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Some Quitting Facebook as Privacy Concerns Escalate

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by missflick, May 14, 2010.

  1. Carolla5501

    Carolla5501 Well-Known Member

    I am amazed at what folks post on Facebook and then they act upset that it gets out.

    My "profile" and postings contain NOTHING that I would be the least bit concerned about if it the whole world saw them...

    My name is the only "personal" thing on there :)
  2. Prancer

    Prancer Strong and stable Staff Member

    My husband doesn't have a Facebook page, so we don't do that, but we have been known to email each other while we're both in the house, and sometimes I post things on my kids' Facebook pages while they are in the house, too.

    With my husband, it happens when we are both working on stuff--I will grading papers on one of the upstairs computer and he will be working on homework on one of the computers downstairs. Sure, we could get up and have a face-to-face conversation, but it's faster and less disruptive to email. Sometimes we are talking about things regarding the children we don't want them to overhear--and it's hard to do that in our particular house.

    With the kids, I post in response to something they say on Facebook, so it seems like Facebook is the best place to put it. I will say that we don't have entire conversations that way, but occasional comments back and forth, sure. And I would probably do the same with my husband if he had a Facebook page (not likely) and if he ever posted on it (even less likely).

    Why? Sincere question; if I'm doing something unhealthy, I'd like to know what it is.
  3. Teresa Dawn

    Teresa Dawn New Member

    I just change my settings to what I want for each thing. I have quite a few friends I've met over forums and I let them see certain photos, but some photos I only allow family to see for example. Some I even allow friends of friends or everybody depending on what it is, but I definately change each and everything according to what it is... every single status and note I take the time to set the appropriate privacy level for. It works for me.

    I make half my living designing games for facebook so I can't quit it haha!
  4. Norlite

    Norlite Well-Known Member

    I've always instant messaged everyone and anyone, (husband, kids grandkids) in the same house.

    I'll be upstairs, they'll be downstairs, working or whatever and just need to say a word or two, why get up? Or yell through the house?

    And as far as facebook, my husband never had one, but I comment on the kid's stuff all the time. Even if they're right beside me.

    It just occurred to me all I had to post was :


    to Prancer's post.

    I think it's quite common in most households.
  5. numbers123

    numbers123 Well-Known Member

    we frequently text or email when we are in the same house. His office is in another part of the house and generally he has his music up loud. He keeps the door to the office closed as a way to regulate the temperature and often does not hear the doorbell. Yelling or intercoming isn't nearly as effective. husband does not have a facebook page.

    I do communicate to our kids via status updates on facebook, but then they are all out of our house and in their own homes.

    The older kids adhere to the grandpa rule. Would they want grandpa to read it - yes, then it goes on - no, then they don't post. The youngest and his wife have not learned the grandpa/grandma rule. And what they post is :eek:. I have had to recommend that they remove something or consider consequences of posting that.

    By the way - This morning I found a setting that I think will be most useful, if I ever think my account has been compromised. Under account settings, account security, click change, selected the "would I like to receive notifications for login's from new devices?" Now I will get notifications of whenever I logon to facebook from a workstation other than my primary one. And if someone has been logging on to my facebook account with my previous password, it has been changed to something that someone would need to know about a specific childhood experience of mine plus some numbers.
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  6. Indra486

    Indra486 Well-Known Member

    From FB's terms:

    I absolutely hate this phrase and the only pictures I upload are the ones in which I paste smiley face on top of mine. Now, the problem is when I'm tagged by friends in their pictures.

    I'm inclined to believe that while the material is deleted, I doubt that those photos are permanently deleted like they suggest in term number 2. I'm inclined to believe that it's still stored in their database. Why? When you terminate your account, your info is still there for 14 days in the event that you change your mind. Even then, if the 14 days pass, I still think it's there. Call me crazy. :shuffle:
  7. michiruwater

    michiruwater Well-Known Member

    I've had friends delete and reactivate their accounts with months in between and all their old tags automatically show up again in my pictures of them and whatnot. So I would agree with you that it's still there.
  8. algonquin

    algonquin Well-Known Member

    I just find it odd that people put the these types of posts on their walls instead of sending a private message.
  9. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

    Email is private. As is IMing. We're talking about the people having a conversation on a FB wall for everyone to see. And not wife posted a link and husband comments. I have seen, literally, conversations about what's for dinner or who's picking up the kids and such things. On a FB wall. One posting from the kitchen and the other from the living room. Conversations that go on for ten or twelve comments. Someone get up and go in the other room because your friends do not care about it. Or at least use the IM. Also, the mushy crap. "Happy anniversary to the best husband/wife ever" and that sort of thing. Just like the posts to babies, they are just trying to tell us all it is their anniversary. So why don't they just post that.
  10. Prancer

    Prancer Strong and stable Staff Member

    I don't know about anyone else, but I don't care about most of what people post on their Facebook pages and I always assume no one cares about most of mine, either. If I am not interested in what someone is posting, I scroll on by, just like I do here. For one thing, I don't see much point in reading 10-12 posts that don't concern me--which applies equally well to any FB conversation on someone else's wall that doesn't concern me, whatever it may be about.

