Olympian Guillaume Cizeron comes out by introducing us to his adorable boyfreind

[caseyedwards]

I don’t agree the boyfriend is adorable. Maybe the picture is

 

[tony]

I don’t agree the boyfriend is adorable. Maybe the picture is

Good thing he didn't ask!

 

[Carolla5501]

You care so little that you felt the need to post about it? In case anyone is wondering, me. I care about a gay athlete coming out and telling us who his partner is, because when I was younger there were barely any gay role models or people to look up to, or to be able to point to as also being gay when you go through your own coming out process.

If it isn't important to you, scroll on by and make no comment. It will be important to others.

So I guess a world where sexual orientation doesn't influence how you feel about someone is not your goal???

How sad that I am attacked because "who you sleep with" makes no difference in how I feel about someone.

The fact that you are gay doesn't matter, but the fact that you feel the need to attack someone who says "your sexual orientation doesn't change how I feel" says a lot about you!

 

[antmanb]

So I guess a world where sexual orientation doesn't influence how you feel about someone is not your goal???

How sad that I am attacked because "who you sleep with" makes no difference in how I feel about someone.

The fact that you are gay doesn't matter, but the fact that you feel the need to attack someone who says "your sexual orientation doesn't change how I feel" says a lot about you!

First of all I didn't attack you I answered the question that you asked:

Am I the only person who could care less about the "partner" of a skater

And I explained the reason why I do care. I also pointed out the fact I'm gay because my opinion about how my community is discussed is far more important than the opinion of someone outside that community. And someone who is outside that community should listen to those within the community if they want to be an ally.

Because you seemingly can't even see how wrong your response to me is, I will now happily attack you - your response is so staggeringly ignorant - and your attempt to silence me just because sexual orientation doesn't matter to you is exactly the same as someone saying they are "colourblind" when it comes to race.

Educate yourself more in future to not make such an idiot of yourself again.

 

[allezfred]

"I could care less (sic) about someone's sexual orientation" is right up there with "I don't see skin colour" in trying to erase the real and lived experiences of minorities. I know that a lot of the time it comes from a well-meaning place, but think about what you are saying before you say things like it.

 

[Sylvia]

Javier Raya's SkateProud Chat with Guillaume Cizeron yesterday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2zZP8tKQjs

 

[Mad for Skating]

"I could care less (sic) about someone's sexual orientation" is right up there with "I don't see skin colour" in trying to erase the real and lived experiences of minorities. I know that a lot of the time it comes from a well-meaning place, but think about what you are saying before you say things like it.

Exactly!
I want to say a few words here on the subject, since I am both a person of color (Asian American) and a member of the LGBTQ+ community (bisexual). While I fortunately haven’t experienced intense discrimination, I have always experienced life a bit differently because I am not white or straight. For example, I rarely saw any Asian or LGBTQ+ characters in major movies, so I struggled to relate to the characters my friends loved. It was subtle, but it always made me feel odd.

First of all, I don’t think people are intentionally trying to insult me when they say “I don’t see color” or “I don’t care who you’re attracted to”. However, it feels like they’re invalidating my unique struggles because they’re treating me like I’m white and straight (and therefore had the privilege to grow up seeing people on TV who looked and felt like me). I know it’s nothing personal, but I still don’t like it. I’d rather hear them say something like, “I see your color and I think that’s cool”.

Also, many POC and LGBTQ+ people have unfortunately faced much greater hardships than I have, so I think this discussion is even more important for them. Straight people don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of their parents’ house because they have discovered they feel attracted to someone, and white people don’t have to worry about getting called slurs. Until we can achieve a world where everyone is treated fairly regardless of gender, race, or identity, we need to acknowledge the struggles minorities face.

 

[tony]

Beautifully put, @Mad for Skating

People tend to forget that people who are so visible (even World Champion figure skaters) are role models for so many kids-- kids that may be experiencing their own doubts about themselves or feeling like something 'isn't right' because of the environment they live in or they world they believe to be 'normal'.

