Wedding Etiquette questions

[Cupid]

My BF and I are going to his niece's wedding this Saturday. We plan to attend the church ceremony and the reception after.

I have a couple of questions since I haven't been to a wedding in years.

* When we go to the church, I know we will be asked if we are with the bride or groom's side and we will sit on the left side for the bride (facing the altar on the left). I assume I will have one of the groomsmen offer his arm to seat us. Do I go into the pew first, followed by my BF, and then his 16yo son? Or does the boy go in first since he's a minor? Do we all sit together? Or will the son be seated somewhere else?
* When we get to to the reception area, I dont think we get in the receiving line or do we?
* I think we will be sitting at the table with the niece's parents/grandparents/ as my BF is the brother of the bride's sister, so it would be the niece's mom/dad, grandma/grandpa (not sure if there is another set of grandparents alive), BF/me and BF son.

I've met the BF family already on two occasions, so he is definitely serious about me and has said so.

Also, of no importance just as a sidenote, his son's mother is black. I've met her on a couple occasions at the son's soccer games.

Thanks for your help!

 

[oleada]

I wouldn't assume that there's necessarily going to be a side. Some weddings these days are a "seat wherever, we're all family" type situation. There may be ushers or not. You can all sit together or not, you can go in first or not. Don't think it makes much difference.

Are you sure there will be a receiving line? My impression is that they have fallen out of favor. I've been to 5-6 weddings in the past year, none had had a receiving line. Most people just stop by at each table to greet and thank their guests.

 

[Cupid]

I wouldn't assume that there's necessarily going to be a side. Some weddings these days are a "seat wherever, we're all family" type situation. There may be ushers or not. You can all sit together or not, you can go in first or not. Don't think it makes much difference.

Are you sure there will be a receiving line? My impression is that they have fallen out of favor. I've been to 5-6 weddings in the past year, none had had a receiving line. Most people just stop by at each table to greet and thank their guests.

Thanks for your response! I haven't been to a wedding in years! I did speak with the niece at Mother's Day and she said she was having assigned seating at her reception of about 200 people. I will just go with the flow. I was more concerned about looking like a doofus walking down the church aisle to our seats. I'm thinking if a groomsman gives me his arm, I will do what other women do and just take their lead

 

[Tinami Amori]

your info and questions

I have been to many different weddings, all planned and set as "classic" or "traditional" and yet EVERY one was very different in structure...
I strongly recommend that you state all these questions to a family member or planner.... i really think you should if you want to be accurate.

 

[overedge]

Are you asking if you would stand in the receiving line to greet the guests, or go through the line to greet the bride and groom?

At the last wedding I was at that had a receiving line, it was only immediate family - bride, groom and their parents - who greeted the guests. And everyone who was at the reception went through the line. I've also been at weddings where the bride and groom visited each table like @oleada describes - I actually liked the receiving line better, as you were sure to get a moment with the bride and groom. It was also a chance to meet the parents and thank them for the party, or welcome them to the family.

 

[Aceon6]

Being escorted depends on the number of groomsmen. If you aren't greeted, seat yourself on the left making sure to leave enough rows for people who are closer relatives. I always have the youngest person get in first. They can scoot, I can't. Since it's his niece, he gets the aisle seat.

As a guest, you will go through the line if there is one. Typically, the receivers are the bride, groom, their parents, and members of the wedding party.

Check at the entry for table cards. If there are none, as an uncle, your bf should grab a table within 2 tables of the head table.

All of the above is what I call "by the book etiquette. If it's a casual wedding, all bets are off.

 

[Parsley Sage]

When you arrive at the reception, there will either be place cards with your names on them that indicate your table number or a seating chart with the names of the people sitting at each table.

 

[antmanb]

* I think we will be sitting at the table with the niece's parents/grandparents/ as my BF is the brother of the bride's sister,

I have a hard time working out family connections, but if your boyfriend is the brother of the bride's sister, is he not also the brother of the bride? This sounds like one of those logic problems

 

[Cupid]

I have a hard time working out family connections, but if your boyfriend is the brother of the bride's sister, is he not also the brother of the bride? This sounds like one of those logic problems

Oops, I meant to say my BF is the brother of the bride's MOM (not sister)!

 

[Gazpacho]

The truth is, every wedding does things slightly differently. The only ones that can answer these questions are the family members involved with the planning.

 

[Cupid]

Wedding turned out nice. At the church, there was a posterboard displayed that said there weren't any sides, just two families joining as one, please sit wherever you wish. We sat in the second row on the left side of the church as you face the altar. It was me into the pew first, followed by the BF, and then his son.

No receiving line at the banquet hall, but there was another poster displayed at the entrance showing which showed the assigned seats/tables you were to sit at.

 

[alj5]

Wedding turned out nice. At the church, there was a posterboard displayed that said there weren't any sides, just two families joining as one, please sit wherever you wish.

I think this is becoming more common (at least here in southern California). People are often waiting longer to marry and often living together before marriage, which I think makes "taking a side" less common.

 

[MacMadame]

At my wedding, almost everyone was from my "side" so it would have been really weird to seat people like that. We just had them fill in both sides, first come, first serve (except a few rows in the front for family)