    It seems to me that a Facebook page is there for the convenience of the person who owns the page, not for entertainment of the "Friends." A lot of my "Friends" use Facebook to make arrangements for things like meeting for dinner or to talk about softball games I don't attend or to post comments meant for a subset of their Friends' list that I'm not part of; I don't see much difference between that and posting about what's for dinner. It's a discussion between the people involved; does it really matter if they are sitting right beside each other or three states apart?
    cholla and (deleted member) like this.
  11. tarotx

    tarotx Well-Known Member

    I can understand Facebook issues concerning privacy as it relates to oneself and actual or potential ramifications of the sites privacy on a whole but why care what others post? Don't have them in your feed or defriend them. I know a few people who talk on Facebook and other message boards as if it's a private conversation. It's easier for them somehow. If they post something they regret later that is their problem.
  12. vesperholly

    vesperholly Well-Known Member

    That is SKETCH CITY as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few years, it will be illegal for companies to assume copyright was relinquished when a user uploads a photo or video. Not that I'm any kind of bigshot, but I took down all my professional photos because of this rule. Yikes.
  13. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

    Yep. Like I said in a post before, if you don't delete everything from your account before you close it, then it is still there. I deleted my account for a few days (long story) and all I had to do was click on reactivate for it to come back. A friend of mine deletes hers during semester all time time, but the content comes back the moment she does.

    You can't just close your account - what you do is deactivate it. If you want to delete it, then you need to delete every friend, every photo, application, wall post etc.

    Unless it's someone you're close to who is posting things they might regret, I agree. I've blocked a few people from my newsfeed and put a few on limited profile, and they've stopped annoying me :)
  14. Reuven

    Reuven Official FSU Alte Kacher

    I think that ANYTHING out on the "internets" is there forever.

    I'm inclined to think companies such as FB will push to retain copyright, and probably get it.
  15. PDilemma

    PDilemma Well-Known Member

    My SiL posts very personal things on her FB wall. Then they appear in the news feeds of about 400 people in town. Then she gets dreadfully upset that "everyone always knows (her) business".

    I think some people just don't entirely comprehend that posting something on a Facebook wall means people can read it.
  16. walei

    walei Well-Known Member

    I like Facebook but the 'phoniness' of people commenting and posting are starting to grate me a little...

    For privacy concerns though, I agree that it's up to the user to be knowledgeable of what they are getting into in the first place.
  17. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

    I agree, but want to reiterate that some people have been on facebook since it started. I've been on it since it went international, way back in 2006. The privacy policy and issues surrounding privacy have changed DRASTICALLY since then.

    It's all well and good to know what you're getting into, but you also have to keep up to date and know what you're staying in, because the FB privacy policy changes regularly and gives us less and less privacy each time, without notification (except for that one change a few months ago).
  18. Choupette

    Choupette Well-Known Member

    I've never had a Facebook account, I don't plan to get one and I feel concerned by this issue anyway... even more after reading this thread and how it can even search through e-mail addresses in Outlook! :wideeyes: I've had a picture of me posted on Facebook by somebody else, even if I had said when the picture was taken that I didn't want it on the Internet. The picture in itself wasn't a problem, it went up there as the result of some weird circumstances and misunderstanding, it was quickly taken away after I asked, but it's scary to think that there can be pictures of me out there, and the chances of me being aware of it are slim especially since I do not have a Facebook account in the first place. :duh:

    Facebook or not, anybody could do it on a personal page, but 99.9999% of people's personal pages would never get as much views as a Facebook account so the problem is amplified. I'm doing everything I can to keep my private life private, and yet it's somewhat out of my hands.
  19. Carolla5501

    Carolla5501 Well-Known Member

    Umm.. Facebook can't search what it doesn't have access to.

