The tipping dilemma in the US?

once_upon

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I know our neighbors around the world have an entirely different norm and culture about tipping, but for us in the US tipping has become a huge issue.

I find the cashless/card only culture has added to my dilemma and anger over the tipping question. I'm curious what do you do and why?

A. always tip regardless of type purchase service. What % do you do?

B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort?

C. if the staff hands you a bottle of water or other item at a concession stand, do you tip? Does it change if a club or school receive all tips?

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do?

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been added

F. you have a gift card, do you leave cash tip?

G. feel embarrassed if you don't leave one

H. never tip.

I. Im visiting from a country that doesn't tip - I do ____?
 
D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do?
There should always be a choice of "no tip" or 0%, however small and awkward. I'm not sure where it would be legal in the US not to have one.
 
In restaurants, I take the pre-tax total, figure out 10%, then double that. Sometimes I round up a few cents to get to a round number. I've noticed that some restaurants provide suggested tip amounts for various percentages (15%, 20%...) but those include tax in the percentage calculation.

For food stands/takeout, I tip the smallest amount. If they're just handing me a water bottle, I don't tip. B/c, really?
 
Most restaurants have started that practice but begin at suggested 18, 20, 25, 30 and sometimes up to 40% which is based on the total ticket

I spent a great deal of time at the ball park 2 weeks ago and tips were on the electronic keypads. Mostly starting at 10% - Up to 30% or other in smaller letters.

I ve no idea if the lady who went to do the ice cream dishes would ever see that.

The Today show had a story on it, which got me thinking.
 
B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort?

I tip 20% (sometimes more) based on the total with taxes. I have never been in a restaurant that charges fees.

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been added

Yes, because I am not going to tip on top of an automatic gratuity. But I don't see that either unless I am part of a large party. I've also never experienced this:

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do?

If I were to encounter this, I would tip the minimum once and never go back.

Otherwise, I tip if I ask for and get something or am granted something exceptional; I tip my hairstylist a lot because she stopped cutting hair but still does it for me and my daughter. I am not going to tip the Starbucks barista for making me a plain Americano and there is no way I would tip anyone for handing me a bottle of water.

I will totally own being cheap. The argument usually goes that if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out. Okay; I can't afford to go out then and I will stay home. How will that work out?
 
I am a generous tipper but I have drawn the line at some of the new places that people are asked to tip.

Now, part of why we are being asked to tip in a lot of new places is because they all use the same few POS software packages and it's built in. It may be that they can turn it off but it may be that they can't. So I don't take it personally or take it as the people serving me expect me to tip.

I tip my hairdresser 20%.
I tip at sitdown restaurants 20% on the top. I used to do it on the amount before taxes but now I don't feel like doing the work
I may tip at a place where you order at the counter but only 10%. Not a fast food chain though. But a restaurant where you order at the counter, but they do some work to get your food. If they bring the food out to me, I might go higher, up to 20% especially if I like the place or have some connection to it
I do not tip at retail stores. Even if I get personal service, I have no faith that the person helping me will get my tip
On a cruise, they charge a daily "crew appreciation" but I also tipped our waiters and our cabin steward on top of that. I tipped the person who did my hair at the spa
I tip 20% at spas
I do not tip the mail carrier or give a gift at the holidays like some do. I feel a bit guilty about it but I'm just not organized enough for that.
I do not tip landscapers, delivery people such as Amazon, FedEx, but I do tip drivers such as Lyft, Door Dash, etc. Usually 20% but once in a while 25% if they give extraordinary service.

If I feel like the price is the price (i.e., if I hire a contractor), then no tip. If I know the people serving me are being exploited, I definitely tip.

If a tip is on the bill already, I look at what it is and top it off to 20% if it's below that.
 
On a related note, building staff. I don't know about other cities, but in New York it's customary to tip at the holidays - card shops even sell a selection of cheque/bill size holiday cards in packets of 10. In the years I lived there, I spent more on tipping the building staff than I did on gifts for my entire family, including my husband. Assuming most residents were doing the same, those guys made thousands.
 
