FSU Wedding Snarks

[escaflowne9282]

That is true. Customs to vary. This is, however New York. USA. My opinion (which is simply that) stands.

Well, NY tends to be different in terms of weddings I guess. Everyone gives money and the general rule of thumb is you're supposed to cover the cost of your plate at the reception, and give a gift on top of that. It's not unheard of for people to inquire, directly or indirectly, how much is being spent per head at the reception, or for a member of the wedding party to offer that information

I think there's nothing wrong with asking for a cash gift, it's a matter of finding the most tactful way of doing it.

 

[AxelAnnie]

It makes me sad.

 

[allezfred]

You must live a very sheltered life if that is all it takes to make you sad.

 

[MacMadame]

I think there's nothing wrong with asking for a cash gift, it's a matter of finding the most tactful way of doing it.

Ding, ding, ding!

It's all in how you execute.

 

[jamesy]

So an invite that says "give me money, ****s" is not appropriate?

 

[skatesindreams]

I would put such an "invite" in the circular file!
There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to make such a request.

 

[D&Sfan4ever]

Well, apparently customs vary between people and countries. In Finland it is absolutely the norm to write on the wedding invites that "instead of gifts, you can donate money for our honeymoon + bank account number". Often it's prefaced with a "We do not expect any gifts, but if you wish...". Seven of my friends have got married within the last year and every single one of them asked for money for the honeymoon. It's not considered impolite at all here (well I can't speak for the whole of Finland but definitely among everyone I know). Why would you ask for stuff out of some custom/polite necessity when you don't want any?

In any case, congrats @oleada, wheeeeee! The venue is gorgeous!

In Argentina is the same. From a wedding invitation I just received: "The best gift you can make us is simply coming to our wedding, but if you wish, you can help us with our honeymoon. So and so, bank XXX, account: XXX, ..."

I think the incorporating cultures is a big thing. Wedding in my culture are actually completely nuts (like 300+ people, all night long, way too much money kind of affairs) so mine will actually be quite tame by those standards. I want it to feel like us, and that definitely isn't us. I keep reminding my family/friends that American weddings don't go until 5 am so they know what to expect! My parents are being very generous and the fact that weddings are so insane where we're from has kind of helped Since they're paying for a significant portion, I would like them to be able to invite some friends, the quantity of which is still up for debate

Cash bars are not done here; they weren't even an option in most of the places we visited. They are not done in my culture either. Gifts of money are the most common here, but as I mentioned, we have friends from all over the place. I think I'll definitely put something alone the lines of "we don't expect a gift but if you want to, please give us $$$" on our website and let it spread by word of mouth.

Oh God, here is the same. Long, costly, and huge. Usually weddings include a breakfast, at 7am, before the guests finally go home. Party all night long indeed.

 

[allezfred]

So an invite that says "give me money, ****s" is not appropriate?

Of course not! You need to say "PLEASE give me money, ****s" on the invite. Duh.