I think Harry and Meghan are a pair of whinging narcissists who never met a grievance they couldn’t continue to nurse thirty minutes after they’re dead, but I also think the royal family is fundamentally to blame here. The history of royals, not just in the UK, is full of the question asked over and over and still not answered satisfactorily ... “What to do with the spare?” You need a spare at first, in case something happens to the heir, but you don’t need a spare forever so what happens next? In modern times it’s become even more tricky … sure, younger siblings have more options now, it isn’t just the priesthood or the military, as it used to be for second sons (there was always the option of armed rebellion against your older sibling, I suppose). But this idea that anyone should be expected to spend their life happily always coming second to their sibling, putting aside their own wants, interests, relationships, and existing only as “the backup” is crazy now. It happened in different ways with Margaret, Andrew, now Harry. Did anyone ever make an attempt to help Harry define himself as something other than “the other one”? This is the root of his problem, and fundamentally sets him up in an eternal competition and adversarial relationship with his brother. It seems like, for better or worse, Meghan was the first person in his life to say “wait a minute, this is crazy, why can’t you come first sometimes?” You can see why the family resented/feared/disliked her, from their perspective Harry was content to play his assigned role until she came along.
Their original plan, to make something of themselves in another country, where they could have more autonomy and focus on their own priorities and interests, had a lot of merit. I don’t blame them at all for wanting more control over their own lives. I think the example of Princess Madeleine of Sweden is a good one. She lives in Florida (last I heard) with her husband and children, does work for charities that interest her, and makes the occasional appearance back in Sweden for family events and special holidays. Her children don’t have titles (they are still princes and princesses, but have no titles to pass on to their own children) or official roles as members of the royal household, and are growing up as private citizens and beloved grandchildren of the king.
