Ask if they need two weeks notice or just (preferably) want you out now. You don't owe them anything.

More Finally: There must be some way to explain this (on your resume?) or in future interviews so that they, and not you, look bad--hours, workload, personalities.

Been there, done that--I promise you will feel better the first day out.