I know the tendency these days is to say 'Okay big deal' like it's so easy for everyone to just be out and proud in 2020 and that's just not the case. I saw when some news outlets picked up Amber Glenn's story, there were people in the comments sections bitching about religion or how they don't care about an athlete's personal life so they don't need to know any of this information. No one was making them read it and/or comment. But it just goes back to some people being incapable of stepping into anyone else's shoes.

 

[Lemonade20]

Beautifully put, @Mad for Skating

People tend to forget that people who are so visible (even World Champion figure skaters) are role models for so many kids-- kids that may be experiencing their own doubts about themselves or feeling like something 'isn't right' because of the environment they live in or they world they believe to be 'normal'.

I know the tendency these days is to say 'Okay big deal' like it's so easy for everyone to just be out and proud in 2020 and that's just not the case. I saw when some news outlets picked up Amber Glenn's story, there were people in the comments sections bitching about religion or how they don't care about an athlete's personal life so they don't need to know any of this information. No one was making them read it and/or comment. But it just goes back to some people being incapable of stepping into anyone else's shoes.

So true!!! We keep forgetting that they are only human too.

 

[Brenda_Bottems]

While I take no issue with the homosexual lifestyle,I find it somewhat unsettling Mr. Cizeron and his partner look like siblings.

^^^ Again, The day drinking!

Do you ever drink in the evening, dear?

-BB

 

[ioana]

Straight people don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of their parents’ house because they have discovered they feel attracted to someone, and white people don’t have to worry about getting called slurs.

To be completely fair, it's the non-immigrant white people who are least likely to get called slurs. I went to high school in the Midwest and got told to go back where I came from complete with Western movie audition posturing. I was also told not ask questions in English class because of my 'foreign scum' accent. Am sure that's nothing compared to what POC's or someone who's in the LGBTQ community would experience. Ignorance and prejudice go after anything different and the more obvious that difference is, the worse things are.

Hopefully we can all learn and get to a better place on this in the future. Think you brought up some very good points about how to acknowledge differences that applied to you and turn them into an inclusive statement instead of glossing over them.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

Do you ever drink in the evening, dear?

-BB

I like to be out of it by 5 PM

 

[Vagabond]

While I take no issue with the homosexual lifestyle,I find it somewhat unsettling Mr. Cizeron and his partner look like siblings.



Do you ever drink in the evening, dear?

-BB

I hate to break it to you, but you aren't nearly so amusing or endearing as Ivana Komova. Or esta, for that matter.

 

[Aerobicidal]

As the person responsible for Ivana Komova, I would be proud to be able to take credit for Brenda Bottems OR esta. But, sadly, I can't.

 

[Brenda_Bottems]

I hate to break it to you, but you aren't nearly so amusing or endearing as Ivana Komova. Or esta, for that matter.

Coming from one of the forum's most reductive posters,this is a compliment.

-BB

 

[Mad for Skating]

Beautifully put, @Mad for Skating

People tend to forget that people who are so visible (even World Champion figure skaters) are role models for so many kids-- kids that may be experiencing their own doubts about themselves or feeling like something 'isn't right' because of the environment they live in or they world they believe to be 'normal'.

I know the tendency these days is to say 'Okay big deal' like it's so easy for everyone to just be out and proud in 2020 and that's just not the case. I saw when some news outlets picked up Amber Glenn's story, there were people in the comments sections bitching about religion or how they don't care about an athlete's personal life so they don't need to know any of this information. No one was making them read it and/or comment. But it just goes back to some people being incapable of stepping into anyone else's shoes.

Exactly! Well said, @Tony Wheeler!
In fact, I'm glad you mentioned Amber Glenn because she is the perfect example of the visible role model I wish I had when I was younger. I think we forget how few openly LGBTQ+ women there are in figure skating. I remember when Karina Manta came out, it was so significant to me because at the time, I was debating about whether to come out. Her bravery to tell her story gave me the courage to tell mine. I was already out when Amber came out, but it makes me feel so proud to see a girl like me out there. It might seem silly, but for me, these LGBTQ+ skaters are still my biggest inspiration in the sport.

