CALLING ALL ICE-DANCE PARTNERSHIPS...HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO GET USED TO BEING HELD?

[FSWer]

Say...since we've been talking about how people sometimes feel about being touched,and how some Ice-Dancers have been doing it for years...What I would like to know is what all our Ice-Dance Partnerships here think themselves about when their touched for a Dance,and how long did it take you to get used to it?

 

[overedge]

@FSWer this is a really personal question and I don't think you should be asking it.

How and when to be touched while skating, and how skaters feel about being touched, is something for skaters and coaches to discuss and make decisions about together. It's their own business, not ours.

There might also be people posting here who have been touched in a wrong way by a partner or a coach, and who would not like to be reminded of that.

 

[Clarice]

If I had the feeling that a man was ice dancing with me just because he wanted to be able to touch me or have me in a dance hold, I wouldn't need any time to get used to it because I would refuse to skate with him ever again. That would make me feel very uncomfortable and I would not want to be around that person.

 

[Yazmeen]

FSWer: Ice dancing is not about "touching." It's about skating, whether it is solo or partnered. Partners come together because they have similar skating skills and goals. Not because they are comfortable with being touched.

I will be blunt here: You seem to be focusing only on partnering and holds, about ice dancers touching and holding, not the actual skating itself or even about learning to skate. While many ice dancers do romantic looking programs, they concentrate on SKATING, not holding or touching each other. They are focused on doing the best skating they can do together and how well they can complete their elements and do their programs.

Since you started skating, many of us here have suggested that you focus more on learning to skate, not on getting a partner or what it's like to skate with a partner. You are not going to be allowed to skate with a partner until you can show that you have good skating skills of your own. Being able to do a hold does not make you an ice dancer. I don't know what else can be said here, but when you are a beginning level skater, partners and holds and touching are not where your focus should be. It has to be learning to skate first. Period.

 

[Shyjosie]

I am not an ice dancer and I'm not used to being held. The one thing remotely close to being held I've ever experienced was doing some chassee steps with a training mate during a class lesson when our coach asked us to skate one course around the rink in hold. We both agreed with trying this exercise - if one of us had been uncomfortabel doing so, we would not have done it! We had to concentrate on keeping edges, counting the beats of the rhythm and not to break each others' fingers while "holding" in a simple dance hold. It was good in so far that I got an idea of how hard it is to skate even the most simple steps together.
Getting "used to being held" is something advanced ice dancers and pairs skaters learn after many years of training.
Meanwhile, my mate has been ice dancing in classes furtheron. On his own, solo, without a partner, simply learning the patterns of the compulsory dances, and has become a good, secure skater this way. But despite his huge progress - and this is important for you to know - he is still far from doing partner ice dance.
From a technical point of view, "Holding" someone is not easy when you are a beginner, I'd even say it's impossible. "Being held" doesn't make skating easier, it's pretty much the contrary, but we've discussed this many times already here. From a personal and emotional point of view, holding and being held can be a sensitive matter that needs to be adressed before doing anything together, as everyone here has already pointed out.
I'm happy to be able to skate on my own. No need for complicating this for me, and partnering would make it harder, not easier.