I'm sorry to hear the news. Sending prayers for your family and wish you all peace. There will likely be a lot of grief and up/down feelings, so please take care of yourself and know that we all care. Hugs.
Mom & I are hanging in there. We've both been taking naps when we need to & making sure to eat. I'm actually grateful for what I call Transplant Boot Camp where they drilled it into me "You must do this or that..." because when I think I'm not hungry, I hear that Nurse's voice in my head & I get a plate.
We went in yesterday & made the arrangements & I'm so thankful to the Funeral Director. My Uncle/Dad's Brother convinced Mom it would be easier on us if we had a Visitation & Funeral combined Tuesday & nothing Monday. That way get it all done & over w/. Well I got thinking Friday night that just was not going to work. My Parents did a lot for an awful of people around here & were very active in the Community, plus all the People from Sudbury & Sault Ste Marie. Then there's all the "kids" of Family Friends they took under their wing & basically either grew up w/me as Honourary Brothers or were always there for me as I was growing up.
Like the Family that lived across from us. They had five boys & a girl who was born three or four years before me, & their Dad wasn't much of a Dad of any kind to begin w/, but then he left them & every single one of those "boys" say my Dad was more of Dad to them than theirs ever was. Mom asked me last night how I felt if she asked one of them to say something Tuesday. She's knows I'm doing the Eulogy, so I think she was scared she might be stepping on my toes by doing this. As I told her, Dad was just as much their Dad as he was mine Of course it's fine. Anyway...I know there's going to be big turn out due to how many people he touched & just one hour Visitation before the Service & that's it? Nope, not going to work, but I also knew Mom being so fixated on not wanting to rock the boat w/my Uncle that she might not listen to me, so I thought let it lie & bring it up when we made the arrangements.
When Mom told the Funeral Director that original idea, he very gently told her that wasn't a good idea. That it would be far better to have a Visitation on Monday & as he was explaining it to Mom, it was pretty much everything I'd thought the night before. So...I was so thankful he did it & I didn't have to bring it up. We've got enough going on, we don't need a fight between us adding to the stress.
Our Ministers left about an hour ago after spending most of the Afternoon here to plan the Service. I say Ministers because the one retired about three years ago, but Erwin's also been a very good Family Friend for years & he *knows* us. Whereas while we've gotten to know Janice & she's become a Friend, it's not even as close to us & Erwin, so in situations like this, they share doing the Service. Only thing still up in the air is if we wanted a reading, & if so, who would do it!?! Mom thought it would be good if either one of my Nephews did it, but she'd have to see. The she forgot when my Sister called a little while ago. As I told Mom, that's what E mail's for sometimes. Just waiting to hear back.
The biggest worry has been my Brother in Law. His Cancer came back & he had Stem Cell Transplant #2 starting Dec 10th. Yes those that remember, on my Transplant Anniversary, anyway... While that has gone well, the Chemo really left some nasty "gifts". Such as it really burnt the inside of his mouth badly, he's only now eating soft food in fact, as well as other things & he's not supposed to be in Crowds right now either. Plus his energy's not really back, but he told us he was coming no matter what!! So what do we do? Then Mom had an idea.
Why not tomorrow afternoon before the Visitation, we'd go out, meet them at the Funeral Home & that way Carmen could have his time w/Dad, but not have to deal w/the crowds & then leave. She asked about that yesterday & was told not a problem. That was what Mom & Judy were talking about earlier, they managed to convince him it was the right thing to do. Thank God because that's a huge worry off our shoulders.
I thought, since some of us go all the way back to the old FSW & Chat days, you might like to look at his Obituary & see just what my Dad looked like. The picture is one I took at my oldest Nephew's Wedding & those who have seen it have told me, "That's your Dad. It's perfect!!"
Thank you for sharing insight into your parents and the kind of man your dad was. It's good to hear that you and your mom have a good support system.
My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family.
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