As much as I love the name Leander Schaerlaeckens, this article was even worse than some of the "reporting" I see in my city's alternative weekly.
Some of the quotes that I imagine have Faulkner rolling in his grave, jealous that he didn't write them himself:
"They hug and hop and everything is glitter and sparkles."
I'm imagining a happier version of
this.
"They quickly connected waiting outside a studio on their first day. 'We both had Céline bags,' Lipinski recalled."
We also both love soup. And talking . . . or not talking. We could talk or not talk about our designer bags forever.
"Figure skating is a hierarchical sport. You await your turn."
Personally, I'm awaiting for my man.
"Neither he nor Lipinski will utter Kwan’s name, which is so figure skating."
What does Raven-Symoné have to say about this???
"Since those Olympics, NBC has not only made them the top figure skating team but used them at the Oscars and the Super Bowl — when Weir wore a sequined, football-shaped yarmulke, sparkly eye black and sequined pad."
After the dash, everything goes to shit.
"'Skating is such a small world,' Weir said. 'It’s very dog eat dog, it’s very behind the back. Anything you tell somebody can come back and bite you.'"
Don't count your spring chickens until you know whether they came before or after the egg you need to break to make omelets.
"Below the sequins there is substance."
Wasn't that Pauline Kael's review of
Showgirls, in its entirety?
"They’re polished, yet loose and chatty. Profound but fluffy."
Coming this summer to Broadway (or, more likely, Branson):
Watership Down: The Musical!