Aerobicidal
Shut that door.
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Ivana Komova’s interview with Evgenia Medvedeva for mimefrenzy.ru:
IK: Congratulations on ending a challenging season on a high by winning bronze in Saitama. What does this medal mean to you?
EM: I like to think of the medal as a symbol of newly acquired agency. Young women in sports like skating have far too frequently been shielded from empowerment; ironically, this is often done by older women in positions of authority. I could have “chosen” to retire after the last Olympics and get married to an oligarch, become his trophy and pump out children for him to mold into future phallocrats. I could have been the meek, obedient teenage girl who serves others at the expense of her own self-actualization. Some people wanted that scenario. Some people were mistaken.
IK: And you were able to share the podium with two students of your former coach, Eteri Tutberidze.
EM: Of course. It’s hard for me not to wonder what she was thinking when she saw me there holding a large and elegant floral arrangement. I do believe her students will continue to enjoy success, if we define “success” in a very specific way with some particular caveats your readers don’t need me to regurgitate. And I use that word advisedly.
IK: You’ve been outspoken in addressing Russian fans who viewed your move to Canada as traitorous.
EM: One of Khlebnikov’s poems paraphrases an old Russian folk tale about an orphan who is forced into prostitution and winds up crippled with infections that eventually require her to amputate most of her left leg, which makes her, much to her own surprise, far more in demand. I considered myself lucky because that was unlikely to be similar to my own situation, so if I must be an orphan, then training in a beautiful country with Jason, Yuzuru, and many other great people was my version of orphanhood. Next, I believe I have sufficiently addressed any questions about whether I am truly Russian or not. I have publicly supported every one of their Eurovision entries since I was old enough to have a social media presence, and that includes Buranovskiye Babushki and Yulia Samoylova.
IK: Even Samoylova? Wow, that is patriotism at its most audacious. As you mentioned, two of your most well-known training mates are Jason Brown and Yuzuru Hanyu. Are you competing for the spotlight?
EM: Not at all. You want to see competition that will make a herd of hungry wildebeests confronted with a single steak seem like nap time at a Scandinavian commune, you know where to look. And it’s not the Cricket Club. Jason is the sweetest, kindest soul. He never even once questioned his free program or costume last year, in fact! Yuzuru is a mystery to everyone. I remember when I first considered moving to Toronto, my grandmother asked me if I was going to try to popularize an icon for my fans to associate with me, like Yuzuru has with Pooh. Sailor Moon seemed like the obvious choice, but I decided I would rather not give adults a reason to be embarrassed to cheer for me and simultaneously not tempt young people to dress up in ridiculous costumes to watch live skating. If you need to wear something to show your support for me, a simple surgical mask will do.
IK: Last year, you wound up changing your short program halfway through the season. The original program seemed very typical of David Wilson, but you switched to something choreographed by your friend Misha Ge.
EM: First of all, let me highlight the lack of my Canadian-ness by admitting that I am not innately capable of channeling relaxed jazzy feelings. Finger snapping, V-neck sweater vests, and suspenders—these are new and strange to me. To be able to evoke this vibe without years of practice, you must be born either in Canada or Alaska. Averbukh did have a program concept for me that related to Alaska: he wanted me to evoke the narrative of the Trump presidential campaign with quotes from Palin’s famous speech. Has it been definitely proven that she suffered from a series of strokes while delivering that oration? And what are right winging bitter clinging people? Something may be lost in translation.
IK: Don’t ask me. Averbukh, however, did create programs for you that were polarizing. When you look back on, say, the World Trade Center program, are there any regrets?
EM: Like so many things in modern life, it’s important to think of a continuum in order to keep perspective. Domnina and Shabalin had a program with brown faces and leaves, Lambiel did something involving a feline that I have heard is scarring, and we all know some of Plushenko’s lapses in taste. If the skating community wants to blame me for opening my mouth wide to show emotion about a tragedy, they should also be reminded that Tanith Belbin’s mouth was open much wider when she was playing any sort of character or, indeed, no character at all. If my gestures are seen as histrionic or in questionable taste, let us all be reminded of when Elena Ilinykh pretended to shoot herself or when Adam Rippon included the American Sign Language for “Yes, I am a power bottom” during the step sequence of his “Let Me Think About It” program. If I regret anything, it’s that I was denied the opportunity to control my artistic path, but I didn’t know such a thing was possible for teenage girls until too late.
IK: Are you implying that the Russian system, or the Tutberidze system, is authoritarian or oppressive?
EM: I cannot speak for the totality of the Russian system. There are, of course, bullies who adopt different disguises and personae in order to vilify others and stoke their own egos; some are not even real fans of figure skating. However, Eteri is a woman who, I believe, is firmly convinced her methodology is backed by all relevant scientific, athletic, artistic, and psychological meters. She has found a nutritionist from North Korea who swears under oath to Divine Leader that a diet of three seeds and one melted ice cube per day is healthy for a growing human being. Eteri blackmailed Shoma Uno’s team to let him train with her last summer in exchange for them writing notarized statements to the ISU that there is no such thing as a prerotated quadruple jump. Sambo is connected to an Uzbek choreography studio famous for working with Ruztic Yokelz, a Rednex tribute band, and these choreographers will go to court to defend Gleichengauz choreography as creative and original.
IK: I believe these are treasonous statements, but of course I am not responsible for them.
EM: Eteri was like a mother to me. You may ask, was it more like the mother from Cinderella or a different type of mother, Katerina Ivanovna Marmeladova from Crime and Punishment. And I’d say a bit of both but also not really either one.
IK: If you could write a single tweet to her now, what would it say?
