Things I’m sick of tbh.....

ilovepaydays

Well-Known Member
Messages
11,094
To be honest, I'm sick of always being the one to initiate contact with my friends and relatives.

Yes! Other than my mother (who initiates contact once a week), I have had to initiate almost all contact with family, friends and colleagues. Four people have initiated contact with me once in the last 6 weeks, and I have received thank you messages from the nieces/nephews for the packages of activities I sent them. Other than that, nothing. Even more annoying/frustrating are the many whose reply to my texts/emails/messages is just a one-liner, or an emoji (or no reply at all). Every time I see one of those stupid commercials on tv telling us that "you are not alone" and encouraging people to connect with others, I want to throw something at it.

Not related to this current global medical crisis - but about five years ago, I was venting about this to an older woman and she told me “Never make anyone a priority if they‘ve made you optional.” My mental health got A LOT better after following that advice.
—————————————

I’m :rolleyes: at the people who keep saying, “We’ll all get back to normal.” UM - I was hoping there would be some silver linings to this and there would be some things that would NEVER go back to normal. Things like:
  • People not respecting personal space.
  • Strangers (or anyone else, for that matter) thinking they are entitled to touch your body (handshakes, pats, hugs).
  • People walking into others because they can’t see where they are going because they are staring down at their phone.
 

Lorac

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,362
I am sick and tired of the negativity and crap that seems to have permeated the different Facebook groups I belong to. The groups set up for *********-19 support in my areas started out as helpful but then moved into the lockdown breaker whining followed by the 'OMG the shops are empty and no one SD's' whinging!!! And the massage groups I belong to are just deteriorating into a pile of negativity. Should we be working or shouldn't we is one thing to discuss but how some are defending their opinion is so exhausting and negative to read. For people who are suppose to help others some are just horrible and downright nasty!!
 

Bunny Hop

Queen of the Workaround
Messages
6,515
I'm sick of the hand-wringing over people not being able to visit their mother on Mother's Day (which is tomorrow here in Australia). So, you'd prefer to possibly give your parent (who if you need to visit is more likely to fall into the older, more vulnerable, demographic) a potentially deadly disease? How do you know you're not an asymptomatic carrier? The best Mother's Day present you can give this year is to talk to them on the phone.
 

MacMadame

Staying at home
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40,602
I'm a mother and I don't care if my kids visit me. As long as they give me presents. :lol: (I'm kidding about the presents.)

We're going to have a WebEx party but some years I've gone off and done a triathlon without them. In fact, I was supposed to do a Half-Ironman tomorrow anyway.
 

Bunny Hop

Queen of the Workaround
Messages
6,515
I'm a mother and I don't care if my kids visit me. As long as they give me presents. :lol: (I'm kidding about the presents.)
:lol: Even before I left home my mother was telling me not to waste money on Mother's Day cards (let alone presents). She's good with a verbal "Happy Mother's Day", although that kind of got confused when I was in the UK and Mothering Sunday was in March. I think at that point she either got wished Happy Mother's Day twice in a year or not at all.
 

Aceon6

Isolating from mean people
Messages
22,168
I'm sick of the hand-wringing over people not being able to visit their mother on Mother's Day
But I’m somewhat sympathetic with this one. My extended family has been very good about the stay at home order. The likelihood of my niece or her kids bringing the crud to my SIL is very small. I guess I’m sick of not knowing what the rules might be on the 18th and how much riskier (or not) visiting someone on the 10th is.
 

Rock2

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,689
To be honest, I'm sick of people who let their growling dogs run free. To be honest, I'm sick of their saying, "Oh, he's friendly."

To be honest, I'm sick of always being the one to initiate contact with my friends and relatives.

Thank you, @SHARPIE for giving me a place to vent.

Ohhhh, these are two huge ones that have been trending downward even before the current situation.

Dog owners forget that their dog is friendly to them as the owners but can turn on a dime if they perceive a threat - even if generally friendly to everyone. That's the nature of an animal. We forget that and choose not to see our pets that way.

