Athlete Mental Health & Eating Disorders - a news & discussion thread

[overedge]

As much as I applaud this seemingly new found openness around sensitive topics like eating disorders and sport, in particular, skating, I remain unconvinced it will make much difference, at least at the elite levels. Now, more than ever, the ideal body type for being competitive internationally for ladies is a very slim, tiny body.

Not to mention a points system that favours things that are easier (or only possible) to do with a tiny slim body.

 

[Sylvia]

KUDOS to Switzerland's 2020 Youth Olympian figure skater Anaïs Coraducci, 18, for sharing her battle against anorexia story with photos on World Eating Disorders Action Day yesterday (June 2): https://www.instagram.com/p/CPmznwnpPz0/

 

[Orm Irian]

KUDOS to Switzerland's 2020 Youth Olympian figure skater Anaïs Coraducci, 18, for sharing her battle against anorexia story with photos on World Eating Disorders Action Day yesterday (June 2): https://www.instagram.com/p/CPmznwnpPz0/

Poor kid. I wondered why she didn't compete last year and had taken herself out of consideration for the national team this year - I thought she might have been injured. She's a brave girl and I'm very glad she's willing to do what's best to take care of herself.

 

[Sylvia]

Polina Edmunds' recent podcasts relevant to this thread include:

Mary Beth Marley:

Pairs!!! Choosing Health and Happiness (ft. Mary Beth Marley)

On this episode I talk to 2012 US Pairs Silver Medalist Mary Beth Marley. We discuss her quick transition into pair skating from singles, her fast success and the stressful expectations with that — leading to her ultimate decision to step way from the sport. We touch on her eating disorder, and...

art19.com

On this episode I talk to 2012 US Pairs Silver Medalist Mary Beth Marley. We discuss her quick transition into pair skating from singles, her fast success and the stressful expectations with that — leading to her ultimate decision to step way from the sport. We touch on her eating disorder, and talk about the lessons learned from skating in managing stress and trusting life’s direction. She shares her experiences dealing with retirement: how going to school helped her feel a sense of structure in her day to day life again, and how coaching brought her back into the sport in a healthier way. We cover coaching, the stigma of going from singles to pairs, and her advice to girls who are interested in trying pairs!

Thailand's Thita Lansam:

Mental Health Story from Thai Champion (Thita Lamsam)

*Trigger Warning* Depression and Suicide awareness I talk to 4-time Thai Champion Thita "Palmy" Lamsam about what it's like being a competitive international skater representing a small country. We also discuss mental health on this episode: Palmy shares her personal story of mental heath...

art19.com

Trigger Warning Depression and Suicide awareness

I talk to 4-time Thai Champion Thita "Palmy" Lamsam about what it's like being a competitive international skater representing a small country. We also discuss mental health on this episode: Palmy shares her personal story of mental heath struggles with depression, anxiety, and eating disorder all while growing up in skating, going to college in the US at MSU after turning 18, and gaining help and perspective along the way. She shares her inspiration in Hannah Miller, who she looked up to at MSU, and Palmy's aspirations in Psychology moving forward.

Aimie Epoch: "her informative instagram account is @nowbodywellness, and she’s a certified intuitive eating counselor and health & wellness coach":

Skating Eating Disorders & Healthy Coaching (ft. Aimie Epoch)

I interview Aimie Epoch: Her informative instagram account is @nowbodywellness, and she’s a certified intuitive eating counselor and health & wellness coach! We chat positive coaching environments, injury support from your team, how to help skaters with negative trains of thought, techniques...

art19.com

We chat positive coaching environments, injury support from your team, how to help skaters with negative trains of thought, techniques to overcome fears with learning new jumps, and perfectionism.
We also talk Eating Disorders: What to look for in eating disorders, what other things impact skating, why you should listen to your hunger, amenorrhea, accepting a new body in puberty, benefits of intuitive eating + food satisfaction, eating disorders in men, what coaches/parents can do if they suspect an athlete is struggling with an eating disorder, approaching athletes on disordered eating, and self-compassion in athletes.

