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Sandra Lee has written a novel.

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Whitneyskates, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

    And yet, she has CHEF friends and can't cook... :confused:
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Celebrity cheese-monger

    Maybe because she gets them joosed up on cocktails like this?
  3. overedge

    overedge Janny uber

    Her autobiography is "bargain priced" at Amazon. Someone is selling a used copy for 84 cents :rofl:

    Also, according to this story, the first fiction book (with another to come) was supposed to be released this past summer. What happened? Was Nasty Sandy too joosed to dictate her vague ideas to the ghostwriter too busy with all her other wonderful projects to finish her manuscript
  4. Dr.Siouxs

    Dr.Siouxs Well-Known Member

  5. escaflowne9282

    escaflowne9282 Reformed Manspreader

    I will never forget the the most infamous comment by a reviewer made on the FoodNetwork site concerning her recipe

    Ole Puddin'Cups is now an author. I cannot wait to read the part where the male love interest pops balloons filled with perfume and gets a rash from the pixie stix that have been spread on his sheets.
    I'll read it while devouring a bowl of vanilla ice-cream shaped like a baked potato and covered in soggy discarded pie crusts.
    skateboy and (deleted member) like this.
  6. Scintillation

    Scintillation New Member

    At school we've decided we're going to get drunk and write a shitty romance/cooking novel to compete with Sandy's masterwork. And since we've decided that she's essentially fallen for the Brawny paper towel man in her book, we're going to include a lot of tangents about how incredibly absorbent Brawny paper towels are. The cover will probably be a smashed vodka bottle with a destroyed angel food cake in the background. There will be romance, intrigue, and plenty of easy DIY recipes that will include either Lipton's onion soup mix, Betty Crocker confetti cake mix, or both. And talk of paper towels.
  7. overedge

    overedge Janny uber

    Scintillation, please post it!!

    Actually I had forgotten about russipees for Nasty Sandy's "fiction" book. I wonder if it will be like one of these horrible books:


    [and yeah, I know they're horrible because I've read them :shuffle:}
  8. Scintillation

    Scintillation New Member

    A titillating excerpt:

    "It seemed ages that they stared deeply in to each others eyes, before Sandra remembered what she needed to do. 'Gary, hand me a bowl," she whispered. 'I need to bake this cake.' 'Oh yes,' he purred, 'yes you do.' Gary handed her a bowl and the Betty Crocker funfetti delight box of cake mix. Without looking away, he handed her the necessary spatula and whisk. She couldn't help but think how amazingly erotic this simple act had become. Would he count how many times she whisked the cake before she poured in to the 8" cake pan? Her mind in a haze, she grabbed 2 eggs and some water. Suddenly her mind went blank. 'Oh,' she murmured, 'oh-'
    'Oh don't worry,' Gary said. 'I didn't forget the oil.'
    'Oh thank you,' Sandra sighed. 'But we're also going to need some paper towels. You have no idea where that frosting could end up.'"

    We're gonna need a lot of whiskey for this.
  9. overedge

    overedge Janny uber

    :rofl: This is awesome!!!
  10. Simone411

    Simone411 Covfefe! FSU Uber fan!

    That book is about as exciting as a song I remember from the B52's.

    "ummm! How about a Devil's Food cake!"

    "How about a Pineapple Upside Down Cake!"

    "You know, I read where it takes a long time to RISE!"

    "oooh, yeah! Let's get this thing in the oven!" :cool:
  11. Rex

    Rex Well-Known Member

    :rofl: I love you guys SO MUCH!!!