Aerobicidal
Shut that door.
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Ivana Komova’s interview with Nancy Kerrigan for fansofwang.org:
IK: Almost twenty-five years after the Lillehammer Olympics and the traumatic experiences you faced leading up to them, Tonya Harding has had a popular resurgence thanks to an acclaimed film some believe grants her far too much sympathy.
NK: Unlike some people, I have moved on with my life. I’m not a trashy fame whore who eats cigarettes and puts on this innocent as a saint act before going backstage and sucking three dicks and half a pack of Newports during Adam Rippon’s dress rehearsal. By the way, I thought Adam was absolutely fantastic on Dancing with the Stars. He’s what the kids would call a quadruple threat: he can dance, sing, skate, and crack chestnuts with those luscious cheeks. And I’m not talking about the cheeks on his face.
IK: So you watched the show despite Tonya’s participation?
NK: I’d prefer not to talk about that fallen woman, that debauched harlot from whose mouth lugubrious tales of woe ejaculate like farts from attendees of a bean feast. The mere idea of her being considered a “star” is as laughable as claims that Oksana Baiul has comported herself with the class and sobriety expected as a chaste and moral role model as all skating champions should be. I thought Mirai Nagasu should easily have made it to the finals, even though I have no idea who she is. Her performances were charismatic and sassy, just like my comments at a certain Disney experience with which the media once had a field day.
IK: Did you also boycott I, Tonya?
NK: Of course I did. In fact, I don’t have another word to say about that Oregonian trollop. Tonya will forever be lumped, at least in my mind, with Amy Fisher and Lorena Bobbitt as the three unwise women of the 1990s. And I do mean lumped, which is a word that could describe Tonya at numerous times during her various salacious trajectories. She was searingly jealous of my Vera Wang costumes, particularly after she begged B.U.M. Equipment to sponsor her and create a look for her “People Are Still Having Sex” program and they turned her down. Note that the film didn’t include any mention of that because it was all about depicting her as the eternal victim; it was a repellent attempted hagiography whose critical acclaim reflects the complete lack of taste and decency in contemporary American culture.
IK: Even those who were critical of the film praised the starring actors, particularly Allison Janney.
NK: First of all, I am no longer going to say anything about Tonya. I’ve heard she was doing in-person appearances at movie theaters followed by Q and A sessions during which she refused to answer questions about the time she committed attempted manslaughter and attempted murder. I’ll tell you this: at 1992 nationals, we were in the locker room and Tonya demanded that someone order a pizza for her immediately before the short program. The pizza came non-sliced, and she screamed at the organizer, “This fancy ****ing bullshit pizza can suck my dick!” and cut it into pieces with her skate blade.
IK: Tonya’s diet and fitness have consistently been a subject of controversy.
NK: I have nothing more to say about Miss Harding, and I use the word “Miss” ironically because she’s been put away wetter than Hurricane Florence. Slow and wet—that’s Tonya for all of us. She likes beer. She liked beer when she was in high school. Back then some of the seniors were of legal drinking age. She still likes beer. Do you like beer? Have you ever drank so much beer that you didn’t remember some of what happened when you were drinking that beer?
IK: I only drink Stolichnaya and Dom Perignon.
NK: You are classy, which is the exact opposite of Tonya, although I have nothing more to say about her. Did you know she was a chain smoker? She goes through cartons of Newports like Jill Trenary went through cans of Aqua Net. They say some people smoke like chimneys, but Tonya smoked like a coal factory. Speaking of chimneys, though, she definitely understands what it’s like to have a gaping opening, if you know what I mean.
IK: Tonya was often considered the technical skater while you and Baiul were considered the artists. Today, we have skaters from Japan and, especially, Russia combining those two elements.
NK: I honestly can’t believe the Lillehammer judges were so ****ing corrupt that they made sure I lost the gold to that drunken bitch. First Tonya tried to kill me and then Oksana, with all her technical ****-ups and makeup that would make Tammie Faye Messner tell her to tone that shit down a few notches, and her innocent I’m the perfect little artist orphan with mascara running down my ****ing face. I should of won it all. I was destined to get that medal; it was so obvious my mother could even see it and she’s blind. And then I got all this ****ing bullshit in the media for being truthful about Oksana and Disney and people just bitched about how I was “whiny” and the whole “Why me?” shit. Well, I’ll tell you something: I didn’t just want to be a princess. I wanted to be the queen of the ****ing ice and Tonya and her conspiratorial underground network of hitmen and drug dealers and gang members and mafiosi tried to ruin my chances but I did not let that keep me down. I competed like a ****ing winner and I deserved to win and Soviet bullshit kept me from getting what I earned but I have gone on to live a full life and I am totally over it and Walt Disney and his corny-ass theme park can kiss every square millimeter of my ass.
IK: Tonya’s next TV appearance will be on the upcoming season of Worst Cooks in America. Will you watch?
NK: I have nothing more to say about that amoral tramp. I can only imagine that someone on the show will ask her about "the incident.” If that happens, Tonya will loose her marbles as she always does and most likely storm off the set. And that will finally be the end of her endless extended fifteen minutes of “fame.” I will always abhor her and think she should be in jail for the many felonies she committed, but as she is a woman who claims to care about God and her family, maybe she actually won’t blow it.
IK: Almost twenty-five years after the Lillehammer Olympics and the traumatic experiences you faced leading up to them, Tonya Harding has had a popular resurgence thanks to an acclaimed film some believe grants her far too much sympathy.