To be completely fair, it's the non-immigrant white people who are least likely to get called slurs. I went to high school in the Midwest and got told to go back where I came from complete with Western movie audition posturing. I was also told not ask questions in English class because of my 'foreign scum' accent. Am sure that's nothing compared to what POC's or someone who's in the LGBTQ community would experience. Ignorance and prejudice go after anything different and the more obvious that difference is, the worse things are.

Hopefully we can all learn and get to a better place on this in the future. Think you brought up some very good points about how to acknowledge differences that applied to you and turn them into an inclusive statement instead of glossing over them.

I'm so sorry for your experience in high school and I apologize for overlooking the discrimination against white immigrants. Thank you for bringing this to my attention; I will be sure to use more inclusive language in the future!

 

[Aussie Willy]

I feel a bit awkward saying what I am going to say as I think anytime a straight person makes a comment in these discussions it can come across as patronising. But here goes.

I think the thing about saying "I don't care that you are LGBTQI" is actually not to dismiss a person's sexuality or someone's rights or who they are but to say that I will treat you how I want to be treated. It doesn't bother me nor do I have any right to judge you.

I would hate people judging me on my private life or who I am which thankfully I don't have to experience. So I don't do it to others. Unless what you do impacts on me (like having a party to 5 in morning which keeps me awake), who really does that affect.

Many years ago I had a friend who I was the first person he could come out. That made me feel great that he knew that he could tell me that and knew I was not going to judge him. And he said that I know you wouldn't care I am, you just treat me as a friend. After that he invited me to the best parties and his circle of friends were a hoot. Maybe their sexuality had something to do with it, but they were fun times in my life. The funniest moment was at his 21st birthday when there was a very beautiful Asian woman dancing in our group and he said "Did you know that was Eric?".

When we had the same sex marriage vote a couple of years ago here in Australia, it made me furious that the stupid Christian lobby and certain right wing politicians were saying some terrible things. If anyone asked me how I was going to vote I told them "What do you think?" and then proceeded to berate them if they thought otherwise because for the life of me why should they give a sh*t about what other people do when it comes to love and identity. At the end of the day it was a real contradiction that how dare the majority make a decision to impact the minority. But otherwise if the country hadn't banded together to vote in favour, then the country would have had to wait for years for it come into law.

Now the Religious Discrimination Bill is being thrashed out. Introduced as a promise to the churches after the SSM vote, it does allow religions to discriminate against LGBTQI people but could also impact on women and other minorities based on someone's beliefs.

So I hope that all makes sense. I don't think it shows you really don't care. You are just not bothered by it and accept it as normality. But when there does need to be the good fight, we are right behind you.

 

[tony]

I feel a bit awkward saying what I am going to say as I think anytime a straight person makes a comment in these discussions it can come across as patronising. But here goes.

I think the thing about saying "I don't care that you are LGBTQI" is actually not to dismiss a person's sexuality or someone's rights or who they are but to say that I will treat you how I want to be treated. It doesn't bother me nor do I have any right to judge you.

...

So I hope that all makes sense. I don't think it shows you really don't care. You are just not bothered by it and accept it as normality. But when there does need to be the good fight, we are right behind you.

I think there's a big difference between telling someone 'It doesn't matter whether you're straight or gay, I still love you and you should always be yourself' and someone obviously being bothered by it and generally saying 'Why do we need to know that you're gay?!? I don't need to read about that!!!!' They are bothered by that specific component. Do you see people freaking out over someone saying 'I'm a Leo!'?

And coming out and sharing stories of the journey can only be beneficial to those who are unsure of themselves. Kids probably still don't grow up thinking it's something normal. You as one person can say none of that matters, but you're risking them believing that everyone is treated equally... until they see that it's not at all how the world works. Or they have friends that stop being friends with them and start calling them names, etc.

 

[Mad for Skating]

I feel a bit awkward saying what I am going to say as I think anytime a straight person makes a comment in these discussions it can come across as patronising. But here goes.

I think the thing about saying "I don't care that you are LGBTQI" is actually not to dismiss a person's sexuality or someone's rights or who they are but to say that I will treat you how I want to be treated. It doesn't bother me nor do I have any right to judge you.

I would hate people judging me on my private life or who I am which thankfully I don't have to experience. So I don't do it to others. Unless what you do impacts on me (like having a party to 5 in morning which keeps me awake), who really does that affect.