Hannah Miller:

Dreams, Relocation, & Body Image (feat. Hannah Miller)

I talk to International Medalist Hannah Miller about her skating experiences: An athletic and artistic skater, she was Novice Champion with a lot of promise, and decided to relocate for skating after turning 18 -- she moved to LA to train with coach Rafael Arutyunyan in the hopes of improving...

art19.com

I talk to International Medalist Hannah Miller about her skating experiences: An athletic and artistic skater, she was Novice Champion with a lot of promise, and decided to relocate for skating after turning 18 -- she moved to LA to train with coach Rafael Arutyunyan in the hopes of improving her technique and progressing her skating. We discuss her experience in LA regarding training, environment, social life, support system, and her eventual decision to move back home. Now obtaining her master's degree in Sports Psychology, she shares her story of struggles with body image and other mental issues stemmed from skating, dismantling that and learning to accept yourself, and advice to young skaters as well as retired ones.

 

[B.Cooper]

Cross posted this TIME magazine article in the US Women's discussion thread... that has come out in the last week in conjunction with the Olympics

"How Olympians Are Fighting to Put Athletes' Mental Health First"

How Olympians Are Fighting to Put Athletes' Mental Health First

"Athletes are not perfect, flawless gods"

time.com

perhaps this will provide additional insight to the stressors that contribute to changes in mental health and well being

 

[Garden Kitty]

Velonews article about the impact cyclist Kelly Catlin's suicide had on her parents and how mental health has become a major discussion during these Olympics.

 

[Sylvia]

"Body Love" by Mary Lambert (a queer singer-songwriter-poet) performed by Amber Glenn, filmed by OIP's Jordan Cowan at the Galleria Dallas ice rink: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CTh2G78n_Fh/

 

[MacMadame]

"Body Love" by Mary Lambert (a queer singer-songwriter-poet) performed by Amber Glenn, filmed by OIP's Jordan Cowan at the Galleria Dallas ice rink: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CTh2G78n_Fh/

Love Mary Lambert. She's collaborated with Macklemore for those who aren't familiar. But has a lot of good stuff without him too.

 

[Sylvia]

Thought I should re-post @shutterbug's article link in this thread as well (includes Kirsten Moore-Towers' story):

A troubling number of Canadian Olympians are bingeing, purging and starving themselves. Inside the eating-disorder problem in elite amateur sports

Researchers say eating disorders are an underdiagnosed problem among athletes. The Globe and Mail examines its root causes - from a fear of failure, to questionable coaching methods, to a toxic culture that enables it

www.theglobeandmail.com

Excerpts:

Moore-Towers sought treatment, working with a nutritionist and psychologist, retraining her brain to eat three meals and three snacks a day. Sometimes that felt impossible; the disorder was in control. She struggled at times to swallow a single raspberry.
The problem is never fully vanquished. When training shut down during the pandemic, the compulsion to limit her eating returned. Further counselling helped Moore-Towers through it.
“It’s important that we understand we need to change the course of where this is going, because this can have lasting damage on athletes. Certainly for me, it affects the way I live my life every day, and likely will for the rest of my life,” she said.
“It’s a bigger problem than most people are aware of.”

Now vying for Beijing 2022, one of her biggest regrets is not being a better role model for younger skaters. She remembers sitting in change rooms with impressionable athletes nearby, talking about the things she couldn’t eat as a top skater.
“It only takes one time, where somebody impressionable can hear something that can spark a new way of thinking for them, which can be truly catastrophic,” she said.

 

[Mayra]

Now vying for Beijing 2022, one of her biggest regrets is not being a better role model for younger skaters. She remembers sitting in change rooms with impressionable athletes nearby, talking about the things she couldn’t eat as a top skater.
“It only takes one time, where somebody impressionable can hear something that can spark a new way of thinking for them, which can be truly catastrophic,” she said.

Its never too late to make a positive impact in someone's life. I hope she knows that by speaking out on her own experiences, she might be helping out an impressionable young athlete right now going through their own mental and physical struggles.

