Ekaterina Alexandrovskaya passed away

[MacMadame]

For every story of a happy athlete who loved skating and competing, and won the thing they wanted, and moved on to a happy post-skating career, it seems like there are ten who were crushed by this sport, in one way or another.

I don't think that's accurate at all. For one thing, for every skater we see on TV there are thousands who skate seriously but never get out of regionals, have a great time, then quit to have more of a social life in High School or to go to college.

And this doesn't get into how often the transition from a high level of skating (i.e., the ones who get on tv, get invited to a GP, maybe even get to Worlds) goes just fine and we don't hear about it.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

The stories just keep adding up, and it's unbearable.

It mirrors gymnastics if you ask me.

I’ve had a hard time sleeping the past couple nights because I keep thinking about her. I think it’s important we walk the shoes of other people because we never know what others are going through.

Harley has a story with a link Australia figure skating I believe... trying to raise $10,000 with a go fund me page to flood her funeral with flowers. I think it’s amazing

 

[Kateri]

I don't think that's accurate at all. For one thing, for every skater we see on TV there are thousands who skate seriously but never get out of regionals, have a great time, then quit to have more of a social life in High School or to go to college.

And this doesn't get into how often the transition from a high level of skating (i.e., the ones who get on tv, get invited to a GP, maybe even get to Worlds) goes just fine and we don't hear about it.

I really hope you're right!

 

[PRlady]

Just read this while I'm supposedly zooming in a staff meeting so I hope I don't look as horrified as I feel. I really was so happy for them when they won Junior Worlds, what a terrible ending.

 

[Perky Shae Lynn]

I don't think that's accurate at all. For one thing, for every skater we see on TV there are thousands who skate seriously but never get out of regionals, have a great time, then quit to have more of a social life in High School or to go to college.

And this doesn't get into how often the transition from a high level of skating (i.e., the ones who get on tv, get invited to a GP, maybe even get to Worlds) goes just fine and we don't hear about it.

Non-elite skaters are often much happier, as there is less pressure. My daughter skates for the joy of it. She has zero body image issues, although she's too tall & "big" for elite ice dancing. Her goals are not tied to skating glory. She may want to coach one day, but she's mainy focusing on the academics. It's a very expensive "hobby" but I would rather keep it that way - a hobby. We are around a lot of elite skaters that are downright miserable, constantly dieting and being pressured by the parents to provide "return on investment." Ugh. Makes me sick to even think about it.

 

[Tinami Amori]

I really hope you're right!

Polina Edmunds is a good example. She had high accomplishments but never the Worlds or Olympic Gold, yet she did not become obsessed waiving her feasts "I have to get that Gold and prove it to all". She went to a great local college, made lots of friends, and recently graduated with good respectable degrees in Communications and Business Administration.

Re: Katia. RIP. what a tragedy.

 

[fan]

this might seem crude, but i can't for the life of me remember who else passed away. I know the coach, as well as Ten, Reed, and now sadly Katia. Who else has passed?

 

[maatTheViking]

such a tragedy. rest in peace.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

this might seem crude, but i can't for the life of me remember who else passed away. I know the coach, as well as Ten, Reed, and now sadly Katia. Who else has passed?

Keegan's brother also.

 

[Ananas Astra]

this might seem crude, but i can't for the life of me remember who else passed away. I know the coach, as well as Ten, Reed, and now sadly Katia. Who else has passed?

John Coughlin...

A couple of years ago I also stumbled over the news that former Russian ice dancer Inna Ladyagina has also passed away at a very young age. No idea about the cause of death, tho.

 

[bethy135]

I'm so terribly sorry that she was in so much pain. I am so sorry for her loved ones.

 

[Coco]

S/M's coach, Jean-Francoise Ballester, also passed away suddenly.

 

[Sylvia]

Former Australian ice dancer Greg Merriman has organised a fundraiser to send flowers to Katia's funeral and help her family with funeral costs. You can find it here if you'd like to contribute: https://www.gofundme.com/f/ekaterin...m=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

Now over $6,400 raised!

 

[MacMadame]

I'm so terribly sorry that she was in so much pain. I am so sorry for her loved ones.

Yes, I really feel for her plus suicide is very painful for those left behind because of all the what-ifs.

Btw, I am not saying skating has no problems just that I find the idea that for every 1 mentally healthy former-skater there are 10 damaged ones to not be my experience at all. It's more the other way around.

 

[Willowway]

I'm so terribly sorry that she was in so much pain. I am so sorry for her loved ones.

Exactly bethy. To imagine a young woman in so much pain that she couldn't envision an alternative or a way to improve her situation is so profoundly sad.

 

[Lanie]

And then the current situation could not have made it any easier.

I know several people who have killed themselves in the past few months. I have tried multiple times myself. It isn't just oh, I am in a bad mood or oh, I am sad, I can snap out of it. Even therapy doesn't always help (I'm one example of that; my therapist is worthless).

Then add in losing your identity as an athlete, struggling and trying to make a new life for yourself--it's all so hard. It isn't surprising all of this comes crashing down on a young person at the peak of their youth, where they have dedicated their lives to something looking around wondering, What now? They need so much more support than they get but it is hard when mental health is still stigmatized. 'Look how lucky you are! Stop it! You're an idiot! Stop being so selfish!'

