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Strangers who make rude comments...

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Smiley0884, Jun 6, 2013.

  1. Smiley0884

    Smiley0884 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I wonder what the heck is wrong with people...

    I'm 7 months pregnant, and the plethora of comments from complete and total strangers just keep coming. Everything from "You look like you're getting ready to drop a load!!" to "You look HUGE!!!". :blah: I even had one person tell me that I shouldn't be having a baby outside of marriage, and another person tell me that the coffee I was drinking was "bad for the baby", when I was actually drinking tea! :mad: And so what if I was drinking coffee?? Mind your own business people!

    I've had strangers make totally random comments to me about other things before getting pregnant anyway, but I know there are certain things that just make people feel compelled to "comment" on.
    Pregnancy, obesity, homosexuality, or even being "too-thin"...I know a lot of people who have had strangers come up to them and make comments for those reasons, and I just don't get why a stranger feels the need to comment to someone they don't know! :confused:

    *rant over* :p
  2. quartz

    quartz Waiting for my egg to boil. Softly.

  3. KCC

    KCC Well-Known Member

    I took my mother to the mall one time. She is weak and uses a walker, but she wanted to get out. We parked in a handicapped space. When it came time to leave, Mom could not make it back to the car and a stranger yelled at me because I was not handicapped and should not be parked there. I tried to explain that my Mom could not walk back to the car, but the stranger just kept yelling.

    Ya, what a world we live in. Lots of people never developed a filter between their (small) heads and mouth.
  4. Vagabond

    Vagabond Well-Known Member

    It's probably because their parents never taught them proper manners. ;)
  5. Badams

    Badams Well-Known Member

    When I was pregnant for my first, I used to get the head shakes and the "babies having babies" comments all the time. The last straw was when I was in a public bathroom and a mother with her teenage daughter were in there. The mom says "see? Babies having babies...it's just so sad" and they both gave me these pitiful looks of unapproval. So I said "how old does one need to be to be acceptably pregnant? I'm 25 and MARRIED!! Maybe you should not be so judgemental!!!" They just looked shocked and walked away like I was the rude one!
  6. Jayar

    Jayar Well-Known Member

    I think that you're probably just bloated and hopped up on caffeine to think about these people's comments rationally. :lol:
  7. AxelAnnie

    AxelAnnie Well-Known Member

    People are utterly amazing. I have no idea why they feel they have permission to comment about someone else's body, and why pregnancy thinks they are issued a "free pass". It is creepy.

    Although, maybe the media and the free-for all about this "bump" and that "bump" has something to do with it.
  8. Twizzler

    Twizzler Well-Known Member

    I was at the grocery store during Lent a few years ago needing a chocolate fix!! Had some chocolate things in my cart. A woman passed by, shook her head, and made some comment that I should give up my vices during Lent. I wanted to say, "Well, it's a good thing I'm Jewish then" (I'm not) but I was too shocked to speak.

    Wish people would mind their own business. If I'm PMSing and need chocolate, leave me alone, lol!!!!
  9. merrywidow

    merrywidow Well-Known Member

    I imagine the people who make these comments are the same as the ones on these boards who feel the need to argue or criticize other posters opinions or to denegrate skaters. It's a need to boost their egos at the expense of someone else's, be they right or wrong!
  10. AliasJohnDoe

    AliasJohnDoe Headcase Addict

    It depends who the person is.

    I could tell a friend or family member they have a piece of food on their lip, a boogey showing or eye snot....... But I wouldn't tell the same thing to a stranger. I'd mind my own business and let them look gross. :lol:
  11. Smiley0884

    Smiley0884 Well-Known Member

    :eek: wow that is really rude...I don't blame you for speaking up. I was at a restaurant last month and our waiter told me I looked too young to be pregnant, but since I was :drama: about my 28th birthday I let that one go ;) But you're right...I didn't realize there was an age where it's "acceptable" to be pregnant.