 

[Sylvia]

For those who may have missed it, Kirsten M-T participated in this project in 2020:

TSN's 12-minute original feature titled DISORDER can be watched here with Kirsten Moore-Towers, Rachael Flatt & runner Yuki Hebner (Julie Marcotte also appears):

TSN Original: Disorder

The pressure to succeed in sport can be overwhelming. Glory may follow success but the pursuit can also manifest serious and lasting damage in athletes. An e...

www.youtube.com

Kirsten also participated in a very good conversation afterwards on FB: https://www.facebook.com/178835736054/videos/1340555496114995

 

[Sylvia]

Re-posting @LilJen's questionnaire in this relevant thread (thank you!):

During my short time training and working as a mental health therapist, I was taught a short screening questionnaire, the SCOFF (for Sick, Control, One stone, Fat, Food), developed in the UK. Asks about five areas that may point to a clinical disorder. I feel that everyone should know it. Link: https://www.verywellmind.com/the-scoff-questionnaire-1138316

Back in September, Gracie Gold shared the link to a podcast interview she did as part of a paid partnership: https://www.instagram.com/p/CUFwOPglcsq/

The word “strong” doesn’t only apply in the physical sense. The world of elite athletes has always been geared towards having strong bodies, but less so having strong minds. I love the conversations we are starting to have about mental health, and especially mental health in athletics.
I recently sat down with @MuscleTech's new podcast to discuss all of this. With mental health at the forefront in sports right now, it's important to discuss acceptance and advocacy when it comes to supporting our athletes, including myself. Please listen.

Link (click on one of the icons for your platform of choice):

Hope, Growth, and Mental Health with Gracie Gold | MuscleTech

For this week’s episode, Jay is joined by Olympic figure skater Gracie Gold. She discusses the importance of mental health for an athlete when they are competing on the world stage. With mental health at the forefront in sports right now, she talks about the importance of acceptance and advocacy...

www.muscletech.com

For this week's episode, Jay is joined by Olympic figure skater Gracie Gold. She discusses the importance of mental health for an athlete when they are competing on the world stage. With mental health at the forefront in sports right now, she talks about the importance of acceptance and advocacy when it comes to supporting our athletes. They also took a look back at her Olympic career from her successes, failures, and injuries.

 

[Sylvia]

Relevant excerpt from an article on Kaitlyn Weaver (link is also posted in the LGBQT+ in figure skating thread): https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2...as-so-much-more-to-me-than-i-was-able-to-show

“When we’re faced with a global pandemic and hundreds of thousands of people are dying, I didn’t want to consider the skating side of myself as important anymore,” Weaver explains. “At the same time, it was like, ‘Well, if I don’t have my identity as a skater, if I’m not winning medals, then really what value do I have as a person?’” That’s when she realized she needed to talk to somebody.
The conversation around the mental health of athletes is still fresh, so it wasn’t until she retired from competition that Weaver got a therapist. As an athlete, she was taught to just push through the pain and while that discipline has served her well in many areas of life, Weaver acknowledges that should not be one’s approach to mental wellbeing. “I was feeling ongoing effects of depression. As soon as I started talking with a therapist, it all just came pouring out.”

 

[Sylvia]

Figure skating age debate also exposes body image challenges by Sally Ho (Feb. 20):

Figure skating age debate also exposes body image challenges

Some figure skaters are hoping an Olympic doping scandal that is fueling a push to raise the minimum age of competitors will also focus attention on what they see as the sport’s most pressing issue: body image, body shaming and disordered eating.

apnews.com

“We see girls who are really young and thin and who do really well in our sport,” said Josefin Taljegård, a 26-year-old Swedish figure skater who competed in the women’s individual event in Beijing. “Maybe that’s why they’re so skinny – because they’re still children.”
That puts pressure on older skaters to keep pace.
“It usually is not like ‘Oh you have to look this kind of way’ but sometimes one can hear ’Oh if you were skinnier, you would jump higher or rotate faster,” Taljegård said.

U.S. ice dancer Kaitlin Hawayek, 25, said she had an eating disorder for several years. Not enough has been done to educate young skaters to see “their body is great exactly the way it is,” she said.
Hawayek feels fortunate to have the support of her coaching staff, nutritionist and trainers on the U.S. team. “I’ve really been able to see a new mindset that has allowed me to embrace my body,” she said.

U.S. figure skater Alysa Liu, who is just 16, said she found a way to cope with negative comments about her body, but it took time for her to truly understand the dynamic she was being caught up in. The American prodigy placed in the top 10 for the women’s individual event this week.
“I dealt with a lot of negativity, like two years ago,” Liu said of the many critics who have commented on her very public growth spurt. “At one point, I was like, why are they literally coming for a 14 year old? That’s so weird. They’re just kind of creepy for that. Why are they looking at a minor’s body that way? It’s just a little weird and kind of wrong, obviously.”

