Regarding deceased FSU members.

[Jot the Dot Dot]

On a different website message board, they have a way of referring to a dearly-departed member where, below the username, say Brooklyn Dreamer , instead of the generic (Well Known Member), or chosen (Zappa Fan par excellence), they would substitute In Memoriam , for all of that persons postings. Could such be done for FSU? Just a thought.

 

[SHARPIE]

I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not, would appreciate other’s thoughts on the matter. Sorry I’ve not been very well this week so apologies for the slow response.

 

[once_upon]

@SHARPIE I'm concerned about "outing" people, even if they are deceased. The family may feel it's an intrusion into their loved one's memory. Some posts made by the deceased when alive might upset family when they read them.

Particularly if the deceased shared any pain they might have experienced while dying. People are known to try and protect their families by not sharing pain with family members but can with strangers they have never met in real life.

Many people have very personal reasons to stay anonymous on the web.

 

[tony]

@SHARPIE I'm concerned about "outing" people, even if they are deceased. The family may feel it's an intrusion into their loved one's memory. Some posts made by the deceased when alive might upset family when they read them.

Particularly if the deceased shared any pain they might have experienced while dying. People are known to try and protect their families by not sharing pain with family members but can with strangers they have never met in real life.

Many people have very personal reasons to stay anonymous on the web.

I think the original post meant just a title under their user names, not outing who the person is in any way?

 

[once_upon]

I think the original post meant just a title under their user names, not outing who the person is in any way?

There are always nosy people who will scour the Internet once a real life name is known. I read it as including the real name.

But it's just my opinion, so I'm OK with whatever the board decides. Especially if there would be some way someone could indicate their desire to be acknowledged that way.

ETA - it's probable that I read it wrong as the first example was a given name, not a poster's user name

 

[Jot the Dot Dot]

I think the original post meant just a title under their user names, not outing who the person is in any way?

Yes, that's what I meant. I'm not for 'outing' anyone in the sense of saying that (fictitious example) 'Brooklyn Dreamer' T/N Eric Hansen, or anything like that. Just as my username has 'Headstrong Buzzard' below it, my suggestion would read:
Brooklyn Dreamer
In Memoriam
...in honor of that person. I now understand there will be reservations regarding privacy, so that is why I asked for opinions pro, con or mixed. Guess it is a learning experience for anyone to know what issues would be involved.

 

[SHARPIE]

I think the original post meant just a title under their user names, not outing who the person is in any way?

Yeah that’s how I read it, but even then I’m not totally on board with it.

 

[hoptoad]

I don't like the idea, but maybe others will offer support.

 

[pat c]

In the members area you could just put in memoriam under their name and then delete their posts. It just lets people know what has happened to the poster.

But, whatever works for you, Sharpie.

 

[Sparks]

I vote for leaving it alone

 

[MacMadame]

Don't delete their posts. It will make past conversations incomprehensible. Also, it's erasing them.

 

[miffy]

I completely agree, no deleting posts, that would be so sad and unnecessary.

I have no major objection to an In Memoriam user title but personally I don’t think it’s necessary. If we were close to them we’ll know and remember them when we see their posts - I know I do

 

[Desperado]

As a 20-year lurker and poster who has sadly never met any of you in person, I always appreciated being notified that a poster had passed. I know threads have been created for the most well-known posters, but I’ve also seen questions like “where is X?” often many months/years after someone had died and it created awkward situations.

I would see an “In Memoriam” user title as a mark of respect and remembrance.

Maybe we can ask the person notifying the board of a death (I’m assuming executor and/or family member) if they would like to have the title added?

 

[just tuned in]

I agree with @Desperado and @Jot the Dot Dot. It is respectful to acknowledge someone's death. Are we afraid now that acknowledgement of a person's passing is a form of "outing"? That it is no one's "business" that a fellow poster has died?

Have we not all seen some TV show where a member of the production staff dies, and there is a screen saying that the episode is in memory of that individual? Usually, the year of birth and death are noted. I think it would be a beautiful gesture to have the person's FSU avatar read, "In loving memory" or something like that.

 

[Sparks]

Yes, but this isn't a TV show.

 

[Prancer]

Maybe we can ask the person notifying the board of a death (I’m assuming executor and/or family member) if they would like to have the title added?

We are very rarely notified of a poster's death by a family member. I can think of one time that this happened. The other times that we have found out a poster has died have been either another poster who is a friend of the deceased has found out and told us or someone has been nosy and tracked the information down.

People leave far more often than die. I don't see any issues with putting In Memoriam under someone's name if everyone thinks that's a good idea, but I do think it will encourage people to ask if X has died, which is an invitation to go hunting. Not everyone who leaves wants to be found and it's intrusive to go after them.

 

[once_upon]

People leave far more often than die. I don't see any issues with putting In Memoriam under someone's name if everyone thinks that's a good idea, but I do think it will encourage people to ask if X has died, which is an invitation to go hunting. Not everyone who leaves wants to be found and it's intrusive to go after them.

Bold is probably the best reason not to do something.

 

[MacMadame]

My suggestion is that if a death is reported to the board by a family member, they get asked if they want their user title to change to "In Memorium" and change it only if family says Yes. But for everyone else, we do nothing.

 

[sk8pics]

I like @MacMadame’s suggestion. If a family member reports a death, offer the option of changing the title. Otherwise, don’t do anything.

 

[Skate Talker]

I know this topic was started with only good intentions to properly honour members who have passed on and indeed it's a worthy idea. Certainly many thoughtful responses have been shared.

Just a question - how do you imagine the Admins will be able to verify the person contacting them is a legit family member with the right to make such a decision? Perhaps one might even ask how the Admins would verify the member is question is actually deceased?

Unfortunately imho any action is potentially opening up this board for a whole bunch more administrative nightmares.

 

[Aceon6]

I know this topic was started with only good intentions to properly honour members who have passed on and indeed it's a worthy idea. Certainly many thoughtful responses have been shared.

Just a question - how do you imagine the Admins will be able to verify the person contacting them is a legit family member with the right to make such a decision? Perhaps one might even ask how the Admins would verify the member is question is actually deceased?

Unfortunately imho any action is potentially opening up this board for a whole bunch more administrative nightmares.

If the person turns up alive, it‘s extremely easy to change. We’re not the NYT.

 

[pat c]

I've re-read this thread. I can understand a lot of the views expressed. But I am a big believer in the kiss rule (keep it simple) , it's been working ok the way Sharpie and all have been doing it. Why not keep it the way it's been going.

Sometimes we won't know if someone has either stepped back or .........and that's ok.