    Agree. Of course everyone internally judges others, but I'm not sure why some people feel compelled to just approach a complete stranger about their choices. The media is getting way too "baby bump" happy and I'm sure that doesn't help. With a lot of the pregnancy blogs I belong to all they ever seem to talk about is Kim K's bloated face and feet. :yikes:
  12. Tesla

    Tesla Whippet Good

    You're pregnant. You have the perfect excuse to blast the snot-nosed jerks. "It's the hormones talking. What's your excuse?"
  13. Rob

    Rob Beach Bum

    Many of my pregnant friends have said that it is really amazing that people think it is appropriate to put their hand on your stomach without being invited. They would never do that if you weren't pregnant, why do they get a pass when you are pregnant?
  14. IceAlisa

    IceAlisa discriminating and persnickety ballet aficionado

    I am sorry you had to hear this. Not sure why pregnancy brings out the nosy Yenta in people. When I was pregnant, I had guys (GUYS!) lecturing me about the dangers of epidural and how it's a neurotoxin and how if I want the best for my baby, I would have him "naturally."

    I learned to say that the lidocaine your dentist uses to drill your teeth is also a neurotoxin. Why doesn't the guy in question have his teeth done "naturally?"
  15. dbell1

    dbell1 Well-Known Member

    I was 7 months pregnant and interviewing people for a position at my company. One woman put her hand on my stomach and said "will the baby kick for me?" I moved away and said "no, but I will if you touch me again". She didn't get the job.
    Lilia A, meggonzo, smurfy and 13 others like this.
  16. snoopy

    snoopy Team St. Petersburg

    My bff got the constant headshakes and your too young to be pregnant remarks – and she was 28. All of these comments floor me because I am Queen of Oblivion, and would likely not even notice if someone is pregnant, much less guess someone’s age.
  17. genevieve

    genevieve drinky typo pbp, closet hugger Staff Member

    Several years ago, a board member at a previous job kept alluding to my due date. I tried to steer her off the topic and she wouldn't budge, so I finally said "do you think I'm pregnant? I'm just FAT." which flustered her to the point that she insisted on standing in my office and making me talk about some other trivial thing for 10 more minutes before she would finally leave and I could crawl under my desk and die (and call my friend to co-die of awfulness).

    At least she didn't try putting a hand on me. I would probably still be incarcerated if she had (this was at least 8 years ago).
    milanessa and (deleted member) like this.
  18. PRlady

    PRlady flipflack

    Try being a smoker. (Or don't, it's bad for you.) You are standing ten yards away from everyone in an outside space and a child walks up to you and says, "You're gonna die from that." Do you know how hard it is not to say, not as fast as you will if you don't get out of here?

    I have explained to children that it is not polite to tell strangers what to do, and that I promised that when they misbehaved in public I would not tell them to stop and embarrass them. The older ones got the message.

    We won't even get into the adults shouting things. Literally.
    Moto Guzzi and (deleted member) like this.
  19. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

    I was chewed out by a total stranger in a public park once for being a teen mother. I was 25 and the child was my nephew.

    My eyes are extremely sensitive to light so I wear sunglasses year round in all weather. Strangers often tell me I shouldn't be wearing sunglasses because it is winter, or cloudy, or dusky, or whatever.
  20. snoopy

    snoopy Team St. Petersburg

    Just tell them that the sun always shines on you. :)
  21. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

    Yes, because why have a real conversation involving dissent.
    Kasey and (deleted member) like this.
  22. my little pony

    my little pony war crawling into canada

    i have very small eyes. or i did before osteopenia started to eat away at my cheekbones. if i had a dime for every time a stranger asked me if i'm crying. what if the answer is yes? what will they do about it?
  23. modern_muslimah

    modern_muslimah Thinking of witty user title and coming up blank

    I always figure that people who make these comments are either people who need to constantly feed their egos or people who are normally ok but are having a very bad day. Either way, I try not to let it bother me but some days it can be hard. The thing I get comments on the most is my hijab, especially in the summer. I can't count how many times people say things like "Girl, you must be HOT in that!" It's always good to know that strangers somehow became my thermometer and can warn me of my impending heat stroke. The people who say this say with such certainty too. :rolleyes:
  24. Rob

    Rob Beach Bum

    The minute I got married people started asking me when I was going to start having kids. How about never? We always just said "a couple of years" just to be polite. So there is no reason to get married unless you want kids?

