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  • Oh, siouxdaddio, that sneaky little imposter "icedance" is not THE Auntie Icedance. I wish I could be in Torino for worlds in 3 weeks, but alas! :drama:

    Anyways, back to the Buttle. :2faced: The Buttle needs to get on his knees and beg for the Goddess Bute's mercy, declare that she is infinitely superior to him, and be her humble servant day and night for all of eternity. :2faced: The Buttle needs to create a bloodshrine to the Holy Deity Bute-san and make tons of bloody sakrifices in her honor. :2faced:
    Auntie icedance thinks that the Buttle should get down on all fours and lick the ground that the Bute and the Slute walk upon. :2faced:
    Eys, dearest vulgar siouxdaddy-san. :2faced: Auntie icedance acknowledges that the Buttle deserved the 2008 world title; however, she does not particularly care for him, and she strongly prefers the Slute to the Buttle. :2faced:
    :2faced: Auntie icedance never dies, siouxdaddy dearest. :2faced: She rises again and again like ghost of the father in Hamlet. :2faced: Or, alternatively, like ChiChiLaRue's tranny dickie. :2faced:
    What's so good about this morning, siouxdaddy? :yawn: And why would anyone want to be boobless, considering these Pamela Andersonnie juggies Auntie icedance is blessed with? :2faced:
    Calgary...my hometown. (13 or so years ago :D)

    I see. So you started out a far north and east of where you are now, then moved west, then southwest into this country. :COP:

    I left out Nelly Furtado. She appeared with some guy early on and sang something.
    12) A magnificently Afro'd diva sings the Olympic hymn.
    13) A minute of silence is observed for Nodar Kumaritashvili.
    14) The last few torchbearers (whose names I forget) pass on the main torch to Wayne Gretzky. The duty of lighting the cauldron in the indoor arena will actually fall to four people.
    15) Or should I say three? One of the pillars meant to rise, then close around the cauldron fails to come up, so just three are used to light it. The opening ceremony concludes.
    16) Gretzky is driven to the waterfront site of the official cauldron and lights it without incident.
    7) Scenes of previous Olympics play out against the backdrop.
    8) Inline skaters with lit-up costumes circle the "mountain" as the Vancouver skyline is projected onto it and lights chase around the scene like city traffic.
    9) Poetry time. A fat man with a neck beard expounds on Canadian pride, the country's famed politeness, livability, and every other virtue from A to Zed (he made a point of it being "zed"). Civil war is declared in the FSU Opening Ceremony thread as the "cynicism" of critics is called out to no worthwhile purpose.
    10) Some stuff that I missed while :watch: the FSU mini-fracas.
    11) Assorted notables carry and present the Olympic flag, including Barbara Ann Scott, Bobby Orr, Romeo Dallaire, and Donald Sutherland (whose voice could be heard earlier intoning other people's Deep Thoughts about Cana-da).
    1) Four totems go up for each of the First Nations peoples who have lived in British Columbia these past few centuries.
    2) the parade of nations
    3) start of light show spotlighting the various regions of Canada; begins with the northern lights and the rise of the "spirit bear" from under the floor (which was my favorite part)
    4) the effect of orcas swimming from one end of the stadium to the other is produced; very cool.
    5) tall trees appeared to grow out of the floor; Sarah McLachlan sings something while people modern dance around the tree trunks.
    6) French-Irish-Acadian-pseudopunk fiddling and dancing
    5) Joni Mitchell (or a recording) sings Both Sides Now as a young prairie boy "flies" over the Canadian plains.
    6) Back to western Canada: lots of tented fabric comes up to symbolize the Rockies (or Coastal Mountains?) as skiiers and snowboarders are lowered from the ceiling halfway to the floor...
    More similes:

    The mashed potatoes were lumpier than the cellulite on Auntie icedance's legs.

    The black agate ring she was wearing was as dark and round as a dingleberry from Toshi-san.
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