CNN's Anthony Bourdain dead (suicide reported)

[judiz]

When my husband was in the emergency room with suicidal thoughts, the nurse told him to watch tv and take his mind off it.

When I had him admitted to a psychiatric ER, he spent all night sitting in a chair next to a man in handcuffs who was screaming and threatening to kill everyone.

 

[Gazpacho]

When my husband was in the emergency room with suicidal thoughts, the nurse told him to watch tv and take his mind off it.

When I had him admitted to a psychiatric ER, he spent all night sitting in a chair next to a man in handcuffs who was screaming and threatening to kill everyone.

Your husband was very fortunate to have you by his side in the hospital. Many suicidal people don't have that. Imagine if he had shown up with the same symptoms but disheveled and alone with no one to put as his emergency contact. Then imagine he was also a Haitian immigrant with broken English. How do you think he would have been treated?

 

[WillyElliot]

………..

Does this happen to everyone who calls a suicide hotline? Certainly not. But you need to know that it's a possibility.

And if you call a suicide hotline in the United States because you are depressed and not imminently suicidal, be prepared to be chastised for wasting their time because they are there to prevent suicides and not to talk to depressed people, and then be hung up on.

Wow. And you're right about suicide hotlines. Back in school I was feeling very depressed, on the way to suicidal, and I thought maybe I could call the hotline and receive a 'sign' or something that killing myself isn't the way to go. I called and I was already crying, sobbing, trying to get words out. This bizatch at the other end yelled at me not to call anymore and hung up on me. Voila, the "sign". It was the first and only time I ever called a hotline. I immediately changed from depressed and upset to angry, and then I started laughing (because I have a pretty dark sense of humor). Yep don't call a suicide hotline and expect anything. But it kind of is funny in a warped way. Can you imagine working at a suicide hotline and yelling at extremely depressed people? She sure didn't have the temperament for the job, obvs.

 

[Sylvia]

CNN will air "Remembering Anthony Bourdain," a special report on the life and legacy of the chef, storyteller and writer, tonight at 10 p.m. ET.

 

[Japanfan]

This will be a very unpopular post, but it needs to be said. If you are in the United States, don't call a suicide hotline unless you are prepared to endure the following: have police knock down your door, handcuff you, and stuff you in a police car in front of all your neighbors and anyone else who might be watching; lose your job because you can't communicate to your employer or anyone else while in the hospital; be sexually and/or physically assaulted by hospital staff; report the abuse and be punished for lying (remember that you're reporting it to those with work relationships with the abusers and are probably already aware since there's no way you're the only patient who has experienced it); have everything you say or do, including showing up wearing black clothes, met with suspicion; be officially punished for asking too many questions (this will be the official stated reason on your chart); have no privacy including on the toilet; pay thousands of dollars while losing your job (see above); return to your home to find that you have been evicted due to the police incident (see above); find out that the only follow up from the hospital staff is from the billing department; be harrassed by debt collectors; suffer decades of PTSD from said experience.

Does this happen to everyone who calls a suicide hotline? Certainly not. But you need to know that it's a possibility.

Unfortunately SFAIK your description of how psych wards strip people of their dignity and deny them rights is true.

And SFAIK health/mental care professionals do have the right to admit a person to hospital if the person gives any indication of suicidal ideation. If a person knew that, the person might not share thoughts of suicide, which could mean that the person does not get help and therefore do proceed to kill himself/herself.

However, how could a suicide hotline representative know the address of callers? I would think they could not know it unless the caller volunteered it, and would otherwise be protected by their anonymity.

 

[Gazpacho]

However, how could a suicide hotline representative know the address of callers? I would think they could not know it unless the caller volunteered it, and would otherwise be protected by their anonymity.

My experience was before I had a cell phone, so they were able to trace the call. Perhaps if you call from a cell phone today with a burner number, then they wouldn't be able to trace it. In such a case, maybe they'd hang up on you for wasting their time?

 

[twinsissv]

Damn! The loss of yet another vociferous and outspoken rebel!

How sad. "Whenever you're in trouble, won't you...stand by me." PLEASE!!!

 

[judiz]

You would be brought to tears over the conditions of the psychiatric hospitals my husband was in during his illness.

 

[Buzz]

CNN will air "Remembering Anthony Bourdain," a special report on the life and legacy of the chef, storyteller and writer, tonight at 10 p.m. ET.

This is on right now and Anderson Cooper is hosting. I cannot imagine what Cooper must be going through right now considering he also lost a brother to suicide.

 

[skatesindreams]

All his friends and associates who spoke seemed devastated; and shared their feelings about him as you rarely see "on-air".
A Parts Unknown tribute begins at 8 PM ET, tonight.

 

[Twilight1]

Japanfan- Could be because suicide call lines work with people who may meet the threshold for risk to self and others and fit the Mental Health act. People are trained to do a thorough risk assessment and people may get flagged.