    My friend's mother in law hounded her about getting pregnant the minute she got married (at age 23 or 24). They were trying and trying, and she kept miscarrying, but she didn't want to alert the media. So finally she said "you know sometimes it isn't easy to get pregnant; it isn't for lack of trying." And that shut her up.
  25. Jayar

    Jayar Well-Known Member

    My best friend actually looked very pregnant for a whole year several years back. She even had to take to wearing maternity tops. Her work thought she was perpetually pregnant, and MANY people touched her belly at random times. When she came to visit she confessed to me that it hurt her feelings very much, and I asked her point blank what was wrong physically to cause this. (She was not having sex with anyone for a very long time at that point, and her 'pregnant' abdomen was hard as a rock.) After pushing her to go to the doctor, she learned that she had lesions and tabs of some sort that were getting larger and larger. She had a surgery and dropped like 20 inches on her waist within weeks. She still looks fantastic. I learned from her then never to assume that someone is pregnant. I wait for them to tell me-- or not.
  26. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    I wish I knew too! My friend was having twins and people kept touching her stomach and she was like, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" It's really unfortunate. I wouldn't touch anyone without permission, let alone a stranger! (Well, aside from my husband and my cat...) No idea why people think it's suddenly okay when a woman is pregnant.

    Wow, that is probably the stupidest person I have heard about all week. :rofl:
  27. maatTheViking

    maatTheViking Danish Ice Dance! Go Laurence & Nikolaj!

    Wow, never had anyone touch my stomach while pregnant without asking. And only friends have asked.

    I'm sorry someone had said those things to you!

    I never had anyone be rude in other ways either, people must have good manners here? In fact, I was surprised he last time we were out with friends, someone ordered a bottle if wine, and the waiter still asks me, obviously pregnant women, if I want a glass. Well, nice of him not to assume, it isn't his business.

    I am not surprised people are judgmental (we all do that), but the polite thing is to keep it to yourself.
    One exception only, drunk drivers.
  28. screech

    screech Well-Known Member

    I'm a very thin person, though not as much now as when I was in high school (I'm still slightly underweight though). When I was 18, no matter what I did, I was never over 95 lbs (probably due to my figure skating.) I'm a big eater, but I also have the habit of washing my hands both before and after eating. Well, all people at school saw was the super thin girl eating a lot of food then going heading off to the washroom. My guidance counselor went around asking my friends if I was bulimic, which then led to other people rudely commenting to me about my 'eating disorder'.

    Just as some people happen to be overweight, there are people who are underweight. Skinny people have a hell of a lot of problems (and stigmas) attached to them too.
  29. Whitneyskates

    Whitneyskates Well-Known Member

    I saw someone over the weekend who I hadn't seen in a long time, I told her I got married in 2011, she asked if we had kids yet and when I told her no, she asked, in a very serious tone, if everything was ok.

    Then a couple months ago, I was in the grocery store with my 7 year old nephew, I bought him a small individual pack of cookies and the woman in line behind me took it upon herself to inform me that she would never give her child a pack of cookies like that, and that I would learn about such things "as I got older".
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2013
  30. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    Alf and I are skinny, underweight people too, but I'll admit I was a bit suspicious when I first dated Alf, because when we went out to eat, he'd always go off to the bathroom for a while during dinner. :shuffle: Now that we live together in a tiny studio, I know he doesn't have an eating disorder, but I still have no idea what he was doing on those early dates! :lol: (Not sure if I want to know, actually...) I understand being naturally thin, because I am that way too. I don't know a whole lot of people who always go the bathroom right after eating, though. :eek:

    It's understandable that people might have been privately concerned because of those observations, but the guidance counselor going around to your friends was definitely the wrong way to go about it! And of course people can keep their own rude comments to themselves!