And the second captioned one would be a much longer conversation that I'm up for having because it's layered - even moreso than I'll propose below. I will say I'm lucky that I eventually purged those in my circle who don't give and take, Go through one even semi-rough period in your life and you learn who your friends are - and you focus on investing in those.

Separately, we're in a different world. New generations coming up have different profiles. They are empathetic with respect to causes but less with individual members of their posse (friends/fam). And even then, the 'support' amounts to a kind phrase on FB to tick the box and then move on. Shallow immersion in the problem.

And in general, life does have much more anxiety attached to it now (combination of real events, perceptions, a host of things)- I mean it's a recent Time Magazine cover. That results in a markedly decreased capacity to invest support energy in others while the demand for support appears to be surging. Huge mismatch. I believe this is part of the root issue of why people don't reach out. They have their own stuff going on and can't bring themselves to check in and help. Not at all excusing - just trying to understand it.

This insight is behind an app I'm in the process of launching now for peer coaching, mentoring, networking and importantly support (won't distract with shameless promotion because that's not the point). Solving the problem of how do you get people to help when the intent is there but the action isn't. Hopefully sooner than later I'll be able to offer pieces to the solutions.
 

Rock2

Well-Known Member
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3,689
One of my FB groups declared itself a C-19 free zone. It's been very nice. :D

This is very smart.

I have done that with a few FB groups. I find I'm coping MUCH better by following some of the good advice out there to stay out of the news. We have to remember, news is entertainment that thrives on negativity and drama. And given that we are in the early stages still (depending on where you are), the news will have a strong bias to the negative until we start to round the corner, which will be awhile.

I have literally not read one news app or watched a single newscast since mid-March. I bookmarked some government sites to get stats and instructions on what to do and not do. The rest I can do without.

It may feel awkward at first to ban this type of convo from your groups because you're acting like nothing is happening but it becomes easier once you get momentum from focusing on constructive matters.
 

clairecloutier

Well-Known Member
Messages
11,420
This is very smart.

I have done that with a few FB groups. I find I'm coping MUCH better by following some of the good advice out there to stay out of the news. We have to remember, news is entertainment that thrives on negativity and drama. And given that we are in the early stages still (depending on where you are), the news will have a strong bias to the negative until we start to round the corner, which will be awhile.

I have literally not read one news app or watched a single newscast since mid-March. I bookmarked some government sites to get stats and instructions on what to do and not do. The rest I can do without.

It may feel awkward at first to ban this type of convo from your groups because you're acting like nothing is happening but it becomes easier once you get momentum from focusing on constructive matters.


I go back and forth on this. There was one night this past week when I was so angry & depressed about what was being reported in the news that I seriously considered whether it was time to just check out and let whatever happens just happen. It might indeed be better for my mental health, as the news is mostly all bad right now, particularly on the U.S. federal level. I might be better off mentally if I just stopped paying attention to it. I still might do that at some point, if it seems truly necessary.

But I also do believe theoretically in the importance of an educated and involved citizenry. I hate the sentiment you hear so often in the U.S.-- "Oh, all the politicians are terrible and there's no difference between them, why should I care?" I hate that. It's not in my character to ignore these things, I feel a need to know what's going on.

I agree, though, that there are many "entertainment" aspects to the news these days. For example, chatter about who wins debates, which candidates are currently up or down in trending popularity that week, etc. That's stuff that I do try to mostly ignore.
 
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once_upon

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18,342
I'll be happy with a Happy Mother's Day text from my kids. I told everyone a couple of years ago that an eight or nine dollar card was unnecessary and a waste of money.
 

Rock2

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,689
I go back and forth on this. There was one night this past week when I was so angry & depressed about what was being reported in the news that I seriously considered whether it was time to just check out and let whatever happens just happen. It might indeed be better for my mental health, as the news is mostly all bad right now, particularly on the U.S. federal level. I might be better off mentally if I just stopped paying attention to it. I still might do that at some point, if it seems truly necessary.