Many years ago I had a friend who I was the first person he could come out. That made me feel great that he knew that he could tell me that and knew I was not going to judge him. And he said that I know you wouldn't care I am, you just treat me as a friend. After that he invited me to the best parties and his circle of friends were a hoot. Maybe their sexuality had something to do with it, but they were fun times in my life. The funniest moment was at his 21st birthday when there was a very beautiful Asian woman dancing in our group and he said "Did you know that was Eric?".

When we had the same sex marriage vote a couple of years ago here in Australia, it made me furious that the stupid Christian lobby and certain right wing politicians were saying some terrible things. If anyone asked me how I was going to vote I told them "What do you think?" and then proceeded to berate them if they thought otherwise because for the life of me why should they give a sh*t about what other people do when it comes to love and identity. At the end of the day it was a real contradiction that how dare the majority make a decision to impact the minority. But otherwise if the country hadn't banded together to vote in favour, then the country would have had to wait for years for it come into law.

Now the Religious Discrimination Bill is being thrashed out. Introduced as a promise to the churches after the SSM vote, it does allow religions to discriminate against LGBTQI people but could also impact on women and other minorities based on someone's beliefs.

So I hope that all makes sense. I don't think it shows you really don't care. You are just not bothered by it and accept it as normality. But when there does need to be the good fight, we are right behind you.

Thank you for voicing your side of things. You offered a unique, respectful perspective and I really appreciate it. Straight allies are so important in the fight against homophobia.
I think @Tony Wheeler summed it up better than I could. I am honestly so grateful to all my friends who said “I don’t see you differently now” when I came out. Most of the time, I just like to be a regular girl and chill with my friends. I love how I can casually talk about having a crush on a girl in front of my straight friends because I know they don’t think I’m weird. At the same time, if I’m having a problem because I am LGBTQ+ (or a POC, for that matter), I appreciate how they listen to my struggles and support me without invalidating my experience. For example, if I’m complaining about how hard it is to find a girlfriend because most girls are straight, it’s nice when my friends understand even though they don’t have that struggle. Little things like that make a big difference for me.

 

[Aussie Willy]

Thank you for voicing your side of things. You offered a unique, respectful perspective and I really appreciate it. Straight allies are so important in the fight against homophobia.
I think @Tony Wheeler summed it up better than I could. I am honestly so grateful to all my friends who said “I don’t see you differently now” when I came out. Most of the time, I just like to be a regular girl and chill with my friends. I love how I can casually talk about having a crush on a girl in front of my straight friends because I know they don’t think I’m weird. At the same time, if I’m having a problem because I am LGBTQ+ (or a POC, for that matter), I appreciate how they listen to my struggles and support me without invalidating my experience. For example, if I’m complaining about how hard it is to find a girlfriend because most girls are straight, it’s nice when my friends understand even though they don’t have that struggle. Little things like that make a big difference for me.

You summed it up really well. I used to be my friend's date to his work functions. He worked at a law firm and was really conscious about not letting anyone there know he was gay. Anyway they always picked the best venues and were great parties. The comment he got on Monday morning "Who was that girl you took to the party? She was a hoot." Another one of my badges of honour.

Fast forward 20 years. My cousin who is gay works for one of the biggest law firms in Melbourne. He has a partner who has been accepted by the whole family and I am sure has no problem taking him along to the Christmas party. I don't think they have got married yet which they can now do. Thankfully times have changed.

 

[PeterG]

There are other possible explanations for the loss of followers, such as that they were gay men whose hopes have been dashed.

I'm not crying. YOU'RE crying.

 

[Theatregirl1122]

If you don't see why an athlete coming out is a big deal, such gestures are not for you.

We have not yet reached a point in history where people are not discriminated against for their sexuality. So we have not yet reached the point in history where someone's sexuality "does not matter."

When I come out to people and they say it "doesn't matter to them" or they "don't care," I am aware that they are trying to mean well. But I care and it matters to me. That's why I'm bothering to tell them.

