I actually agree with this - it's probably cathartic and empowering for Gabriella at this point, but in the long run she may come to feel that some of what she wrote about was too private to share.
I'm torn when it comes to this. I think it can be beneficial to share your experience because it shows others that they're not alone and it might encourage them to act when they would otherwise not because social norms/pressure suggests they shouldn't.
On the other hand, sharing isn't something I'd ever do because I think those are details too private to share.
I hope that she has considered this well and reached the conclusion that to her, the benefits outweight the risks.
And it seems like the people involved would have benefitted from actually communicating (and listening) as the events took place.
From what I've read, that is my impression, too, and for that, I put the blame on the coaches. I think this is something coaches need to look out for and when they realize that partners have a need to communciate, they need to do something about it. (I think what they need to do depends on the skaters. It might be enough if the coach facilitates a talk, some might need a mediator, some might need a therapist.
It looks like partners in sports could benefit from lessons that teach them how to communicate constructively).
From what I understand, what Gabriella discusses in her book goes back to her childhood and teenage years - when Guillaume was still a child/adolescent himself. It is very likely that he was ill-equipped to handle some of the difficulties they faced together and separately, and the dynamics that fostered carried into their senior career.
Considering that he's a gay man from a Catholic country, he may have been struggling with his identity. That may have influenced how he handled communication as well and goes back to what I said above. I think coaches need to keep an eye out for that and they need to mentor their skaters on more than skating.
As for there being two sides to every story, what we have seen so far are reports of Gabby's feelings. Feelings are feelings. They are neither right nor wrong, and if someone feels something, they feel it. There is no other "truth." You can say you wouldn't have felt the same in the same situation, but you can't say she didn't feel what she felt.
Thank you for saying that.
Likewise, it's possible that Cizeron's impression and response are due to the fact that he thinks if the allegations are true, he's a bad person when he believes he's not.
I think what happened is neither her fault nor his, and it doesn't make him a bad person.
However, a denial does invalidate her feelings. Which, I'd say, supports her story.
I know that denial is a tendency we have. My belief is that this is due to being afraid of mistakes ending up defining us, so, we deny them.
I think we would be better served if society taught us that mistakes don't define us but what defines us is what we learn from them and move on from them: do we use them as an opportunity for growth or do we deny and keep going?
Cizeron is not someone who actually yells often. He rarely raises his voice. He barks in icy tones, that, yes. He snaps. He has dismissive moves. He rolls his eyes. He sighs. He is good at being passive agressive.
As has been mentioned, that can do a lot of harm, too. Not just because it's difficult to respond and can't be witnessed but because dismissiveness invalidates how the other person feels.
I heard a podcast from a trauma specialist a couple of months ago. He said when words repeatedly pose a threat to our existence, they can cause trauma, too. So, if someone repeatedly suggests with passive-aggressiveness that someone else is worthless, it has the potential to cause that person trauma.
Again, I don't think any of that makes Cizeron a bad person but rather someone who had his own struggles, and didn't get the support he should have gotten himself.
Not that Amazon rankings mean much, but the book is currently ranked number 1 in the "Biographies, Diaries & True Accounts in French" on amazon.com.
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Not saying that to you Mac, but for weeks now, I've been told that Cizeron was a saint, Mr Perfect who I didn't know one bit and that I was to be sent to the funny farm along with Gabriella.
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