But I also do believe theoretically in the importance of an educated and involved citizenry. I hate the sentiment you hear so often in the U.S.-- "Oh, all the politicians are terrible and there's no difference between them, why should I care?" I hate that. It's not in my character to ignore these things, I feel a need to know what's going on.

I agree, though, that there are many "entertainment" aspects to the news these days. For example, chatter about who wins debates, which candidates are currently up or down in trending popularity that week, etc. That's stuff that I do try to mostly ignore.

Very well said and you're absolutely right. You're doing a disservice to your country if you become yet another of the un/misinformed. That's the trick - stay connected using the most objective and efficient means you can. For me in Canada that's largely government websites at all 3 levels. Luckily here the partisan issues are reasonably in check so what we're getting is serving the need for now.
 

Prancer

Demonic Chihuahua
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once_upon

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sk8pics

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8,103
I'm sick of people saying that conspiracy theory videos "make you think." If conspiracy theories "make you think." You must not have the experience very often.

And you can't debunk anything because facts don't exist in these conversations.
I’m sick of this too, and disappointed that a former work colleague posted, not a video, but a twitter feed with a bunch of graphs showing that the steps taken to shelter in place didn’t have any effect at all on the rate of deaths or infections.
 

PRlady

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Messages
36,146
I am sick of cooking or trying to decide with Mr Hedwig what he should cook the next day. We are NOT a compatible family when it comes to food and we are all sick of the few meals we all three like.

We go back and forth between Mediterranean cooking with lots of veggies, which is healthy but after a while all tastes the same, and my spicy, fatty, not-good-for-you stuff (there are BBQ ribs in the oven at the moment.) I encouraged DH, since he likes to watch recipe YouTube, to start watching American rather than Israeli demos because we have literally nine times as much variety in food available, even in a *********.

Fortunately, I learned to cook Indian and some other Asian a long time ago and we both like it. Thank god PRkid is not SIP with us, she won't eat fish, most veggies, lots of spices, feh. I don't know where I went wrong with that child.
 

cholla

High ground loner
Messages
12,286
I'm sick of people telling me I'm a coward because I wear a mask to go shopping and insist on social distanciation. If I was a coward I would certainly not have practiced (and still practice) sports like sky diving, climbing, off pist and backcountry skiing, hiking alone, paragliding and so on. I'm not afraid of much. I'm not afraid of dying or even getting sick. I'm afraid of contaminating others, my mother in particular, who is 84 years old with several severe conditions and with whom I share a house. It's not about me. For all I know I could be an asymptomatic spreader and I could poison every single people I cross path with. I'll go back to work on May 26 and as I'm a health worker, wearing a mask will be mandatory anyway. What kind of person would I be if I didn't care what I can bring to others? As much as I'm a loner, I still care for other human beings. Unfortunately, I've come to the point where I really wonder why... But it's an unconscious reflex I can't, fortunately, go against.
 
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antmanb

Well-Known Member
Messages
10,679
We go back and forth between Mediterranean cooking with lots of veggies, which is healthy but after a while all tastes the same, and my spicy, fatty, not-good-for-you stuff (there are BBQ ribs in the oven at the moment.) I encouraged DH, since he likes to watch recipe YouTube, to start watching American rather than Israeli demos because we have literally nine times as much variety in food available, even in a *********.

We tend to do Mediterranean type food when we're being "good" but like you said it all starts to blend into one another after some time. My work wife suggested that we spread store bought pesto (red in particular was good) on a whole chicken and roast it in the oven as usual. We had that with mediterranean veg that we tossed in olive oil and roasted. It was really good! I then remembered a tandoori chicken marinade that uses fat free greek yogurt and you add spices like garam masala and cumin to and spread it over chicken (or any other meat) and roast it. Basically all the same ingredient just different marinades for the meat.
 

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