    I set mine up using an email address that's really only SPAM, I never 'email' my friends etc from that account (I use it to sign up to read online newspapers and junke like that. and for PayPal... another company I won't let NEAR my real info. They get ONE credit card number which they have attempted to screw up several times!) So if Facebook wants to spam paypal from my account.. more power to them :)

    I have had one photo posted, but knew it was going to be posted. None of my friends are into "posting" Generally we just email each other. We use it more to mointor the activities of their kids :)
  20. *Jen*

    *Jen* Well-Known Member

    Eys, but what it has access to is :eek: Some of the friends suggestions it has given me are alarming. No friends in common, no networks or links in common, yet up pops a random person I should know. And sometimes do know. But facebook shouldn't know that, not unless they have access to a lot more than they're letting on...
  21. skatemommy

    skatemommy Well-Known Member

    Even more annoying than the baby posts are the invitations to the games. I honestly don't care about your farm, mafia, etc. Please get a life!
  22. Karina1974

    Karina1974 Well-Known Member

    Really... I never heard of that. Well... they'd have a very hard time arguing that point with me seeing as how I have shots on my profile that my parents took 20-30 years ago, and they still own the negatives.
  23. Karina1974

    Karina1974 Well-Known Member

    I think I'm going to post this as a Question of the Day on my profile, because I have one friend who does it, and it really makes me gag to read it. Especially since his gf is 47 and writes like she's a teenager.
  24. Auntie

    Auntie Well-Known Member

    I frequent a website where people ask questions about kitchen remodeling, decorating, home building, etc. People often post pictures with their requests for advice. Like Facebook, the website assumes use of pictures that are posted on the site. So, it's not unusual for someone to find a picture of their kitchen on a part of the site that they never frequent. For instance, their kitchen (and others) could be used in a blog post of "Favorite kitchen makeovers". Facebook could easily do the same. If you check the box that says you understand terms and conditions, I don't see how you could complain if they use your pictures.
  25. Yehudi

    Yehudi Snarks about Volchkova with love

    I think you also have to watch just who you "friend" on facebook. I don't have a very high "friend" count because I limit it to people I actually want to keep in touch with, rather than accepting friend requests from random people I may or may not know. I'm a little less discriminatory on linkedin because for work purposes, I want to be connected to as many people as possible and I'm not posting anything on linkedin other than stuff related to work.
  26. rjblue

    rjblue Having a great day!

    I find the worry about Facebook a bit silly.

    When I was a child, you could phone any telephone operator and get them to look up Sam Anyman and they would tell you his phone number and where he lived (and probably give you some gossip about him). Directory assistance is almost useless now, and it is hard to get someone's address unless you pay for a service.

    When I was a child many people's telephones were Party lines, with up to 6 (12?) households having the phone ring and you had to know the pattern of your ring. If you were talking on the phone then several other people were almost certainly listening.

    Local newspapers had extensive coverage on whose sister was in town for a visit, who had a dinner party, who had an anniversary party, what people wore, etc.

    What you do in the privacy of your own home, behind closed doors, is no one else's business. But it is, and always has been, that anything you do or say outside of your home can be other people's business. The internet is just an electronic outdoors.

    I have the "Grammie Rule" for my kid's Facebook and other internet usage, too. They don't have any control over pictures other kids post of them, but they aren't supposed to be doing anything illegal or inappropriate anyway.
  27. Prancer

    Prancer Strong and stable Staff Member

    Um, block the apps. You'll still get invites, but nothing will show up in your feed.

    I wouldn't say silly, but I do think that people overestimate just how much privacy they have without Facebook. It's not that hard to track anyone down if you have just a little bit of information.

    The thing is, most of us don't have anyone particularly trying to track us down, and if there is someone looking, it's usually not for some nefarious purpose. I do think people should be careful about identity theft, but you are more at risk for that when you pay for something with a credit card in person than when you post on the internet. I also think people should be discreet if they don't want everyone in their business. But most of us, quite frankly, aren't interesting enough to have to worry about whether someone sees our photo on the internet or not or finds our Facebook pages.

    Unless you are in some way strikingly unusual, most people don't care who you are or what you are doing.
  28. Desperado

    Desperado Well-Known Member

    Yes, I did delete all my stuff before requesting the "in 14 days" official delete. The only reason I knew about this however was from a newspaper article, Facebook never tells you this when you ask them to delete.

    The article above is interesting but it begs the question why just deactivate an account, leaving all your information in the hands of FB, if you don't trust the way they deal with privacy.
  29. Simone411

    Simone411 Covfefe! FSU Uber fan!

    I don't have a Facebook acct. for my own personal reasons and part of it has to do with safety since there are psychos that like to include hacking and stalking as part of their favorite "thing" to do.

    Anyway, I receive a newsletter from a site called technix update. This newsletter included an article with a lot of safety tips for privacy for those that use Facebook. I thought I'd share it since there are so many that do use it here.