 

[Sylvia]

Figure Skating Is A Lonely Sport. So Jason Brown Built A Community To Make It To Beijing.
7-minute VIDEO by Michael Tabb and Meghan McDonough (Feb. 7):

Figure Skating Is A Lonely Sport. So Jason Brown Built A Community To Make It To Beijing.

Figure skating can be a lonely sport, and some athletes feel as though they have to struggle alone. That’s how Jason Brown felt when he missed his chance to go …

fivethirtyeight.com

Figure skating can be a lonely sport, and some athletes feel as though they have to struggle alone. That’s how Jason Brown felt when he missed his chance to go to the 2018 Olympic Games. After hitting “rock bottom,” Brown took a big step: He restructured his whole community to help him make it to the 2022 Olympics in Beijing. In this episode of “The Mental Games,” we explore how an intentional, supportive community helps elite athletes — not to mention the rest of us — achieve the most ambitious goals.

Thanks to @Impromptu for the heads up:

The video is well worth watching - it's part of their "Mental Games" series, and as much about Caroline Silby, the USFSA Sports psychologist (who works with Jason and others) as it is about Jason. If you're at all interested in the science of competitive wellness, the video is fantastic.

 

[overedge]

Quote from the AP story @Sylvia posted above:

U.S. ice dancer Kaitlin Hawayek, 25, said she had an eating disorder for several years. Not enough has been done to educate young skaters to see “their body is great exactly the way it is,” she said.

On one hand, I agree with Kaitlin. On the other hand, maybe it's not the skaters who need the educating about healthy body types. We all know there are coaches, judges, and officials who tell skaters that they are "too fat" when they're not, and who make similar comments that make skaters feel bad about their bodies. Where are the programs to educate those adults, who have a lot of power in the sport, and power over skaters' careers? Putting the responsibility for education on the skaters is ignoring the causes of why these skaters feel bad about themselves.

One of the highlights of the Olympics for me was seeing Natalie Taschlerova in the ice dance - an ice dancer who had curves and a grownup body. It says something about the unrealistic body norms in the sport that she stands out so much.

 

[Sylvia]

On one hand, I agree with Kaitlin. On the other hand, maybe it's not the skaters who need the educating about healthy body types. We all know there are coaches, judges, and officials who tell skaters that they are "too fat" when they're not, and who make similar comments that make skaters feel bad about their bodies. Where are the programs to educate those adults, who have a lot of power in the sport, and power over skaters' careers?

My impression is that the "younger" generation of judges/officials (particularly the competitors who have retired more recently) are likely to be more enlightened on this topic. Or at least I hope so.

 

[Sylvia]

Ryan Dunk posted this today for National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (February 21-27): https://www.instagram.com/p/CaVa0u9voRK/


It is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week @neda and as many of you know, eating disorders are incredibly common in the sport of figure skating. My own struggles started when I became badly injured right before my first senior nationals a little over 2 years ago. One of my coaches at the time stressed to me that I needed to do “extra cardio” since I wasn’t skating as much as I was before I got injured. I started to become hyper aware of what my body looked like and extremely anxious that I would lose my jumps if I got ‘fat.’ I would try to go all day without eating anything. I’d be so hungry at night/the end of the week that I would inevitably end up bingeing on goldfish, cliff bars, literally peanut butter at one point … pretty much anything that I could haul into my room. I feel so incredibly lucky that I was able to relatively quickly break out of these habits and negative thought patterns during the initial quarantine that started in March 2020. I now have a healthy relationship with food and my body image, but I know of countless skaters who are struggling with severe eating disorders, including anorexia and bulimia nervosa. Eating disorders are largely under-addressed DESPITE having the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness, oftentimes coming with other comorbidities like anxiety or depression. As I am now studying psychology in college and planning to pursue a future career in research, I would want nothing more for the sport I love to become less TOXIC when it comes to body image and weight. I also know that eating disorders extend FAR past the realm of skating, as 9% of the U.S. population will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. 10,200 deaths result every year from an eating disorder - that’s 1 death every 52 minutes. The list of adverse consequences goes on and on and on … If you are struggling with an eating disorder and trying to get better, I want you to know that I am so proud of you! You are a fighter and I believe in you with all my heart(more to come on this soon…)

 

[B.Cooper]

Rachael Flatt continues her work on eating disorders in elite athletes.

