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The Hackenthorpe Book of Figure Skating Lies

Discussion in 'The Trash Can' started by snoopysnake, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Are you familiar with The Hackenthorpe Book of Lies by Monty Python? I just discovered some facts, I mean, lies, out of the unpublished book, The Hackenthorpe Book of Figure Skating Lies! Here they are! Can you find more? You can't prove that they aren't lies! Honest!

    Did you know that:

    Dick Button actually has a full head of shoulder-length hair? He wears a mostly-bald wig because ABC forced him to as part of his announcing contracts.

    Ottavio Cinquanta auditioned as an ice-dance partner for Carol Heiss (Jenkins)? Her father rejected the idea.

    The Protopopovs received 315 write-in votes for President/VP in the 1968 US Presidential Election? Her for Prez, him for VP. Most of the votes were from Vermont.

    Trixi Schuba could do a quad axel? She didn’t want to show off, so she left it out of her free program.

    John Curry owned 34,228 Old English Sheepdogs? All but two of them were in his home watching him on TV winning Gold in 1976.

    Lisa Marie Allen is six feet, eleven and three-quarter inches tall? She appeared shorter due to clever costume designing.

    Brian Boitano taught Civil Engineering at Cal Tech for the fall semester in 1989 and has a standing place should he wish to return?

    The reason Lu Chen almost didn’t qualify for Worlds one year was because she was on the Space Shuttle for 46 weeks and had no training ice?

    Barbara Fusar-Poli’s first husband was Larry King?

    Timothy Goebel is now playing Third Base for the St. Louis Cardinals?

    Fumie Suguri is in the Guinness Book of World Records for catching a 4,763 pound rainbow trout on a day off from Champions on Ice?

    Gregor Urbas has five toes on one foot and nine on the other? The extra toes are slender and line up perfectly, enabling him to wear ordinary shoes out of the box with no discomfort.

    Jeff Buttle is the Canadian Ambassador to Kazhakstan and has twice won the Pulitzer Prize for Biography?

    Yu-Na Kim loves Tim Horton’s Coffee so much that she drinks 28 cups before every meal?
  2. Jot the Dot Dot

    Jot the Dot Dot Headstrong Buzzard

  3. falling_dance

    falling_dance Coaching Patrick

    And did you know that:

    Bestemianova and Bukin never wore makeup in performance?

    Gary Beacom is the NDP premier of Alberta?

    Janet Lynn is a confirmed atheist?

    Beatrix Schuba's School Figures is the highest-rated performing arts broadcast in the history of US public television?

    Rex and slicekw are eleven-time US champions in ice dancing and, with Sparks and siouxdonym, thirteen-time Canadian champions in fours? The team's signature program is "Love's Theme", by Barry White & the Love Unlimited Orchestra.

    Japan has never sent a singles skater to compete at the Olympics before?

    A badger was President of the ISU from 1980 to 1994?

    Pierre Boulez is a tremendously outspoken fan of the sport?
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2010
    kwanfan1818 and (deleted member) like this.
  4. SkateElectric

    SkateElectric New Member

    Hmmm, how about some of my own:

    Kyra Ivanova was actually a wine-tasting expert and put in many, many hours of overtime.

    Surya Bonaly had breast-implants and was a contestant on America's Next Top Model.

    Maya Usova currently owns a Llama farm in Rhode Island where she spends her free time brushing their fur.
  5. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Did you know that?

    Ryan Jahnke owns the Ford Motor Company?

    Brian Joubert is the inventor of microfiber?

    Peggy Fleming appeared on 516 episodes of Leave It To Beaver between 1957 and 1963, always as a student in Beaver's class and never once speaking a line?

    Queen Elizabeth II has a huge crush on both members of the Duchesnays?

    Brian Orser is Archbishop of London, Ontario in the Roman Catholic Church?

    Torvill and Dean are actually fraternal twins fathered by Sean Connery?

    Takahiko Kozuka has five paintings hanging the The Louvre and is actually fifty-one years old? (He does his own makeup, proof of his great painting skill.)

    The Ped Egg and the Furminator were both invented by Elena Sokolova's cat?

    Alban Preaubert won the Eurovision song contest at the age of six months?
  6. TalentedButHumble

    TalentedButHumble Well-Known Member

    And much more popular than Speedy.
    feetwerk and (deleted member) like this.
  7. Mafke

    Mafke Well-Known Member

    Boy, do I miss that badger!
  8. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member


    Cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, cuidadoooooooooooo....hay llamas!
  9. Jot the Dot Dot

    Jot the Dot Dot Headstrong Buzzard

    Rachael Flatt conducted an autopsy on Dick Buttons while he was still alive.
  10. DanRad

    DanRad New Member

    Dorothy Hamill is a gay male hiding underneath that wedge cut hair.
  11. Mafke

    Mafke Well-Known Member

    Michelle Kwan was once the goomar of the number 3 mafia leader of western Connecticut.

    Evan Lysacek was found in a forest at the age of 4 having been raised by squirrels.

    Peggy Fleming volunteered for two years with Mother Theresa.

    Elvis Stojko can hold three eggs in his mouth at one time.
  12. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Dorothy Hamill cuts her own hair by doing a super-fast spin in a "Charlotte" position with her head so close to the blade that it cuts her hair as she spins.
  13. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Todd Eldredge has his own brand of fish-flavored yogurt sold only in Brazil, with his picture on every container.
  14. beepbeep

    beepbeep Brazilian Eurotrash

    Ahhh, the unforgettable experience of llama spit... :lol: (#machu_picchiu_memories)

    During his Harvard years, Dick Button was quite known for his jello shots.
    This was the best I could come up with:p
  15. kimkom

    kimkom Two Pot Screamer

    :rofl: He should never have take them out. :p
    snoopysnake and (deleted member) like this.
  16. essence_of_soy

    essence_of_soy Well-Known Member

    Anne Patrice McDonough made her own costumes.

    Jill Trenary didn't have big hair. She actually trained two cats to bouffant on top of her head.

    Midori Ito was actually a male Bulgarian midget weightlifter.

    Caryn Kadavy actually won Worlds in 1987, but Katarina Witt refused to concede first place on the podium to her.

    Marjorie Chin carried a copy of Mommie Dearest around in her handbag for guidance.

    P J Kwong, known for her formidable multi - tasking broadcasting skills, is actually the Dionne quintuplets, but hasn't let on.

    Peggy Fleming is color - blind. Her favourite color isn't chartreuse, but burgundy.
  17. Mafke

    Mafke Well-Known Member

    Dick Button once considered a career as a professional juggler.

    Todd Eldridge sold insurance door to door to finance his skating.

    Sasha Cohen's family emigrated from Russia due to suspicions of being werewolves.

    Scott Hamilton once heavily invested in professional gnu ranching.

    Nancy Kerrigan appeared on four different episodes of Star Trek, the Next Generation! that were never aired.

    Kristi Yamaguchi's secret hobbies are knitting bowling ball covers and driving monster trucks.

    Michelle Kwan can sleep standing up and in fact once fell asleep on the podium and had to be nudged awake by the other medalists.

    Brian Joubert has a crippling fear of door handles.
  18. Jot the Dot Dot

    Jot the Dot Dot Headstrong Buzzard

    Sinead Kerr has a most peculiar eating disorder: Only thing she eats is haggis.
  19. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Johnny Weir was conceived on Splash Mountain at Disney World?

    Debi Thomas performed a triple heart bypass operation on her coach during mens’s compulsory figures at the 1988 Winter Olympics?

    John Misha Petkevich is the only figure skater to win a World Ice Dance Silver Medal skating by himself?

    Scott Hamilton had a full scholarship to study Opera at Juilliard?

    Carolina Kostner can only speak French; she cannot speak Italian?

    Jamie Sale sang the lead vocal on the CD that Davis and White used for their Indian Original Dance?

    Dick Button was the official spokesmodel for Levi’s 501 Blues until 1997? He also has the zippers in all of his other trousers replaced with buttons.

    Kevin Van Der Perren soaks his feet in ketchup every night before he goes to bed?

    Dan Zhang and Hao Zhang are the official distributors of Omaha Steaks in China?
  20. Wyliefan

    Wyliefan Well-Known Member

    Rachael Flatt already has her Ph.D. in molecular biology. The media just doesn't mention it because no one would believe she got her doctorate in six weeks while practicing for nationals.

    Irina Slutskaya turned down Dick Button's invitation to skate pairs with him at the 2002 Olympics.
  21. SkateElectric

    SkateElectric New Member

    Researchers have recently detected a strong link between pinching rosy cheeks and a disease known as vasculitis...
  22. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    And did you know that:

    The salchow is the only jump where the quint is actually easier to achieve than the quad?

    Jeremy Abbott has a superstition where he paints every other toenail black before he competes? If he wins, he removes all the nail polish afterwards. If he loses, he paints the others red and keeps it that way until his next competition.

    Tomas Verner has a huge tattoo of a cactus on his left hip?

    Caroline Zhang's all-time favorite skater is Trixi Schuba?

    Ashley Wagner's favorite mixed drink is Sprite and coffee?

    Emanuel Sandhu prefers sleeping in a bathtub rather than a bed?

    Irina Slutskaya wanted to give birth on horseback?
  23. Braulio

    Braulio Pleasantly pleasing with Peggy

    Rachael Flatt and Kevin Reynolds are identical twins separated at birth but were taken to differente sides of the border so NBC couldn´t make tons of fluff on ´sibblings going to the Olympics´shit?
  24. Fozzie Bear

    Fozzie Bear Well-Known Member

    Did you know that:

    Michelle Kwan's middle name is Mildred?

    Nancy Kerrigan was Julia Robert's stunt double in Erin Brockovich?

    Alexei Yagudin is actually Dick Button's grandfather's neighbor from a previous life?
  25. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Kurt Browning was born in 2054 and is aging backwards?

    Tanith and Ben are not U.S. citizens; they are Korean?

    Karel Zalenka really does have five? (See 2006 Worlds costume.)

    Speedy Cinquanta came in 1567th place in Men's at the 1943 Europeans?

    Maya Usova's paternal-paternal great-grandmother was a dragon?

    Johnny Weir stole his glove, "Camille," from Frank Carroll's private collection?
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2010
  26. SkateElectric

    SkateElectric New Member

    And did you know that?

    Sandra Bezic invented botox.

    Qing Pang spends her free time running a blog for sumo wrestlers.

    Victoria Volchkova suffers from a rare balance disorder; she actually stuffs her bra to help give her proper spinal alignment.
  27. pinky166

    pinky166 #teamtrainwreck #teamdiva

    Nobunari Oda has been known to secretly take HGH to increase his size and musculature.

    Yuna Kim eats three Snickers bars before every long program at a competition to give her an energy boost.

    Tomas Verner gets paid extra every time he screws up his LP.

    Mao is dating Edward Cullen, and because he is a vampire he often bites her neck and gives her hickeys and so she wears choker necklines in all of her costumes to hide those marks.

    Christina Gao is a body builder in her spare time.
  28. kukkura

    kukkura Active Member

    All the skating costumes Eric Millot ever wore were from the wardrobe of the movie Les parapluies de Cherbourg.

    Claudia Kristofics-Binder could spin in two directions at the same time but was told not to by the Austrian federation.

    Jenni Meno is the secret mother of Blanket Jackson.

    Stefan Lindemann has designed fonts since the age of 6 and his best known typefaces are Verdana and Comic Sans.
    snoopysnake and (deleted member) like this.
  29. snoopysnake

    snoopysnake Well-Known Member

    Furthermore, did you know that:

    Michael Weiss was taught tap-dancing by the Nicholas Brothers in the early 1980's and was juvenile boys tap champion from 1984-1997?

    Madonna is Adam Rippon's grandmother?

    Emily Hughes has her own vegetable garden on the roof of Sky Rink?

    Evgeni Plushenko is the current owner of snoopysnake's first car, a 1978 Dodge Omni?

    Steven Cousins has been married to every skater who's ever been in the Grand Prix Ladies' final?

    Toller Cranston is deathly afraid of Kellogg's Rice Krispies?

    Every year on her vacation Maria Butryskaya paddles a canoe the entire length of the Mississippi River?

    Robin Szolkowy and Miki Ando are both Swedish and are 6th cousins?

    Charlie Tickner is the founder and CEO ex-officio of Ticketmaster?

    Rosalynn Sumners' real last name is Wintners?
  30. IceJunkie

    IceJunkie Well-Known Member

    Did you know that...

    Emanuel Sandhu once played semi-professional hockey in Finland as the team's enforcer?

    Michelle Kwan is working on an exhibition number with Jeffrey Buttle and Stephane Lambiel to the music of Britney Spears' "3"?

    Sasha Cohen moonlights as a waitress at a Pomona, CA Dave and Buster's to make ends meet?

    Tatiana Totmianina served two years in a Russian prison for smuggling illegal elephant tusks into the country?