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What to play at your mother's funeral

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Jot the Dot Dot, Oct 12, 2010.

  1. Jot the Dot Dot

    Jot the Dot Dot Headstrong Buzzard

    I know this is a sad topic, but I got to thinking about it, having heard the sad news about my Dad several years ago. Amazing Grace never ceased to bring an emotion from Mom (still alive, thank God). It was even played at Spock's funeral in The Wrath Of Khan!
  2. uyeahu

    uyeahu Agitator. Sharpie lover (figuratively speaking).

    My mom wanted Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum. And she got it.
  3. CDANN1013

    CDANN1013 Active Member

    Mom told me that she wanted to hymns played at her funeral. One I can't remember to this day and the other was Hail Mary, Gentle Woman.

  4. ChelleC

    ChelleC Well-Known Member

    We've never discussed it. I know she would want hymns, possibly Amazing Grace and Old Ship of Zion.
  5. Spiralgraph

    Spiralgraph Well-Known Member

    When my mom passed away two years ago. I remember her saying years before that she wanted Panis Angelicus. So that was one of the hymns we selected.
  6. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Hit ball, find ball, hit it again.

    My mother wanted Ave Maria. If I make it past 80, I'll want Forever Young as a reminder to the living.
  7. Aceon6

    Aceon6 Hit ball, find ball, hit it again.

    I think I would have really liked your mom.
    uyeahu and (deleted member) like this.
  8. LilJen

    LilJen Reaching out with my hand sensitively

    My mom doesn't want a lot of hymns and a formal service--though she herself is very religious, she fears this would turn off the rest of our (totally unreligious except for me) family. I'm like, 'don't you want a memorial service to reflect who you are?' Thoughtful, but I think there can be some balance, and no, attendees shouldn't be forced to shuffle back and forth in The Book of Common Prayer (Rite I? Rite II? Which reading? Huh?), but come on, include SOMETHING that is meaningful and dear to you!
  9. FigureSpins

    FigureSpins Well-Known Member

    DH and I have handled the liturgy for our parents as well as various aunts & uncles who passed on. Two that we like in particular are "We Will Build A City of God" and "(He Will Lift You Up) On Angel's Wings."

    Both very nice songs with an upbeat message of going to Heaven, and eventual resurrection.

    It's incredible that kids associate strong emotions with songs played at events. When they hear certain songs at Mass, it makes the kids a little sad to remember those funerals and who we said goodbye to on those days. "Angel's Wings" sets off my oldest daughter every time she hears it, and she's almost 21.

    At my uncle and my mother's funerals, they both wanted "Edelweiss" played, so we used it as the recessional. So, you don't have to use only church hymns, even at a Catholic service.
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2010
  10. KCC

    KCC Well-Known Member

    I have a CD of beautiful dulcimer music, with one of my favorite songs on it being "All is Well With My Soul". We gave a copy of the CD to our local funeral home after several people commented that it was very peaceful and comforting.
  11. genegri

    genegri Active Member

    I debated between Amazing Grace and In the Arms of an Angel. In the end, I chose a folks song.

    Today would have been her 70's birthday. Happy birthday, mom!
  12. skatemommy

    skatemommy Well-Known Member

    I want "I Can Only Imagine" and "Fly to Jesus (the untitled song)". I guess I should write this down somewhere.
  13. Kasey

    Kasey Correcting President Trump's grammar on Twitter :)

    My mom wants "I believe in Love" by Don Williams.
  14. susan6

    susan6 Well-Known Member

    My mom wanted "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.
  15. KatieC

    KatieC So peaceful

    I picked with the help of the minister for my mum -
    The Strife is O're, (for someone after a long illness)
    Abide With Me, (my favourite)
    Silent Night (Mum died at Christmas.)
    Jesus Christ is Risen Today.

    Dad's was
    The King of Love My Shepherd is,
    Abide With Me,
    For the Beauty of the Earth.