On a related note, building staff. I don't know about other cities, but in New York it's customary to tip at the holidays - card shops even sell a selection of cheque/bill size holiday cards in packets of 10. In the years I lived there, I spent more on tipping the building staff than I did on gifts for my entire family, including my husband. Assuming most residents were doing the same, those guys made thousands.
Yep. We have 10 or so building staff. At $50 apiece and more for two or three who really go out of their way for us…well, do the math.

175 units, even if the youngers and renters don’t tip…again, do the math.
 
I know our neighbors around the world have an entirely different norm and culture about tipping, but for us in the US tipping has become a huge issue.

I find the cashless/card only culture has added to my dilemma and anger over the tipping question. I'm curious what do you do and why?

A. always tip regardless of type purchase service. What % do you do? No

B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort? Tip on total. Usually 20%

C. if the staff hands you a bottle of water or other item at a concession stand, do you tip? Does it change if a club or school receive all tips? No

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do? Haven’t run into this but if I did I’d probably complain if it were a transaction I normally would not tip on.

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been added Not specifically but I think I’d notice if there were.

F. you have a gift card, do you leave cash tip? Yes

G. feel embarrassed if you don't leave one No

H. never tip. N/A

I. Im visiting from a country that doesn't tip - I do ____? N/A


Most restaurants have started that practice but begin at suggested 18, 20, 25, 30 and sometimes up to 40% which is based on the total ticket

I spent a great deal of time at the ball park 2 weeks ago and tips were on the electronic keypads. Mostly starting at 10% - Up to 30% or other in smaller letters.

I ve no idea if the lady who went to do the ice cream dishes would ever see that.

The Today show had a story on it, which got me thinking.
Not sure how it is in other states, but here many of the people who are working concessions are volunteers whose wages/tips are pooled with everyone else’s and divided up to go to a “charity”. I use air quotes because the charity could be things like your child’s non-profit skating club, where the funds are credited to your account. Yes, I did that for several games. It was not worth it for me, but there were many single moms who were paying their child’s tuition at parochial schools or public universities that way. Tax free income.
 
Tipping is a wrecked culture, as someone who worked in it for nearly 20 years. Servers and bartenders are making the state minimum wage for tipped employees, which in most states is much less than what the normal minimum wage is. I think when I got out of it in Florida, it was maybe around $5 but for a long time it was $3 or so. My first serving job in Ohio, that wage was like $2.12 and my paychecks used to be $0.00 pay period after pay period because we took cash home at the end of each night.

Top that off with cities such as mine that have tourists from all over the world that more often that not will not tip anything, even on massive bills. So I’d say at least 90% of restaurants and bars here already have gratuity included and they make that clear from the start. The bar I was at for almost a decade- no. And people would come and argue that ‘all of Miami Beach’ does it, so the tip must be hidden in there somewhere. I received 0 on bills in the hundreds many times. 🤷🏼‍♂️

I also pointed out a few months back that tipped employees, even with all of the above in mind, are typically tipping out to other staff in the restaurant or bar because the owners/chain/whoever want to pay those employees much less than they should be paid. Credit card tips, which are literally 90% or more of the transactions since Covid, are automatically reported in full on taxes to the server or bartender.. yet in companies I worked for, it wasn’t that out of the question to tip out 20% of that money (or a certain percent of total sales) to other staff… in cash. So of course we are essentially getting taxed on money that we never had to begin with, as it went directly to someone else as a cash out or whatever.

I overtip everyone because I know the shit most of these people go through. The minute anyone gets mad, they tell said service worker ‘that’s why you’re a [fill in position name].’ I heard it many times in my life for things I had nothing to do with or no control over. I tip my barber around 50%, usually tip bartenders way over 20%, and meals 20% at an absolute minimum.

And if you have a gift card or free drink ticket or whatever else, you should 100000000% bring cash or ask someone to ring in a penny on a credit card to tip.
 
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When I have been to the US I am happy to tip. But no-one's wages should be dependent on it. And when you do it because people are such paid appalling wages it feels like you are giving to a charity rather than recognising good service.