Not sure how that works... that is just my best guess

 

[skatesindreams]

Viewers share their thoughts:
https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2018/06/us/bourdain-memories/index.html?slack=true

 

[Japanfan]

Japanfan- Could be because suicide call lines work with people who may meet the threshold for risk to self and others and fit the Mental Health act. People are trained to do a thorough risk assessment and people may get flagged.

Not sure how that works... that is just my best guess

That may be true, and people who call suicide lines may be in so much anguish that they don't care if they are hospitalized - perhaps even want it.

I'm almost phobic when it comes to hospitals, so the possibility of being hospitalized might deter people like me from calling a suicide hotline.

You would be brought to tears over the conditions of the psychiatric hospitals my husband was in during his illness.

I've read some horrifying accounts about psych wards.

A friend of my mine voluntarily consented to being admitted a few years ago due to severe depression. Once admitted, she felt like a prisoner. Scary.

 

[twinsissv]

Viewers share their thoughts:
https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2018/06/us/bourdain-memories/index.html?slack=true

...hearts unknown

 

[Choupette]

Just thought I'd mention that I've had close ties with a suicide hotline in Quebec, and that absolutely no volunteer there would ever treat anyone the way Gazpacho described. They have proper training and there is a logic behind the way they interact with the caller. Calling police would be a rare, very last resort, only if it is established that the person is actually in the process of harming themselves. I've never heard of the police not displaying sensitivity either.

I do not mean to invalidate Gazpacho's experience in any way, but I thought I'd mention it to make sure that people from different countries would not be tempted to make generalizations and refrain from calling one if they needed help either for themselves or for someone else. It can be a useful resource and if I had suicidal thoughts myself, I would not fear calling one.

 

[Twilight1]

@Japanfan
People who are voluntarily admitted have a different set of "rights" for lack of better term than someone involuntarily admitted.

To be admitted, someone has to be at risk to self or others on some level so suicide risk assessments are ongoing with Psychiatric nurses and almost daily assessments done.

Patients should always be advised of Patient Rights Advisors.

Not to mention, most acute psych units have a multitude of mental health issues to address so security is always in the forefront for safety reasons.

I don't doubt your friend struggled with feeling imprisoned though.

 

[allezfred]

Another very sad death.

 

[judiz]

@Japanfan
People who are voluntarily admitted have a different set of "rights" for lack of better term than someone involuntarily admitted.

To be admitted, someone has to be at risk to self or others on some level so suicide risk assessments are ongoing with Psychiatric nurses and almost daily assessments done.

Patients should always be advised of Patient Rights Advisors.

Not to mention, most acute psych units have a multitude of mental health issues to address so security is always in the forefront for safety reasons.

I don't doubt your friend struggled with feeling imprisoned though.

My husband was always a voluntary admission but I doubt he was treated any different than involuntary. His shoelaces and belt were taken away, he was not allowed to use a regular razor, no nail clipping or haircuts. No magazines with staples allowed, no glass bottles etc. I had to leave all my possessions outside the unit at the New York hospital but the New Jersey hospital was more lenient. He was not allowed to leave the unit, no open windows, very little tv viewing, very little social activities.

 

[Twilight1]

My husband was always a voluntary admission but I doubt he was treated any different than involuntary. His shoelaces and belt were taken away, he was not allowed to use a regular razor, no nail clipping or haircuts. No magazines with staples allowed, no glass bottles etc. I had to leave all my possessions outside the unit at the New York hospital but the New Jersey hospital was more lenient. He was not allowed to leave the unit, no open windows, very little tv viewing, very little social activities.

The unit I work in has varying pass levels so people can access other resources within the hospital like the gym, leisure lounge, exercise room, library etc.

Depending on risk assessment some of those items may be taken on my unit too. We have to be cognitive of any sharps.

We also have programming from 9am to 5pm with access to 12 step groups.

I know a lot of units don't have much through the day. I wish more places were like where I work...

 

[puglover]

Voluntary hospitalization is another very challenging prospect for the care-giving family members. We chose to deal with our daughter at home and she was only hospitalized once when things were just too overwhelming. I felt great guilt over that and shortly after she returned home there was a rape that occurred on her unit that just horrified me. In retrospect though I wonder if we took on too much. All of our other children had left home except our youngest daughter and she saw and heard way too much. Our home revolved around her older sisters illness and often her disease was controlling all of us. There are certainly moments I would take back if I could but the absolute unrelenting stress was unimaginable. It is maybe somewhat therapeutic for me to express my feelings here as I don't ever even discuss them with my husband. Just too painful!

 

[Gazpacho]

The unit I work in has varying pass levels so people can access other resources within the hospital like the gym, leisure lounge, exercise room, library etc.

Depending on risk assessment some of those items may be taken on my unit too. We have to be cognitive of any sharps.

We also have programming from 9am to 5pm with access to 12 step groups.

I know a lot of units don't have much through the day. I wish more places were like where I work...

Your place has gyms, leisure lounge, exercise room, library; plus daily activities and group help?! I have never been in a place that had even one of those things. Is your place an expensive private rehab center, the ones that advertise and cater to the rich?

