@PeterG, from what I see of your comments, the way you talk about people being abused creating abuse seems to come from a very personal place. Is it an understanding you have as well for homophobes or racists?
I believe oppressive behaviour only occurs if oppression happens first. All humans are oppressed as youth. The school system is one form of oppression with the needs of approximately thirty students being served by...only one adult? What crockpot concocted this mess of an idea??
Being lied to is a form of abuse. So homophobes and racists have been told lies SO many times, even though as young people they questioned the informed being given to them as they knew it did not make sense. Eventually some were yelled at when they did not accept what was being told to them, some were punished in various ways for not agreeing, some were given the fear of being excluded from the family & community if they did not submit...again, like the snowflakes, the varying ways young people are dealt with can vary dramatically. Eventually a mob mentality takes over. Very abusive situations!
By this I mean, is it how you understand the behaviour, but also do you show them as much understanding as you do the misogynists we're talking about here?
I'm sure I'm like everybody else in this thread who, after watching the video in question, was filled with rage and hurt as to what these sportscasters have had to endure. But that's not a place I want to stay in for very long, if I can help it. We've all learned different ways of coping with things. Luckily with television and the internet, we have great examples of how people deal with the horrible ways people can act. I remember seeing a video of a gay guy who was bullied by a kid for years in school. In his adulthood, the bully started doing volunteer work after having kids and wanted to learn knew ways to live as what he had been given throughout his youth was not enough to enable him to have a happy life. One of his volunteer jobs was working on a project that involved gay men's health, and he became an important person in making positive things happen with this project. And coincidentally, that gay youth he had bullied became involved in the same project and the "bully" from his childhood got to make amends to him and the two became very good friends as adults.
In regards to racist behaviour, I remember when Whoopi Goldberg had a late-night half-hour talk show (in the 90's?) and she interviewed the leader of the Ku Klux Klan. I remember hearing her talk about it later and how she basically let him talk and just listened. Only asked questions when the conversation was dying down. She gave him space to speak about what led him to being where he was, although she did she part of her was letting him dig himself into a hole. So she wasn't completely saintly, but she did exercise what must have been an incredible amount of restraint. And non-judgement.
So things like this I try to let be my examples rather than acting on the venom I feel course through my veins when I heard these horrid tweets about these women being read out loud. I think that if I see people as a problem or as an enemy, it's going to be tougher for us to get to a place where we can create positive change together.
From what I see of the Twitter abuse, it's more about directing hatred to specific people types they don't like (gay, black, women) whom they perceive has having a power role. The Guardian did a great piece on who gets attacked:
The Dark Side of Guardian comments
Ugh...
In my view, not every online abuser has been abused, just like not every person abused goes on to abuse others.
I think that what people experience in life has
so many variables to consider. All humans deal with the abuse they receive, but the types of abuse each human deals with varies on the types, the frequency, who is acting abusive...plus many other things to consider (which will come to me eventually, but not right now!)
On the flip side, there are tons of variables as to who is there to turn to when abuse occurs? Some people have a lot of resources, some have little to none and most have something in the middle. Then there's how effective are the people we turn to in dealing with the abusive behaviour that occurs? How much responsibility does the person accept in regards to their behaviour? How are things set up for those who act abusively to make a positive change?
Also, I'm thinking we all get abused daily and we probably abuse people daily. When I volunteer at the computer classes at the library and there are way more people needing help than there are helps, I get curt with people who aren't as ready to proceed as quickly as others are. Afterwards, I go to get a smoothie to feel better, and one of the clerks at the counter verrrrrrrrry slowly makes a beverage for her customer friend so they can chat longer. And I wait. And wait. And wait. These are little examples of abuse of course. But over the course of a lifetime? And some people get WAY more than their share than others. And some get comfort often when abuse occurs and some get just a little comfrt...and some get none. And some get their abuses addressed and get to see changes occur so that it no longer happens. Some have no idea what that might look like! And most are somewhere in the middle. And some people get the most negative extremes of all this, whose behaviour is also very extreme. And they end up being the subject of youtube videos and discussion boards.
Culture, tradition and religion can all be positive. And all can be negative as well. None of them are one or the other. The negative aspects, through misogyny (and many other things) are abusive aspects of cultures, traditions and religions. We don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, however. But we do need to look at all this things and acknowledge the helpful, positive aspects of them and question the hurtful and negative aspects of them...and then take action to eliminate those negative things.