EM: #puberty
IK: Congratulations on ending a challenging season on a high by winning bronze in Saitama. What does this medal mean to you?
EM: I like to think of the medal as a symbol of newly acquired agency. Young women in sports like skating have far too frequently been shielded from empowerment; ironically, this is often done by older women in positions of authority. I could have “chosen” to retire after the last Olympics and get married to an oligarch, become his trophy and pump out children for him to mold into future phallocrats. I could have been the meek, obedient teenage girl who serves others at the expense of her own self-actualization. Some people wanted that scenario. Some people were mistaken.
IK: And you were able to share the podium with two students of your former coach, Eteri Tutberidze.
EM: Of course. It’s hard for me not to wonder what she was thinking when she saw me there holding a large and elegant floral arrangement. I do believe her students will continue to enjoy success, if we define “success” in a very specific way with some particular caveats your readers don’t need me to regurgitate. And I use that word advisedly.
IK: You’ve been outspoken in addressing Russian fans who viewed your move to Canada as traitorous.
EM: One of Khlebnikov’s poems paraphrases an old Russian folk tale about an orphan who is forced into prostitution and winds up crippled with infections that eventually require her to amputate most of her left leg, which makes her, much to her own surprise, far more in demand. I considered myself lucky because that was unlikely to be similar to my own situation, so if I must be an orphan, then training in a beautiful country with Jason, Yuzuru, and many other great people was my version of orphanhood. Next, I believe I have sufficiently addressed any questions about whether I am truly Russian or not. I have publicly supported every one of their Eurovision entries since I was old enough to have a social media presence, and that includes Buranovskiye Babushki and Yulia Samoylova.
IK: Even Samoylova? Wow, that is patriotism at its most audacious. As you mentioned, two of your most well-known training mates are Jason Brown and Yuzuru Hanyu. Are you competing for the spotlight?
EM: Not at all. You want to see competition that will make a herd of hungry wildebeests confronted with a single steak seem like nap time at a Scandinavian commune, you know where to look. And it’s not the Cricket Club. Jason is the sweetest, kindest soul. He never even once questioned his free program or costume last year, in fact! Yuzuru is a mystery to everyone. I remember when I first considered moving to Toronto, my grandmother asked me if I was going to try to popularize an icon for my fans to associate with me, like Yuzuru has with Pooh. Sailor Moon seemed like the obvious choice, but I decided I would rather not give adults a reason to be embarrassed to cheer for me and simultaneously not tempt young people to dress up in ridiculous costumes to watch live skating. If you need to wear something to show your support for me, a simple surgical mask will do.
IK: Last year, you wound up changing your short program halfway through the season. The original program seemed very typical of David Wilson, but you switched to something choreographed by your friend Misha Ge.
EM: First of all, let me highlight the lack of my Canadian-ness by admitting that I am not innately capable of channeling relaxed jazzy feelings. Finger snapping, V-neck sweater vests, and suspenders—these are new and strange to me. To be able to evoke this vibe without years of practice, you must be born either in Canada or Alaska. Averbukh did have a program concept for me that related to Alaska: he wanted me to evoke the narrative of the Trump presidential campaign with quotes from Palin’s famous speech. Has it been definitely proven that she suffered from a series of strokes while delivering that oration? And what are right winging bitter clinging people? Something may be lost in translation.
IK: Don’t ask me. Averbukh, however, did create programs for you that were polarizing. When you look back on, say, the World Trade Center program, are there any regrets?
EM: Like so many things in modern life, it’s important to think of a continuum in order to keep perspective. Domnina and Shabalin had a program with brown faces and leaves, Lambiel did something involving a feline that I have heard is scarring, and we all know some of Plushenko’s lapses in taste. If the skating community wants to blame me for opening my mouth wide to show emotion about a tragedy, they should also be reminded that Tanith Belbin’s mouth was open much wider when she was playing any sort of character or, indeed, no character at all. If my gestures are seen as histrionic or in questionable taste, let us all be reminded of when Elena Ilinykh pretended to shoot herself or when Adam Rippon included the American Sign Language for “Yes, I am a power bottom” during the step sequence of his “Let Me Think About It” program. If I regret anything, it’s that I was denied the opportunity to control my artistic path, but I didn’t know such a thing was possible for teenage girls until too late.
IK: Are you implying that the Russian system, or the Tutberidze system, is authoritarian or oppressive?
EM: I cannot speak for the totality of the Russian system. There are, of course, bullies who adopt different disguises and personae in order to vilify others and stoke their own egos; some are not even real fans of figure skating. However, Eteri is a woman who, I believe, is firmly convinced her methodology is backed by all relevant scientific, athletic, artistic, and psychological meters. She has found a nutritionist from North Korea who swears under oath to Divine Leader that a diet of three seeds and one melted ice cube per day is healthy for a growing human being. Eteri blackmailed Shoma Uno’s team to let him train with her last summer in exchange for them writing notarized statements to the ISU that there is no such thing as a prerotated quadruple jump. Sambo is connected to an Uzbek choreography studio famous for working with Ruztic Yokelz, a Rednex tribute band, and these choreographers will go to court to defend Gleichengauz choreography as creative and original.
IK: I believe these are treasonous statements, but of course I am not responsible for them.
EM: Eteri was like a mother to me. You may ask, was it more like the mother from Cinderella or a different type of mother, Katerina Ivanovna Marmeladova from Crime and Punishment. And I’d say a bit of both but also not really either one.
IK: If you could write a single tweet to her now, what would it say?
EM: #puberty
I'll also admit that I was afraid of finding out what it actually meant...