Considerations for Athletes with Eating Disorders based on Levels of Care

Considerations for Athletes with Eating Disorders Based on Levels of Care - PubMed

This article provides an overview of levels of care for eating disorders (EDs) and considerations that are specific to elite athletes. We discuss the following levels of care in terms of ED pathology and treatment aspects that may be unique to athletes: 1) inpatient and residential care, 2)...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[Debbie S]

Ryan Dunk, 2019 U.S. Junior Men's champion and 9th in Senior at this year's Nats, has written an op-ed about weight-loss supplements and eating disorders, supporting legislation in MA to ban the sale of supplements to minors: https://commonwealthmagazine.org/health-care/eating-disorders-are-ravaging-young-people/

 

[Sylvia]

IG Live on 7 pm ET tonight (March 17) - Kelly Rippon & Dr. Jenny Conviser will “chat about rituals and superstitions in sports”: https://www.instagram.com/p/CbL0uzeLFwa/

ETA link to the replay video (just under one hour): https://www.instagram.com/tv/CbOXarjlkzj/

 

[overedge]

Ryan Dunk, 2019 U.S. Junior Men's champion and 9th in Senior at this year's Nats, has written an op-ed about weight-loss supplements and eating disorders, supporting legislation in MA to ban the sale of supplements to minors: https://commonwealthmagazine.org/health-care/eating-disorders-are-ravaging-young-people/

I wish that USFS and NBC would look at stories like this and reconsider their relationship with Noom. I don't see them listed as an official sponsor on the USFS webpage any more, which is good, but I saw lots of Noom ads during the Olympics broadcasts.

 

[Debbie S]

Also posted in the U.S. Men's thread:

Ryan Dunk addresses eating disorder and injury/training issues in this article in his school's (Suffolk University) newspaper: https://thesuffolkjournal.com/38022...olk-senior-reflects-on-figure-skating-career/

“There’s been a lot of misinformation. I’ve had coaches who didn’t want me to do strength training because it would make me ‘bulky’, said Dunk. “I’ve had coaches tell me to not drink that much water. All sorts of things that aren’t scientifically accurate.”
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, “roughly 33% of male athletes in weight class sports (wrestling, rowing) or aesthetic sports (bodybuilding, gymnastics, swimming) are affected by eating disorders.”
“It’s definitely an open secret that it feels like no one wants to address,” said Dunk.

He also announces his retirement from competitive skating, but will continue to stay involved in the sport through choreo and coaching. He will skate in Evening With Champions this weekend.

 

[clairecloutier]

This article doesn't pertain to eating disorders, but more to athlete mental health.

It discusses the use of intimacy coordinators or coaches in the ballet world to assist dancers in dealing with specific holds, lifts, positions, or storylines that may be uncomfortable. I can't see how this couldn't be useful in skating, too.

Bringing Consent to Ballet, One Intimacy Workshop at a Time

Touch is a requirement of a dancer’s job. Now when choreography involves simulated sex or violence, some companies are bringing in intimacy directors.

www.nytimes.com

 

[Orm Irian]

Mae-Berenice Meite has just published a vlog discussing her experience of body dysmorphia and eating disorders over the course of her career. She's very good at unpicking just how unconsidered a lot of the practices around weight and body shape are in the figure skating world due to lack of coach education, and how insidious and damaging a lot of the judgment behaviours directed at skaters are.

 

[bladesofgorey]

Mae-Berenice Meite has just published a vlog discussing her experience of body dysmorphia and eating disorders over the course of her career. She's very good at unpicking just how unconsidered a lot of the practices around weight and body shape are in the figure skating world due to lack of coach education, and how insidious and damaging a lot of the judgment behaviours directed at skaters are.

this is VERY good.

 

[MacMadame]

Mae-Berenice Meite has just published a vlog discussing her experience of body dysmorphia and eating disorders over the course of her career. She's very good at unpicking just how unconsidered a lot of the practices around weight and body shape are in the figure skating world due to lack of coach education, and how insidious and damaging a lot of the judgment behaviours directed at skaters are.

That was great! And I can't believe how articulate she is in a foreign language. I could never do that.

She is absolutely correct that what matters is body composition and learning about nutrition. I hope lots of athletes watch this and get that message.