I am happy to tip for good service. We don't have a culture of it here in Australia but I am happy to do it when you get good service. Or there is also the glass for spare change which I will throw some money in for one of my regular places.

And if I ever see one of these I will always throw some change in if I have it.

 
At sit down restaurants, I tip 20% - more if service was exceptional, less if service was substandard although I've never not tipped at all no matter how bad the service was. Counter service I do not tip and will almost always pay in cash so I don't have to deal with the tipping option on the iPad or whatever it is. If I'm at a buffet where you pay the cashier in advance and you serve yourself, I will leave a dollar a drink if someone brings water or another beverage. If I'm sitting at a bar, I tip a dollar a drink, more if the drink is something more complicated than a rum and coke. My husband is often a miserly tipper so I will surreptitiously add to his tip when we leave as he usually pays by credit card but will leave the tip in cash. :p
 
I know our neighbors around the world have an entirely different norm and culture about tipping, but for us in the US tipping has become a huge issue.

I find the cashless/card only culture has added to my dilemma and anger over the tipping question. I'm curious what do you do and why?

A. always tip regardless of type purchase service. What % do you do?

B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort? 20% of total bill

C. if the staff hands you a bottle of water or other item at a concession stand, do you tip? Does it change if a club or school receive all tips? No Tip unless they are preparing food, or doing something extra.

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do? It has never happened to me.

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been added. Yes

F. you have a gift card, do you leave cash tip? Yes

G. feel embarrassed if you don't leave one, no because I am a good tipper in general. My husband is a good tipper, too. We try to always tip in Cash.

H. never tip.

I. Im visiting from a country that doesn't tip - I do ____?
 
I tip everyone for everything and I’m glad to do it. Most of my daily transactions are in cash. People who provide me with services such as cleaning and yard work prefer it and I’ve always paid cash in restaurants. I often eat alone and I generally tip 40% because I don’t want the server to take a pay cut to serve me. Even when I’m with others I go higher than 20% and am comfortable doing that.
I generally buy two hundred dollars worth of groceries about twice a month through instacart. I tip $30 for each visit and the delivery folks seem happy with it. My order is usually the first one picked up. The store is only 10 blocks from my home. The pharmacy is even closer and I tip the delivery person $20. I leave a few bucks for fast food workers too. My income is decent, my expenses are few, and I do believe, like the economist I am, that those tipping dollars are going from someone who values them less to someone who values them more.
I understand that people view tipping in different ways and all are legitimate. For me, the pandemic opened my eyes to things I hadn’t noticed before such as how valuable these services are to me and how grateful I am to have people willing to provide them - reliably and pleasantly, even though they are often grossly underpaid. I couldn’t live as I do without them. I try to reflect that in the size of my gratuities.
 
I do not tip landscapers, delivery people such as Amazon, FedEx, but I do tip drivers such as Lyft, Door Dash, etc.

Normally I wouldn't tip someone like an Amazon delivery person, but I did for the young guy who brought my small freezer. It was HEAVY and he didn't have a cart to haul it.

I tipped the guys who brought my new sofa last year too.
 
I'm not eating at restaurants indoors anymore, and I can't imagine a time when I will, so when I order take-out, I tip like I'm eating in, which is at least 20%.

And I definitely tip people who deliver big things to me, as well as movers.

Since my credit union told me that they don't have cash in the office -- I could go to their main office in Tukwila, as if -- and I should go to the local Safeway to break a $20 from the ATM, I only have a few bills, and pay nearly everything by card.

The first time I saw a tip jar for buying something where I wasn't served at a table or counter was in Cambridge, MA after I graduated from college nearly 50 years ago, at an ice cream shop close to Harvard Square. (Maybe Baskin Robbins?) Those jars bred like rabbits. I was living on the same very little money they were, and I resented those things to the max. Part of it was that I grew up in a place where people had their own small businesses, and you didn't tip the owner or their kids who were working there. (You'd tip for deliveries or carrying your bags to the car.) Now I think that the people doing a lot of the work in other people's businesses, even if it's taking a sandwich from a shelf and putting it in a bag, could use a few shekels here or there.

