Daniil Gleikhengauz: "Come back to Sambo and we fix the horror Orser create to your double Axel."

Aerobicidal

Shut that door.
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Ivana Komova’s interview with Daniil Gleikhengauz for OneShrimpIsEnuf.ru

IK: Welcome, hot Daniil. It must be a turbulent season for you between Plushenko’s ruthless poaching of your pupils and adapting to the fake ***** invented by American liberals who eat babies.

DG: Been wondering, actually, how many calories there are in baby. If young and small enough, could be worth suggesting to our nutritionist. Girls get sick of eating shrimp and diet Tang powder, so could be nice change of pace. If baby has over 99 calories, could put in mouth and chew for a moment and then spit out, like with water.

IK: I didn’t realize there was a nutritionist working at Sambo.

DG: Eteri Georgievna, of course. She get certificate at National Azeri University while recovering from procedure at top clinic in Baku. You may remember seeing photos of this facility in postcard videos for Eurovision 2012. Before Plushenko commit the theft, Kostornaia begging me to create free program to Buranovskiye Babushki “Party for Everybody,” but personally I prefer karaoke and dance to Billie Eilish so she does not get to choose.

IK: You have said that your choreographic genius is hindered by two things, lack of sufficient new music coming out and restrictions in the IJS system. Which is more problematic?

DG: IJS system tries to oppress our team many times, such as changing jump bonus and making short program for ladies be what Plushenko call ice dance. We propose all rules and judges of skating be Russian so there is no more attempt to bring us down by Canada and Japan and Australia. As for music, what I say is true but we have sound engineer creating new broken glass, wind sweep, and record scratching sound. Thus even if have to reuse horse of the war like “Go Down Moses” or “Color of Night” or “5, 6, 7, 8,” can make it our own with effects.

IK: I’m glad you have a strategy. On the other hand, Plushenko gave both of the stolen children similar free programs, with the additional insult of adding music made famous by Medvedeva in Kostornaia’s routine.

DG: If it were up to Plushenko and his wife, all programs would be to electronica remix of Father of the God. You see Kostornaia has maybe six percent of transitions would have had in my programs, and unflattering haircut like Jill Trenary run out of mousse. Ever since Kostornaia get first moon blood, she begin to throw sass at everyone. She call Trusova troll doll Rapunzel on crack, she throw Louis Vuitton coats at Eteri, and she develop severe drinking problem where she would swallow nine or ten ounces of water every day. And still, Eteri treated her like the daughter from U.S. film Mommie Dearest.

IK: The media’s agenda against Eteri is disgusting and rooted in lies. We realized, again, how true that is when Medvedeva returned to Sambo.

DG: Exactly. Medvedeva believed she would marry Jason Brown and have most flexible and beloved skater babies. This is why Eteri tell her, go get married. Janny is a seasoned woman but delusional she can get medal at Russian nationals, so Eteri say, I will do whatever I can so to not shatter your illusions. Come back to Sambo and we fix the horror Orser create to your double Axel. And this saintly nutritionist wind up getting a flu cold from Janny, proving Eteri is martyr.

IK: May Eteri’s recovery be swift and complete. On a similar topic, the evil Western media was critical of the way masks appeared at Rostelecom, in addition to the setup of the banquet.

DG: Yes, within this propaganda I see reference to a “dick mask.” We do not have Russian version of this term, yet by complete accident it partly explains the truth. In Russia, a man’s nose is thought of as penis of the fake. Both need to be under few restrictions as possible, or sperm count can go down. Could even become infertile, like Rozanov. Also, our colloquial term for this mask means “soiled diaper,” and men should never be around such an object, whether to change their children or appearing at skating event. For the banquet, frankly if there was actually a ***** going around, athletes should get it immediately for immunity of the herd to be achieved. Skaters are mostly young and immune, so will have few symptoms unless weak and womanly. If Tuktamysheva have to be sacrifice, not much tragedy except for U.S. homosexuals.

IK: Sadly, Shcherbakova was not allowed to win Rostelecom, but what can we expect from her and Valieva later in the scene?

DG: Total domination. Valieva will set new world records at Russia national event, and just like in Korea no doubt top two places in 2022 Olympics go to Sambo. I have many sheets of spread set up in home office running numbers for bronze, and right now looks like Asia is likely to steal the medal—hopefully from Plushenko. But he is more interested in reality TV show Real Yana of Moscow Hills and looking to create fake fight in which woman hurl prosthetic leg at Yana in order to create more viral outrage. Everything is viral with those people. All fake and degenerate.

IK: Finally, how are you and Team Tutberidze going to celebrate the holidays?

DG: First, must thank Team Tutberidze for amazing job on Instagram and Twitter. Western hackers constantly attempt to take over all accounts associated with Eteri Georgievna, but our Team ensures only news that we create is disseminated. We have holiday announcement of many surprises coming in new year. First, we offer new choreography workshops called Hot Daniil Method with training for all willing to pay 750,000 rubles for private thirty minute session with me. Also new supermarket product line of powers and gels called Angels of Tutberidze available in January. During holiday break, I will conquer many women, purchase unique fashions, and spend January first at rink with the feast of the one piece of fruit, our holiday party for the skaters.

IK: That sounds exciting and very enjoyable. Happy holidays to you and everyone else with Team Tutberidze.

DG: Спасибо. пусть свобода звенит!
 

Meoima

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I almost thought this were true, would be close to whatever he truly thinks. :saint:
 

Vagabond

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19,759
I am so glad that Komova is still doing interviews, even in semi-retirement. These were questions that needed to be asked and answered. :)
 

Brenda_Bottems

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732
DG: Been wondering, actually, how many calories there are in baby. If young and small enough, could be worth suggesting to our nutritionist. Girls get sick of eating shrimp and diet Tang powder, so could be nice change of pace. If baby has over 99 calories, could put in mouth and chew for a moment and then spit out, like with water.
I do not pay attention to the Russians. However this statement is offensive, outrageous, and odious,satire or not.

In Russia, a man’s nose is thought of as penis of the fake. Both need to be under few restrictions as possible, or sperm count can go down.
Not only in Russia—I confess I have always preferred a prominent nose.

-BB
 

ЭPiKUilyam

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1,079
I am shocked that he didn't mention the budding flirtation/love match with Anna! This was so boring! Let's get the dish on that!
 

bardtoob

Clichy Competitive Audition Protocol Auditor
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DG: ... You see Kostornaia has maybe six percent of transitions would have had in my programs, and unflattering haircut like Jill Trenary run out of mousse. Ever since Kostornaia get first moon blood, she begin to throw sass at everyone. She call Trusova troll doll Rapunzel on crack, she throw Louis Vuitton coats at Eteri, and she develop severe drinking problem where she would swallow nine or ten ounces of water every day. And still, Eteri treated her like the daughter from U.S. film Mommie Dearest.
🤣
 

MsZem

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16,511
IK: I’m glad you have a strategy. On the other hand, Plushenko gave both of the stolen children similar free programs, with the additional insult of adding music made famous by Medvedeva in Kostornaia’s routine.
The stolen children :rofl:
 

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