 

[Sylvia]

People article on Karen Chen (May 25):

Olympian Karen Chen Says Mental Health Struggles Made Figure Skating 'Hard to Enjoy'

Olympic silver medalist Karen Chen tells PEOPLE that she previously thought she would be seen as weak if she discussed her struggles with anxiety

people.com

"It has been hard. I always felt that athletes are viewed as being the strongest both physically and mentally. That idea has really made it hard for me to prioritize my mental health," Chen explains, adding that social media also provides "so much unnecessary and distracting noise" that can impact her mental wellness.
Chen's perspective didn't change "until I realized how strong one had to be to be brave and open up about these topics." She adds, "I find it so interesting how mental and physical health are treated so differently."
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, the Finding The Edge: My Life on the Ice author is hosting an Emotional Fitness talk on June 1 at her alma mater, Connections Academy, where she'll share her personal journey with anxiety.

Mental Health: Let's Talk About It with Connections Academy

experience.connectionsacademy.com

 

[Sylvia]

BBC article on British skaters Emily Hayward, now 24 who has since returned to competitive skating (she appeared in BBC Three’s documentary series Freeze) and Harry Mattick (April 10):

Eating disorders: The darker side of figure skating

Eating disorders: The darker side of figure skating

www.bbc.co.uk

British Ice Skating told BBC Three they are committed to ensuring the sport is a place that every participant can enjoy without any form of discrimination, bullying or body image pressures.
They added: "One key tool in tackling body image pressures and eating disorders in ice skating is education.
"We require all coaches to complete continuing professional development sessions in order to be accredited to the organisation.
"These sessions cover a wide range of topics to enable them to support the skaters they are working with, including nutrition and identifying eating disorders."
They encourage any skater that has experienced pressures regarding body image to raise their concerns to them.

Mattick's coach in the U.S. for 3 years was likely Igor Novodran who died in a small plane crash in 2014: https://www.wtae.com/article/skatin...crash-at-washington-county-airport-1/7465344#

There's a related discussion about Elizaveta Nugumanova ongoing in the Russian women's thread, starting with this interview she gave recently: https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/th...es-2021-22-season.108563/page-94#post-6261505

 

[Sylvia]

Gracie Gold recounted an interesting story (2nd & 3rd quoted parts below) earlier this month when she was helping to promote the Ice Dreams tour: https://thespun.com/more/interviews...-gracie-gold-on-ice-dreams-mental-health-more
Relevant excerpts:

It's just not really talked about that you could have a mental health crisis and be successful. A lot of times, it's met with people asking what you have to be depressed or anxious about. … I love the conversation that we're having amongst Olympians and Olympic athletes. Mental health in general is something that the world previously just didn't understand or was not very accepting of. I think that we're making big strides. I think we've come a long way but we still have pretty far to go in terms of just getting resources to athletes and coaches, making it accessible and continuing to push that it could just be a normal part of the conversation. Olympians can get the greatest physical care that they can get us, but when it comes to mental health, getting the resources to the athletes is really the next big step.

When I broke my foot in the fall of 2015, I had a bone stimulator mailed to my house. I don't even know where you can get those. I don't think that if I was a regular person and I didn't have nationals coming up that that would have been something so accessible to me, and it was done for me. I had an appointment to see the best orthopedist, who was in San Diego, to get treatment. All of that was done for me. Those are not very common things. To have a bone stimulator shipped to your home is to me an example of going above and beyond.

When it comes to mental health, it seems sometimes like we're just left with 'Oh sorry, good luck with that. Hope you get help.' It's really left to the athletes or coaches or parents to find those resources to help. I just think that with the power that the USOC has and the various NGBs have, I want the mental health version of a bone stimulator shipped to my home when I'm in crisis and we have big events coming up.

Q: For you, what sort of wellness steps do you take for your own mental health to stay focused or make sure you're in a good headspace.

For me, just having a really good support group. What I mean by that is, a support group that is not afraid to check in with me honestly. Someone that is like 'I'm seeing some of these behaviors, and it looks like a red flag. What's going on?' I sometimes find that people struggling with mental health, it's sometimes hard for us to do things for ourselves but it's a little bit easier for us to do things for other people. Making commitments that involve other--I may not go out for a run or go to the gym, but if I promised my friend who just had a baby that I would go with her, I'll put my tennis shoes on and go. I also have a cat that I have to be up early for and pay attention to and care for. Tethering myself and reality to other people helps.