NK: Unlike some people, I have moved on with my life. I’m not a trashy fame whore who eats cigarettes and puts on this innocent as a saint act before going backstage and sucking three dicks and half a pack of Newports during Adam Rippon’s dress rehearsal. By the way, I thought Adam was absolutely fantastic on Dancing with the Stars. He’s what the kids would call a quadruple threat: he can dance, sing, skate, and crack chestnuts with those luscious cheeks. And I’m not talking about the cheeks on his face.
IK: So you watched the show despite Tonya’s participation?
NK: I’d prefer not to talk about that fallen woman, that debauched harlot from whose mouth lugubrious tales of woe ejaculate like farts from attendees of a bean feast. The mere idea of her being considered a “star” is as laughable as claims that Oksana Baiul has comported herself with the class and sobriety expected as a chaste and moral role model as all skating champions should be. I thought Mirai Nagasu should easily have made it to the finals, even though I have no idea who she is. Her performances were charismatic and sassy, just like my comments at a certain Disney experience with which the media once had a field day.
IK: Did you also boycott I, Tonya?
NK: Of course I did. In fact, I don’t have another word to say about that Oregonian trollop. Tonya will forever be lumped, at least in my mind, with Amy Fisher and Lorena Bobbitt as the three unwise women of the 1990s. And I do mean lumped, which is a word that could describe Tonya at numerous times during her various salacious trajectories. She was searingly jealous of my Vera Wang costumes, particularly after she begged B.U.M. Equipment to sponsor her and create a look for her “People Are Still Having Sex” program and they turned her down. Note that the film didn’t include any mention of that because it was all about depicting her as the eternal victim; it was a repellent attempted hagiography whose critical acclaim reflects the complete lack of taste and decency in contemporary American culture.
IK: Even those who were critical of the film praised the starring actors, particularly Allison Janney.
NK: First of all, I am no longer going to say anything about Tonya. I’ve heard she was doing in-person appearances at movie theaters followed by Q and A sessions during which she refused to answer questions about the time she committed attempted manslaughter and attempted murder. I’ll tell you this: at 1992 nationals, we were in the locker room and Tonya demanded that someone order a pizza for her immediately before the short program. The pizza came non-sliced, and she screamed at the organizer, “This fancy ****ing bullshit pizza can suck my dick!” and cut it into pieces with her skate blade.
IK: Tonya’s diet and fitness have consistently been a subject of controversy.
NK: I have nothing more to say about Miss Harding, and I use the word “Miss” ironically because she’s been put away wetter than Hurricane Florence. Slow and wet—that’s Tonya for all of us. She likes beer. She liked beer when she was in high school. Back then some of the seniors were of legal drinking age. She still likes beer. Do you like beer? Have you ever drank so much beer that you didn’t remember some of what happened when you were drinking that beer?
IK: I only drink Stolichnaya and Dom Perignon.
NK: You are classy, which is the exact opposite of Tonya, although I have nothing more to say about her. Did you know she was a chain smoker? She goes through cartons of Newports like Jill Trenary went through cans of Aqua Net. They say some people smoke like chimneys, but Tonya smoked like a coal factory. Speaking of chimneys, though, she definitely understands what it’s like to have a gaping opening, if you know what I mean.
IK: Tonya was often considered the technical skater while you and Baiul were considered the artists. Today, we have skaters from Japan and, especially, Russia combining those two elements.
NK: I honestly can’t believe the Lillehammer judges were so ****ing corrupt that they made sure I lost the gold to that drunken bitch. First Tonya tried to kill me and then Oksana, with all her technical ****-ups and makeup that would make Tammie Faye Messner tell her to tone that shit down a few notches, and her innocent I’m the perfect little artist orphan with mascara running down my ****ing face. I should of won it all. I was destined to get that medal; it was so obvious my mother could even see it and she’s blind. And then I got all this ****ing bullshit in the media for being truthful about Oksana and Disney and people just bitched about how I was “whiny” and the whole “Why me?” shit. Well, I’ll tell you something: I didn’t just want to be a princess. I wanted to be the queen of the ****ing ice and Tonya and her conspiratorial underground network of hitmen and drug dealers and gang members and mafiosi tried to ruin my chances but I did not let that keep me down. I competed like a ****ing winner and I deserved to win and Soviet bullshit kept me from getting what I earned but I have gone on to live a full life and I am totally over it and Walt Disney and his corny-ass theme park can kiss every square millimeter of my ass.
IK: Tonya’s next TV appearance will be on the upcoming season of Worst Cooks in America. Will you watch?
NK: I have nothing more to say about that amoral tramp. I can only imagine that someone on the show will ask her about "the incident.” If that happens, Tonya will loose her marbles as she always does and most likely storm off the set. And that will finally be the end of her endless extended fifteen minutes of “fame.” I will always abhor her and think she should be in jail for the many felonies she committed, but as she is a woman who claims to care about God and her family, maybe she actually won’t blow it.
Everything happens to her! It was a horrible event in skating history, but she's milked it to death even if unintentional! Baiul probably shouldn't have won; esp. 2-footing her 3 Lutz every single time! That added 3Toe at the end of her Broadway LP salvaged hope she could outscore Kerrigan and she did; though maybe a corrupt result! 
love it! it's not what Nancy says in public, it's what she thinks...