And for the record, implying (or saying) that sexuality is only who someone sleeps with is the height of rudeness, and it's a complete double standard. No one thinks that straight people's partners and sexuality come down to just who they sleep with. Even if I'm single and not having any sex, I'm still bisexual. If I some day have a long term partner of any gender, that won't just be who I sleep with. And not just because I may be in loving relationship. Because my bisexuality is a part of me. It's a part of how I see myself and a part of how I move through the world. It's a perspective I bring to the table and something I'm proud of. It affects how I see things and how I analyze things and how I interact with people. It's not just who I have sex with.

 

[Foolhardy Ham Lint]

Beautifully put, @Mad for Skating

People tend to forget that people who are so visible (even World Champion figure skaters) are role models for so many kids-- kids that may be experiencing their own doubts about themselves or feeling like something 'isn't right' because of the environment they live in or they world they believe to be 'normal'.

I know the tendency these days is to say 'Okay big deal' like it's so easy for everyone to just be out and proud in 2020 and that's just not the case. I saw when some news outlets picked up Amber Glenn's story, there were people in the comments sections bitching about religion or how they don't care about an athlete's personal life so they don't need to know any of this information. No one was making them read it and/or comment. But it just goes back to some people being incapable of stepping into anyone else's shoes.

I have a former pal who was swept up at college by a fundamentalist religious group. He became such a homophobic a**hole after joining, I had to end our friendship. (The irony being, several times during our friendship, I actually thought he was gay, and that he was trying to figure out if I was, too. I am, but at the time, I wasn't out, and that process was a deeply-personally one which was hijacked by a girl friend who did it for me. A story for another time.)

 

[Mad for Skating]

You summed it up really well. I used to be my friend's date to his work functions. He worked at a law firm and was really conscious about not letting anyone there know he was gay. Anyway they always picked the best venues and were great parties. The comment he got on Monday morning "Who was that girl you took to the party? She was a hoot." Another one of my badges of honour.

Fast forward 20 years. My cousin who is gay works for one of the biggest law firms in Melbourne. He has a partner who has been accepted by the whole family and I am sure has no problem taking him along to the Christmas party. I don't think they have got married yet which they can now do. Thankfully times have changed.

Aww, this story made me smile so much! Thank you for sharing!

If you don't see why an athlete coming out is a big deal, such gestures are not for you.

We have not yet reached a point in history where people are not discriminated against for their sexuality. So we have not yet reached the point in history where someone's sexuality "does not matter."

When I come out to people and they say it "doesn't matter to them" or they "don't care," I am aware that they are trying to mean well. But I care and it matters to me. That's why I'm bothering to tell them.

And for the record, implying (or saying) that sexuality is only who someone sleeps with is the height of rudeness, and it's a complete double standard. No one thinks that straight people's partners and sexuality come down to just who they sleep with. Even if I'm single and not having any sex, I'm still bisexual. If I some day have a long term partner of any gender, that won't just be who I sleep with. And not just because I may be in loving relationship. Because my bisexuality is a part of me. It's a part of how I see myself and a part of how I move through the world. It's a perspective I bring to the table and something I'm proud of. It affects how I see things and how I analyze things and how I interact with people. It's not just who I have sex with.

This is the perfect explanation - thank you so much for sharing! I relate so much to this. In fact, I haven’t had a relationship with anyone yet - male, female, or nonbinary - but I’m still bisexual. It’s not something that controls my life and overpowers everything else, but it’s a small part of my everyday life that changes the way I experience the world.

I have a former pal who was swept up at college by a fundamentalist religious group. He became such a homophobic a**hole after joining, I had to end our friendship. (The irony being, several times during our friendship, I actually thought he was gay, and that he was trying to figure out if I was, too. I am, but at the time, I wasn't out, and that process was a deeply-personally one which was hijacked by a girl friend who did it for me. A story for another time.)

Aw, I’m so sorry to hear this! I experienced something quite similar with a close friend and it was so difficult for me to cut her out of my life, even though I knew she was toxic. When I told her I was bi, she acted like she accepted me to my face, but she said awful things about the LGBTQ+ community behind my back.

It always amazes me how people have twisted their religions into an excuse for homophobia. I have several religious friends who support me, so there is no place for fake religious homophobes in my life.