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  1. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

    Burns wrote and collected some very rude poems. Here's one of my favourites:

    "Nine Inch Will Please A Lady" by Robert Burns

    Come rede me dame, come tell me, dame,
    My dame come tell me truly,
    What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame,
    Will sair a woman duly?
    The carlin clew her wanton tail,
    Her wanton tail sae ready -
    I learn'd a sang in Annandale,
    Nine inch will please a lady.

    But for a koontrie **** like mine,
    In sooth, we're nae sae gentle;
    We'll take tway thumb-bread to the nine,
    And tha's a sonsy pintle;
    O leeze me on my Charlie lad,
    I'll ne'er forget my Charlie!
    Tway roarin handfu's and a daud,
    He nidge't it in fu' rarely.

    But weary fa' the laithron doup
    And may it ne'er ken thrivin!
    It's no the length that maks me loup,
    But it's the double drivin.-
    Come nidge me, Tam, come nidge me Tam,
    Come nidge me o'er the nyvel!
    Come lowse and lug your battering ram,
    And thrash him at my gyvel!

    :grope: :biggrinbo
    LynnW and (deleted member) like this.
  2. milanessa

    milanessa engaged to dupa

    Éirinn go Brách! - Oh, wait. ;)
  3. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,

    That's newly sprung in June:

    Oh my luve is like the melodie,

    That's sweetly play'd in tune.

    As fair art thou, my bonie lass,

    So deep in luve am I;

    And I will luve thee still, my dear,

    Till a' the seas gang dry.

    Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,

    And the rocks melt wi' the sun;

    And I will luve thee still, my dear,

    While the sands o' life shall run.

    And fare thee weel, my only luve!

    And fare thee weel a while!

    And I will come again, my luve,

    Tho' it were ten thousand mile!
  4. Squibble

    Squibble New Member

    Some hae meat and canna eat,
    And some wad eat that want it;
    But we hae meat, and we can eat,
    And sae the Lord be thankit.
  5. Squibble

    Squibble New Member

    I've been told it's sacrilege (not to mention ironic) to serve vegetarian haggis when you're saying the Selkirk Grace. :p
  6. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

    I was going to go to a Burns Night at a pub in LA but they're not doing much of anything. No pipes, no readings, just samples of food for too much money. :mad:
  7. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

    Let's see, it would take me a good 21 hours to get there. :rofl:
  8. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

    Maybe I could make it if I had a passport! ;) That would be sooo much fun.
  9. JasperBoy

    JasperBoy Aging in a great place

    Oh, that Gung Haggis Fat Choy dinner is amazing. I have never attended, but watch the website a lot.


    Didn't Todd Wong win an award for multicultural services last year? He's quite a guy.
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2011
  10. kimkom

    kimkom Two Pot Screamer

    I have this in a beautiful frame in my dining room. My grandfather left it to me when he died, and it means everything to me. :)

    My mom's was due to give birth to me today, and my name was going to be Robin, after Robbie Burns. Unfortunately, I decided to laze around for a few more days. :lol: