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Temper Tantrum Wife - "I just want to go to the lake!"

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by ilovepaydays, Jul 26, 2013.

  1. ilovepaydays

    ilovepaydays Well-Known Member

    Wow. And they only got married 14 months ago.

    The video
    Story from the The Young Turks
    Story from Right This Minute
    Temper tantrum wife claims husband is a big bully after uploading viral video of her hissy fit

    I don't think either of these two people are winners. As awful as she behaved, now everyone knows he is willing to record and expose any argument that he has. I don't think any woman would (or at least should) trust him. If being in a relationship isn't working, just end it, learn from it, and move on - privately.
  2. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

    Yes. Awful as her temper tantrum was to obverse, we really don't know of the context/set of circumstances leading up to it.
  3. DarrellH

    DarrellH New Member

    Spoiled child
  4. Whitneyskates

    Whitneyskates Well-Known Member

    Aww, someone missed nap time :violin:
  5. genevieve

    genevieve drinky typo pbp, closet hugger Staff Member

    She seems like she's got major problems, but he comes across as a complete douche, baiting her to keep the tantrum going.
  6. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

    As ridiculous as her tantrum was, his massive breach of trust bothers me a lot more.
  7. liv

    liv Well-Known Member

    I think her tantrum is worse. I think he checked out of this marriage before this and is showing what she is probably always like just in case people think she's the damaged party. That being said, I don't have much respect for him either for putting this up on youtube. nasty.
  8. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    Yup, I wouldn't want to know either of them. :p
  9. jenny12

    jenny12 Well-Known Member

    What a douche he is! Yeah, the tantrum was bad, but publicly shaming your wife is worse, IMO.

    However, as others have mentioned, the video might have very well been staged.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2013
  10. julieann

    julieann Well-Known Member

    I'm starting to be very skeptical of many 'viral' videos, I think most of them are as staged as 'reality' tv.
    milanessa and (deleted member) like this.
  11. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    I think she is much worse. Her behavior is absolutely despicable. Yeah, it was a douchy thing to videotape her and put it online but seriously, if she didn't act like that then he would have had nothing to put online. The vibe I got is that he is sick of it and is tired of her telling everyone how awful he is (she admitted she talked about him at work and admitted to posting about their issues on Facebook and to texting her friends) so he decided to fight fire with fire. If she wants to tell everyone how mean he is to her then he can show them how she behaves. He kept his cool and really handled her well, IMO. He could have easily pulled the truck over and told her to walk her whiny you-know-what to the lake.
  12. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

    Would people feel the same way if this woman was diagnosed with a mental illness? I think anyone putting this online, to try and deliberately humiliate someone, is disgusting. He's obviously egging her on. I am not convinced that this is real, but I do think some things should be worked through privately.

    He kept his cool because he had an agenda. He wanted to put it online to humiliate his wife. We have no idea what the real life reaction would be. He doesn't like his wife having tantrums, yet he couldn't think of a better way of dealing with it. Both behaviours are out of line, but his has malice. He could have pulled over and let her out of the truck and told her to get herself to the lake, but that wouldn't make a good video - he needed to keep calm and egging her on and saying how much this was all over nothing. We have no idea what happened before this. Fighting fire with fire in these kinds of case is childish. He wanted to look like the good guy.

    What would people say if she killed herself over this tomorrow? Would her husband then be considered a bully?
  13. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    What if he killed himself tomorrow because his wife wouldn't stop screaming and crying every time she didn't get her way? I don't see how he was egging her on by keeping his calm and saying she was freaking out over nothing. Stating the truth is egging someone on? He should have yelled back and called her names? We have absolutely no way to know that he only kept his cool because he was filming. She most certainly didn't seem to act as if he was not being his usual self. She never once asked him why he was being quiet, or calm, etc. It seemed like she thought it was the norm.
  14. MacMadame

    MacMadame Cat Lady-in-Training

    I've seen plenty of relationships where one party pokes and pokes at the other until they get a reaction then plays it cool so they look like the sane one. If he really wanted the tantrum to be over saying "you're freaking out over nothing" is not the way to get it to stop. That's a way to provoke someone by telling them they are in the wrong. It's just going to infuriate them even more.
  15. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

    He's egging her on by laughing at her and keeping the "conversation" going, he baits her. He wanted to video her to humiliate her, publicly, and he did. He's a bully. I am really surprised, and appalled, that anyone could possibly think he handled this well. He didn't want it to end, he wanted the more dramatic the better, that's why he kept it going, that's why he videoed.

    ETA: MacMadame, we were posting at the same time, but ITA.
  16. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    I just have no sympathy for anyone that acts like a complete child. Temper tantrums will get you no where with me so maybe I have a hard time seeing anything he did wrong because I can't get over her disgusting behavior. I can put up with a lot but an adult acting like that is unforgivable to me.
  17. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

    Have you ever experienced an anxiety attack? Known anyone with a mental illness? Or just had one of those days? All of these things can mean an adult could have a meltdown.

    This should have been a private meltdown. It wasn't in public. She was deliberately humiliated by her husband making this public; he's a bully - THAT is unforgivable IMO.
  18. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

    I agree with you, and I'll echo that he's also a dork, and likely a passive-aggressive one at that. The wife already has a DUI, yet she's demanding that he drive her to the lake so that he can blow into the interlock device in their car afterward. In other words, she wanted to get sauced again, and he was expected to play designated driver. Oh, and he needs to buy her cigarettes first. Is it any wonder he chose to do yard work instead?

    Even more creepy is that the wife is a nurse. Not the kind of person you want caring for your Grandma.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2013
  19. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    I have definitely had anxiety attacks but I can't remember having an anxiety attack because I didn't get my way.

    I didn't get what she meant when she mentioned her interlock device on her car. I didn't realize those are for people with DUIs. How did you figure out that she is a nurse? I missed that comment or it must be in one of the articles.

    I really do get what you are all saying and why you think he is so disgusting but for me, her behavior was much worse. I don't know why but she just rubbed me the wrong way big time and I guess because of that I can easily over look any fault of his in this situation.
  20. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

    Several articles about her mention that she is a nurse anesthetist with a Masters degree.
  21. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

    That doesn't sound like a likely scenario. I agree that "what if someone killed themselves over this" isn't a strong argument, but it doesn't excuse his actions in going public with this. It's mean and unnecessary.

    If you're married to someone awful and the relationship can't be salvaged, then end it. But don't humiliate them like this. The only place where it might be appropriate to share such a thing is if they were in therapy and wanted to talk it out there, or possibly as part of divorce proceedings. Not online to anyone who wants to watch.

    I see they're getting divorced, which is probably for the best. I hope she gets some counseling, because it certainly looks like she needs some serious help.
  22. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

    As does he. She'll need even more help now, in addition to whatever she had before, now she'll probably have major trust issues.

    BigB - I never said this was caused from anxiety - I said that anxiety is one thing than can cause adults (and children) to have meltdowns and react in a way that some would consider to be childish. So can things like HRT, mental issues, a whole range of things.

    My issue here is that, regardless of the fact it's a major tantrum, by an adult, it's a major tantrum IN PRIVATE. She's not in a shopping mall, or airport, she's in her car, with her husband. If he feels he needs to video this to prove to some people why he wants a divorce (even though she is the one who has filed for divorce, though I think he filed for a restraining order), then that's a problem he has, feeling insecure and needing to give others reasons for decisions that are between him and his wife. He took her private meltdown and made it public for his own gain - to humiliate her.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2013
  23. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    Commenters on Gawker had a good point - why did he let her into the car to begin with, if he was going to do errands and she thought they were going to the lake? If it been a healthy relationship, they would have discussed where they were going BEFORE they started to drive off.

    He wanted to trap her and goad her into reacting badly. This probably isn't the first time he did it either.

    He wanted to prove how crazy she was, and he got it. But it certainly wasn't by honest means. And it doesn't put him in a good light either, since he laughed about ruining her professional reputation. Immature jerk.

    Yup, it's even got a name: gaslighting.

    Yup. I bet most people can really bug out, if provoked enough. Those two are just bad for each other, and getting divorced is the best idea for both of them. I give them that much credit, instead of staying in an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

    But this was a private moment and him putting it out on YouTube instead of just giving it to the divorce judge is beyond the pale.
  24. Gil-Galad

    Gil-Galad Well-Known Member

    At some points during that video I actually thought that this could be an anxiety attack, or a meltdown as part of an agitated depression (I don't think this is an official diagnosis anymore). But I have seen anxiety attacks - adjusting your dress and your hair during the meltdown? Whipping out the smartphone, wanting to text your friends about it / post on facebook at the end of it? Nope, I don't remember people doing that.

    Of course it's simply impossible to determine what really went on. And it's certainly not classy to post this video, it shows a certain callousness, that could also be a sign of a mental problem / personality disorder. Just like her behaviour made me think of this. Or they are just two normal people, who turned out to be incompatible and this was simply the culmination of that fact. I certainly remember getting angry about absolutely stupid stuff in relationships, that normally would never bother me much - and I am pretty even-tempered.
  25. Prancer

    Prancer Slave to none, master to all Staff Member

    Yes, the whole thing reminds me of those parents who try to talk their toddlers out of tantrums; the combination of attention and refusal to take the tantrum seriously always escalate the tantrums.

    If she does her job well, she can take care of my grandma any time.
  26. DarrellH

    DarrellH New Member

    As long as Grandma takes her to the lake...and buys her cigarettes.
    shan and (deleted member) like this.
  27. Zemgirl

    Zemgirl Well-Known Member

    I agree, and that's why the publication of the video was so unfair to her. Having a fight with her husband in her free time, even one in which she acts like this, is entirely irrelevant to her ability to do her job. All that should matter in that context is whether she is a good nurse, but she will now be judged based on the video rather than based on her competence and abilities.

    I see the husband as being a fairly small step up from people who publish revenge porn of their exes following a breakup. Some things should stay private.
  28. heckles

    heckles Well-Known Member

    Eh, a number of jobs that require contact with vulnerable people involve pre-employment background checks for sound reasons. You wouldn't want a man who molested his own kids working with yours even though his previous victimizing had been done on his own time. We already know that this woman has a serious anxiety issue, a DUI and continued desire to get hammered. She's a lawsuit on legs.
  29. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

    That's because a toddler can't control themselves yet. An adult should. It doesn't matter if you're in private or not. I'd have slapped her.

    And if she's got a DUI and has to pitch a fit to try and dodge the interlock on her car, no, I don't want her working as a nurse. Yeah, MAYBE she had one drink and blew a .08 while actually fine, but somehow I doubt it. I suspect his problem isn't videoing (seriously, don't throw a raging temper tantrum over something as stupid as going to the lake and then complain when you wind up an internet joke) but I heard him talking about how the "budget is you sitting down and dictating to me", so I would guess she's a brat who screams, he's a brat who doesn't want to follow a budget and they fight about money, too.

    (Note I'm operating on the assumption she's sober in the video, but the existence of a DUI means I suspect drinking's more likely than any sort of "anxiety attack." Not every behavior can be excused away because ZOMG DIAGNOSIS.)
  30. berthesghost

    berthesghost Well-Known Member

    This was such a set up. Is such staged entrapment even admissible in court? I know that we're suppose to be horrified that she acted so crazy, but behind all of the screaming the basis of the staged argument is he wanted to do one thing, she wanted the other. She may have come off as childish and borderline insane, but he came off as manipulative, cruel, dishonest, disloyal, uncaring. If this was to make her seem the villain, it may have backfired.
    uyeahu and (deleted member) like this.