I remember being annoyed when I moved here that the expectation in Seattle was that you tipped the barista, but then a friend in restaurant management told me it was the same as tipping the bartender, which I couldn't imagine not doing in the US, so thus began a slippery slope...
 
I know our neighbors around the world have an entirely different norm and culture about tipping, but for us in the US tipping has become a huge issue.

I find the cashless/card only culture has added to my dilemma and anger over the tipping question. I'm curious what do you do and why?
Since I posed the question:

A. always tip regardless of type purchase service. What % do you do?
I tip for most things - dining, spa, hair, delivery services. I will tip 18-25%

B. only tip in sit down restaurants. When calculating the tip, do you exclude the taxes and the city restaurant fees? Or that's too much effort? honestly I don't think about it, usually just tip on the whole bill. I tip more than my husband, try to grab the check first

C. if the staff hands you a bottle of water or other item at a concession stand, do you tip? Does it change if a club or school receive all tips?this one i really, really struggle with. 95% of food trucks, venues etc are cashless. If you don't have a card, you are directed to an ATM of sorts and you purchase a card to be used in the venue. The person who simply walks 3 steps to open a frig door to hand me a bottle of water? The venue has removed vending machines. I did 10%, but it ticked me off

D. when the authorization screen won't authorize your swipe or tap, until you select the amount of a tip regardless of the purchase, what do you do?see above. However, I have noticed the appearance of these card readers appearing at convenience stores and once in a clothing store. Those are a absolute no

E. always look to see if a service charge or automatic gratuity has been addedI don't, unless we are a group of 6 or more. Even then, someone else usually points it out.

F. you have a gift card, do you leave cash tip?I rarely have cash - I mean almost never. I try to put some of the meal on a personal card so I can leave a tip.

G. feel embarrassed if you don't leave oneyes - which is why I almost always tip. But being forced (even if it is my own ethics) makes me resentful

H. never tip. - n/a

I don't go to bars, so no bartender tip dilemma. I don't drink coffee, so no barista dilemma. Places you order at the counter and pick up at counter, no but a dilemma. Every holiday season I debate on our Condo staff - we certainly don't get the level of care the tower condo owners do and yet...

I do resent the tipping process - because I think employers need to pay staff what they are worth. I resent that it's an expectation and not a thank you for excellent service. I resent the flip screen - the staff at the counter know what you've tipped before they start preparing your order.

And I never know who it goes too - just wait staff; wait staff, bussers and cooks,; includes hosts and/or managers.
 
I struggle mostly with how to appropriately tip hair, nail, massage - regular service providers who I see frequently and they are almost like friends. I appreciate their service and I know I am tipping generously but sometimes it is not their best and I feel a bit ripped off. I looked at my bill from the hair salon recently and thought "for what" - a light trim and 10 minute styling and then with this sizeable percentage tip which made the ultimate charge seem worth way more then the service I received.
 
I do resent the tipping process - because I think employers need to pay staff what they are worth.
The average Starbucks barista in my state makes $14.13 an hour. Minimum wage here is $10.70 per hour for non-tipped employees and $5.35 per hour for tipped employees (baristas are considered non-tipped employees). What should Starbucks pay a barista?

Chipotle here pays about the same as Starbucks, but people don't usually tip there. What should those employees be paid?

Amazon drivers make almost $20 an hour on average; in this state, they make around $40K a year. What should an employer be paying per hour for an Amazon driver?

I'm not saying any of them are overpaid, but how are you determining that they are underpaid?
 
Tipping culture is weird in Canada because we do have better minimum wages than the States does but it still varies by province and Alberta has the lowest (or second lowest I don't 100% remember there) in the country. So I usually tip 20-25% in sit down restaurants. The only fast food joint here that has a tipping setup on the pinpads is Subway and I stopped going there at least in part because I had a couple of interactions with the owners of the local franchise at my job and they weren't great.

I tip on a flat rate above the percentages on the app I use for food delivery. I find the drivers get me my food faster when I do that.

