ali, I am late to the party here, but loved all these recent blog posts. I did the same Nile cruise, also at a time when tourism was way down, it was very sobering. Thank you too for sharing about your struggles. Since you are getting into meditation again, you might like an app called Insight Timer. You can use it just as a timer or it also has some guided meditations available. I use it to track my contemplative prayer sessions (more than 200 consecutive days now!) too. It was free when I got my version.