 

[MacMadame]

(I'm one example of that; my therapist is worthless).

You aren't alone in having that experience. Lots of people in my family struggle with mental illness and their experiences are that the right therapist can be a lifesaver but it's not always easy to find that.

Please keep trying, Lanie.

 

[jlai]

So many skaters have discussed how hard retirement is because of the way skating can dominate their lives. It must be 1000x worse if it's not voluntary.

I'm still in shock.

It's crazy to think that of the ~150 athletes who competing at the 2018 Olympics in skating, all of whom were fairly young and in great shape, three are now dead.

Who is the third person (other than Reed and Ekaterina
)?

 

[Sylvia]

Who is the third person (other than Reed and Ekaterina)?

Denis Ten who died 2 years ago yesterday.

Last month Shae-Lynn Bourne shared a clip of him skating a program she had choreographed: https://www.fsuniverse.net/forum/th...honor-denis-memory.105772/page-2#post-5821695

 

[jlai]

Denis Ten who died 2 years ago yesterday.

That's right. I lost track of time.

 

[misskarne]

Now over $6,400 raised!

Just a smidge under $8,000 in 12 hours! A lot of very familiar names on the donation list.

 

[bethy135]

And then the current situation could not have made it any easier.

I know several people who have killed themselves in the past few months. I have tried multiple times myself. It isn't just oh, I am in a bad mood or oh, I am sad, I can snap out of it. Even therapy doesn't always help (I'm one example of that; my therapist is worthless).

Then add in losing your identity as an athlete, struggling and trying to make a new life for yourself--it's all so hard. It isn't surprising all of this comes crashing down on a young person at the peak of their youth, where they have dedicated their lives to something looking around wondering, What now? They need so much more support than they get but it is hard when mental health is still stigmatized. 'Look how lucky you are! Stop it! You're an idiot! Stop being so selfish!'

Hugs, Lanie. I totally agree that sometimes it's not just as simple as "getting help." Lots of times people who say "just get help" really have no idea how complex another person's situation and pain are. It is very personal and very real and for some the pain is simply too much to endure over a long lifetime. Please know that I hear you and understand what you mean. <3

 

[Lanie]

Yes, 'get help' is well and good and I am not going to speak for Katya or anyone else, but it feels--to me--'Get help, I don't really care to hear how you feel or listen to you speak about it, it's not my problem' when often going to friends is the first thing hypothetical you would want to do. Someone you can just start talking to, to get on that path to help; and often, so often, it feels hopeless, like nobody is listening. I can imagine how much harder it would be to be an athlete--your life is perfect, you're so talented, you get to do what you love--and you lose that, people still saying similar things to you when you struggle and are suffering. You feel, maybe, you can't be open about it. You can't talk about it--it's selfish, maybe, because life is great, isn't it?! It breaks my heart knowing how many athletes, amazing people, struggle and so many just refuse to listen.

I know you all understand, but gosh, so many people don't and it's frustrating. I can't imagine how difficult it must be as an athlete to suffer in silence.

 

[Taso]

I am so, so sorry to read this and learn that she is gone. May she rest in peace

 

[Perky Shae Lynn]

Yes, 'get help' is well and good and I am not going to speak for Katya or anyone else, but it feels--to me--'Get help, I don't really care to hear how you feel or listen to you speak about it, it's not my problem' when often going to friends is the first thing hypothetical you would want to do. Someone you can just start talking to, to get on that path to help; and often, so often, it feels hopeless, like nobody is listening.

I totally get it. In many ways, "get help" is outsourcing compassion. Women used to be the foundation of empathy in society. It was our essential job. Now we are overwhelmed with life's challenges and don't make time to listen and provide support to others. Yes, getting help is important - but will accomplish nothing in a vacuum. If someone doesn't feel valued and understood because THEY ARE NOT, counseling and medication can do so much.

So Lanie, on this note - I love your posts and FSU would not be the same without your thoughtful comments. Your bright mind and shining spirit make this place better for all of us.

 

[Wyliefan]

Much love to you, @Lanie. ❤

 

[Vash01]

I have been out of touch. I knew that she and Harley were not skating together anymore but this is a huge shock. I found out just a few minutes earlier of her passing. Just 20 years old! That’s way too young-even younger than Sergei Grinkov. I can’t imagine what her family must be going through. My deepest condolences to them.
R.I.P. Katia.

 

[Japanfan]

I totally get it. In many ways, "get help" is outsourcing compassion.

It can also be an acknowledgement that one can't give a friend the help that s/he needs. One can be compassionate and also recommend professional help.

 

[misskarne]

The GoFundMe has reached just under $11,000 in less than 24 hours.

Greg posted that Katia's family is very grateful for the assistance with the funeral costs, and the flowers. The funeral will be on 23 July.

 

[Bunny Hop]

Because of course, I just realised. Harley and the other Team Australia skaters won't be able to go to the funeral. Our border is shut tight. I hope there will be some way they can attend virtually.

There will be a celebration of Katya's life in the park outside Canterbury Ice Rink on Sunday morning. The details are on the rink's Facebook page if anyone wants them.