I take cabs pretty regularly to and from work because I have knee issues that make taking the bus hard and the cab company I go with likes me well enough that I get a flat rate that's a little lower than what it would actually cost to take the cab without my flat rate when I go to and from work or the grocery store behind my job and I always tip them 25%. They've got a good bunch of drivers and they're always really appreciative.
 
In Canada, I’m conflicted. I tip 20%+ at restaurants for good service. I tip the hairdresser, more for my kids’ haircuts than my own, because kids 🤷‍♀️ I always tip gig workers like food delivery workers insanely well. They’re often immigrants, work really hard, and I feel like the system isn’t fair for them. If I’m too lazy to get my take out, I’m prepared to pay. I don’t tip at fast food unless someone’s gone over and above. Because minimum wage is relatively high in my province ($17.85 per hour) I don’t stress too much about not tipping baristas, etc….

I do remember visiting a friend who was working in the US for some hospitality program that had an exchange with a hotel in Denver and her wage when she was essentially working as a waitress was insanely low, like $3-4 an hour which was pretty horrifying to me. I had no idea that people working those kinds of jobs really needed tips to survive.
 
The average Starbucks barista in my state makes $14.13 an hour. Minimum wage here is $10.70 per hour for non-tipped employees and $5.35 per hour for tipped employees (baristas are considered non-tipped employees). What should Starbucks pay a barista?
The minimum wage is high here, but especially at corporate coffee places like Starbucks, they screw around with people's hours. While they might make a reasonable amount if they had full time hours, they're often don't and are scrambling to do at least one other job. It might be fine if you have a full or 3/4 job with good benefits, and these shifts are extra money, but not so much if you want hours you're not given, and you don't have a fixed schedule where you can commit to something else part-time. When I think, screw it, I'll retire and move to Canada now, I realize how lucky I am to have the job I have, and part of that is spreading it around.
 
@Prancer - I don't know. I often hear if you can't tip them you shouldn't do ________ (fill in the blank)

Should we tip child care staff, they often make less than some of the examples you listed. As far as I know, they don't get a service tip. Do we tip the medical assistant at the doctor's? They make less than or similar to the Amazon delivery worker.

Should we tip our child's school teachers, lunch room staff, janitorial staff? Should we tip our nurses (as far as I know that's not allowed by employer policies). Should I tip my accountant's administrative staff?

I don't know what the average wait staff at a high end restaurant makes, yet if my bill is $200, I'm expected to tip $40-60 for that meal.

I still don't know if any of the concession staff gets the 15% tip I authorize at the arena or stadium.

Let's say 15,000 (which was around the attendance at the last ball game I went to) spent an average of $25 for snacks and water, tips of 12% would be ~$45,000. How do I know if the employees are getting that?
I know $25 purchase is low - judging by the #of beers I saw being purchased.

I don't know what the answer is - I just know from the story on the Today Show - many people are at the breaking point.
 
I struggle mostly with how to appropriately tip hair, nail, massage - regular service providers who I see frequently and they are almost like friends. I appreciate their service and I know I am tipping generously but sometimes it is not their best and I feel a bit ripped off. I looked at my bill from the hair salon recently and thought "for what" - a light trim and 10 minute styling and then with this sizeable percentage tip which made the ultimate charge seem worth way more then the service I received.
I tip my hair stylist at least 20-25%. She owns the salon.

Manicurists at the shop I used to go to fought over who did my nails as I would tip 20%. After Covid restrictions, I determined nail care was a luxury which damaged my nails. I don't go anymore.

I'm frustrated by the practice of expectations of generosity by customers to pay above what the price for things are
 
I do remember visiting a friend who was working in the US for some hospitality program that had an exchange with a hotel in Denver and her wage when she was essentially working as a waitress was insanely low, like $3-4 an hour which was pretty horrifying to me. I had no idea that people working those kinds of jobs really needed tips to survive.
That must have been a long time ago… minimum wage in Denver is now nearly $20/hour, and minimum wage for tipped employees is just under $16/hour. So I have an internal struggle with tipping 20% at restaurants these days — still do it though. I m seriously annoyed with the expectation for tips at places like ice cream shops. I’ll usually just round it up to an even amount.