    I find funerals very comforting sometimes.
  16. ebayj

    ebayj Well-Known Member

    My mother (she died last year) wanted only the same hymn that was performed at her mother's funeral in the early 1950s - Den Store Hvitte Flok (Behold a Host, arrayed in white) - and I built outward from that to a stunning and fitting group of hymns recorded by the Oslo (Norway) DomKor.

    Jot - ask her what she wants. That is the most important thing. If it is not comfortable, talk about what you want at yours. That will make it easier.
  17. John 3 17

    John 3 17 Well-Known Member

    I love both of those. "Fly" is so precious.

  18. Gypsy

    Gypsy Watching the Leaves Change!

    A woman I work with (and I am not kidding) has actually put it in writing and had it notarized so that her daughter goes thru with it.

    She wants "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" played at her funeral!!:yikes:
    immoimeme and (deleted member) like this.
  19. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

    :p I can think of a few people that should have that played at their funerals, and it would be if I were allowed to choose. But why would someone choose it herself? Humor or true self-awareness???
    Gypsy and (deleted member) like this.
  20. professordeb

    professordeb Well-Known Member

    Count me in as another who wants I Can Only Imagine. I also want East to West by Casting Crowns. I asked son (who has a lovely singing voice - a gift he refuses to use) if he would sing them for me but his response "mom, I don't think I could sing on that day". Then there's the old hymn It Is Well With My Soul. If I have Amazing Grace, I'd like to sung to the tune of either The Lion Sleeps Tonight or House of the Rising Sun. I've heard it done by the College & Career group I belonged to back when I was in my 20's (which was about 30 years ago) and I simply loved the way it sounded. I realize this may sound kind of wierd but I've had a warped sense of humour for years so why not celebrate it at my funeral - since this is supposed to be a celebration of my life.
  21. Gypsy

    Gypsy Watching the Leaves Change!


    The woman has a wicked sense of humor!
  22. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    I love, love the untitled hymn/song whatever. Makes me cry every time I hear it
  23. taf2002

    taf2002 zexy demon

    Am I the only one who finds this thread seriously creepy, esp since the OP still has his mother & apparently she's not even sick. Why would you think about what to play at your well mother's funeral?
    Matryeshka and (deleted member) like this.
  24. mmscfdcsu

    mmscfdcsu Skating Pairs with Drew

    Not really. I think it is fine to prepare. I wish I had had more say in my mother's funeral. :(

    I do find the title odd. Every time I see it, I want to answer Hopscotch or Bridge. Playing at a funeral could make it much more fun. ;):wideeyes:
  25. KatieC

    KatieC So peaceful

    My parents didn't mention anything about their funerals beforehand. I haven't considered what I'd like at mine either. But I talk to people every week who are trying to make things easier on their spouses should they go first, (with finances and procedures), which I heartily agree with. Everything done before makes things easier after, so why not pick things out? It's the only time I've ever got to actually pick the music for anything - so that was cool in a way.
  26. Nora_Charles

    Nora_Charles New Member

    Based on that, I think your mom rocks! :respec:
  27. skatemommy

    skatemommy Well-Known Member

    "I Can Only Imagine" does that to me to. I've had to pull over my car...:wuzrobbed. The hospital chaplain and I sang the chorus of "Fly..." when my dad was taken off of life support. I failed a Gold dance while he was in the hospital. After he passed, I passed my last Gold dance for my Gold medal and prayed to "dance for Jesus". I publicly thanked them both in the lobby of the ice rink.
  28. Karina1974

    Karina1974 Well-Known Member


    I like that! My almost-70 buddy and I talked about this. He says he doesn't want any "dirge music" played for him - only jazz, classic R&B and soul. He wants to be celebrated, not mourned.
  29. Civic

    Civic New Member

    I'd want the following songs sung at my funeral:

    Soon and Very Soon
    In Paradisium from Faure's Requiem
    To Reign in Jerusalem (an old spiritual)
  30. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    For me, it would be "To Where You Are". I know that some people feel that Josh Groban is kind of cheesy, but this song says so much. My Mom is still here (thankfully), but I lost my Dad two years ago and this song makes me feel like he's with me.