 

[Gazpacho]

Deleted

 

[Vash01]

Shocking and very sad.

 

[judiz]

My husband was hospitalized almost 300 days between the onset of his illness in September 2015 and his suicide in September 2017. The first two hospitalizations were in Manhattan between November and March and the psychiatric ward was filled with various diagnoses and population. Doctors visited once a day, group therapy was not geared to my husband’s diagnosis and he was released almost in as worse condition as his admission both times. Third hospital was a hospital in Massachusetts that specially treated his diagnosis, they ran it like a boot camp and shamed him (in his opinion), he was discharged for not working hard enough to overcome his illness after two months. Fourth hospitalization lasted 6 months in Wisconsin, also in a setting geared to his illness. He was treated with respect and improved enough to move to an independent living situation prior to returning home. He was not where they wanted him but close enough. He came home in January 2017, did really well battling his inner demons until June when medication interactions started affecting his physical as well as mental health. He was hospitalized twice in July and August and ended his life a month after discharge.

 

[4rkidz]

Your place has gyms, leisure lounge, exercise room, library; plus daily activities and group help?! I have never been in a place that had even one of those things. Is your place an expensive private rehab center, the ones that advertise and cater to the rich?

I had a family member admitted into a facility that was excellent and saved their life. It also included a recreational therapist and many of the things described. This is in Canada and 100 percent no cost. Also the help lines especially the kids ones I have had clients whose lives were saved by those volunteers. I’m so sorry you had such a horrible experience but I would be concerned if people were afraid to reach out because of your experience? I hope you are able to use your awful experience to help others, volunteers are so important and there are many roles including those that are behind the scenes too.

 

[4rkidz]

Anthony Bourdain was my favourite celeb, I even followed his journey to eat at some of the places from his shows. Also had all his books. Since leaving his family in 2016 for his girlfriend his life seems to have been a struggle for him. I even noticed his appearance had changed too. An interesting insight in people online about her Instagram post she posted a few hours before Tony’s death (since deleted). Must be heart breaking for all those left behind.

 

[Twilight1]

Your place has gyms, leisure lounge, exercise room, library; plus daily activities and group help?! I have never been in a place that had even one of those things. Is your place an expensive private rehab center, the ones that advertise and cater to the rich?

Nope. It is part of a publically funded hospital. Our unit is an acute psychiatric unit that specializes in concurrent disorders. On site clients have access to Psychiatrists, Nurses, Recreation therapists, Occupational Therapist, Nurse Practitioner, Pharmacist, Social Workers, Addiction Workers, emergency Dentist, Physiotherapy, Spiritual Care, Dieticianand Peer Support.

The main goal is to help people address the mental health concerns, addiction issues (if they have them from a harm reduction to abstinence approach), and also work on holistic care outside of traditional psychiatry.

We usually meet with the person and get a sense of their goals for being in hospital and work at helping them get started towards achieving them.

Our programming is based in skill building. Topics can be assertiveness, managing and understanding emotions based in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, understanding and reconnecting to values, self compassion, relapse prevention, understanding crisis and stress, cognitive behaviour based skills etc. It is becoming more Acceptance and Commitment Therapy focused with skill building.

We also encourage physical health and that is why they have access to a gym and exercise room. They get access to that through our recreation therapist.

The main criteria for accessing our unit is meeting the need for a psych admission.

No payment needed. OHIP funded.

 

[quartz]

^^^^^^this is why I don't whine about paying taxes. Some of my American family snigger at me for the high taxes I pay and tell me how our government needs to butt out of people's lives. Then I look at them like this >

 

[puglover]

I know we are one of the lucky ones who have seen major improvements in our daughter's mental health. She recently posted a beautiful synopsis of her battle with mental illness on Facebook that was so insightful and extremely well received. Many comments expressed gratitude for her willingness to share and that hope it provided for others currently facing it. They have found a medication for her that is just a godsend. She has also learned how to live her life with her illness in mind and she has a full and happy life. Just recently I was in the car traveling with our youngest daughter, who saw the worst, and she had a long, lively and hilarious conversation with our eldest daughter. Much healing has taken place for both of them. I never saw my daughter as selfish - but the illness certainly was! I know for the years she was so ill I could not even begin to conceive we would ever reach this point but I did take hope in the stories of recovery I heard. It is such a very isolating disease for all concerned. We did not have to pay for her medical care but did pay large amounts of money for talk therapy which seemed only to blame us as her parents and divide us. We all recognize she is not "cured" but life can still be good. I do, however, understand those who choose an end to this anyway they can.

 

[TheGirlCanSkate]

My friend reminded me that sometimes depression is so deep that she cannot even get out of bed let along think to and manage a phone call to a stranger on a hotline. Her plea was simple "If your friend isn’t the same, you may need to step in without their permission. Stop over with a coffee, call and say “hi,” etc."

My spouse was hospitalized for depression, where he was placed was terrifying. It really was a terrible shock for him and me (he was placed by my medical insurance). Even being married for 25 years, it can be hard for me to understand/appreciate his strength at just waking up every day.