I don’t use DoorDash or the like — if we want takeout we get it ourselves because when you add service fees and tips it almost doubles the cost of the food and I simply refuse to pay that much extra.

Manicures run $40 for gel and I generally add an extra $10.
 
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That must have been a long time ago… minimum wage in Denver is now nearly $20/hour, and minimum wage for piped employees is just under $16/hour. So I have an internal struggle with tipping 20% at restaurants these days — still do it though. I m seriously annoyed with the expectation for tips at places like ice cream shops. I’ll usually just round it up to an even amount.

I don’t use DoorDash or the like — if we want takeout we get it ourselves because when you add service fees and tips it almost doubles the cost of the food and I simply refuse to pay that much extra.

Manicures run $40 for gel and I generally add an extra $10.
It was a long time ago. Glad to hear it’s changed for the better.
 
In California, tipped workers make the same minimum wage as everyone else. I still tip well because being a server is a horrible job. People treat you like crap and blame you for things that are not in your control such as how good the food tastes or how long the cook takes to make it.

I take cabs pretty regularly to and from work because I have knee issues that make taking the bus hard and the cab company I go with likes me well enough that I get a flat rate that's a little lower than what it would actually cost to take the cab without my flat rate when I go to and from work or the grocery store behind my job and I always tip them 25%. They've got a good bunch of drivers and they're always really appreciative.
Yeah, I tip the Lyft people a ton even if they are just okay.

I forgot to say that if you have a coupon or a gift card, you should tip on the cost of the meal, not what you paid.
 
I typically tip 20% in restaurants, we have no sales tax in Delaware so that makes it simpler. I tip my hairdresser $10/cut & color even though she owns the salon (a one-chair MySalon place). I will sometimes tip landscaper guys if they’re doing a big job for me, which they have all seemed to appreciate —just $10 or $20 each. I tip the trash guys $10 or $20 each at Christmas.

I don’t eat fast food any more and am typically not going into ice cream places but if I do, I may just drop my change in the cup.

At the shelter vaccine clinics I work at, one of the staff members accidentally referred to a donation as a tip. :lol: We still joke about it. “Did you get any tips?”
 
Top that off with cities such as mine that have tourists from all over the world that more often that not will not tip anything, even on massive bills. So I’d say at least 90% of restaurants and bars here already have gratuity included and they make that clear from the start. The bar I was at for almost a decade- no. And people would come and argue that ‘all of Miami Beach’ does it, so the tip must be hidden in there somewhere. I received 0 on bills in the hundreds many times. 🤷🏼‍♂️
I’ve been going to Miami a couple times a month for the last two years and it’s the first city I’ve been to that I’ve seen the tip automatically included. And they gave me the reason as you state of why they do this, except not one restaurant has ever told me upfront the tip is included (I stay in Brickell). A lot of my co-workers who come in for the first time and if we go out to dinner I’ll tell them the tip is already included, and sure enough they paid double tip at lunch earlier because they didn’t know. The bartender next to my hotel is the only time someone has told me the tip is NOT included in their check and then went on to explain why the majority of places automagically include it.

What makes tipping more awkward is that more restaurants are now bringing you the credit card machine to your table and are having to decide on tip with waiter in front of you. I like the machine and never understood why we give away our card so freely to a stranger (rarely ever did that in Latin America or Europe) but feel forced to give the max (which i normally do even when I only had a few items that cost a lot, or mostly wine, and server didn’t really do any extra work, but that’s a different discussion…).

Edited to add: Ordered UberEats this morning and that tip defaults to 22% now. Sure you can adjust it but I guess they’re making it the standard now. Another issue I have with UberEats is that you tip based on amount of your order, but if the restaurant forgets to send you item(s) they’ll refund you the amount of the item but not the tip. I don’t wish to ding the driver cause they probably accepted the order based on the amount, but if a restaurant forgets to send you $150 worth of booze UberEats should reimburse that percentage and eat the costs IMO.
 
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