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My cancer situation

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by Spazactaz, Aug 15, 2013.

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  1. Spazactaz

    Spazactaz New Member

    So I know I've mentioned this in another thread before but never really in its own.
    About 1.5 years ago I was diagnosed with adenoid cystic carcinoma.. a tumor in my sinus cavity/brain.. which then spread into my back/spine.
    Up until the past month I was dealing with it all very well... I am only 25 years old.. as of December I was still skating doing double axels and everything.
    As of the past month it seems to have spread like crazy.. I started to be unable to walk as well... but even last week I could still stand and take steps with a walker. Then each day after that I got significantly more paralyzed... and now basically up to my chest is paralyzed. I can't walk, can't function at all for myself really. I'm now admitted back into the hospital while I do some more radiation treatments. The doctor says I have "months" to live. I have no idea how to handle any of this anymore... I am just breaking down constantly, I hate not being self-sufficient at all... everything just happened so drastically and suddenly I don't know what to do at the moment! :(
  2. purple skates

    purple skates Shadow Dancing

    OMG, Spazactaz. All I can offer are hugs. :(
  3. Vash01

    Vash01 Fan of Yuzuru, Medvedeva, T&M, Shibs, P&C


    I am so sorry to hear this! Regardless of what the doctors say, I have heard of miraculous recoveries. Don't lose hope. Prayers coming your way.
  4. orientalplane

    orientalplane Mad for mangelwurzels

    I'm so very sorry; you must be in terrible shock as it's all become much worse so quickly. :(

    I don't know how to help except to say that you will always find friends here who will support you.
    Vash01 and (deleted member) like this.
  5. millyskate

    millyskate Well-Known Member

    Praying for you.
  6. sk8pics

    sk8pics Well-Known Member

    {{{Spazactaz}}} I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say either. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. Does the hospital have any counselors or ministers or others who can talk to you? Maybe the radiation treatment will help.

    If you are willing, if you post or PM your name and address, I know some of us would send you cards. It's not much, I know...
  7. Really

    Really I need a new title

    {{{{{{Spazactaz}}}}}} I'm so sorry. If care and good thoughts and prayers have any healing power, the folks here at FSU would have you on the mend in no time!
  8. Dr.Siouxs

    Dr.Siouxs Well-Known Member

    Everyone faces this eventually, be present in every moment and know that you're dearly loved no matter what! Keep posting if you find it therapeutic. :)

  9. BigB08822

    BigB08822 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. That is just awful. Maybe the radiation will work miracles but we are all here for you if you need to vent or cry!
  10. Skittl1321

    Skittl1321 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts/prayers.
  11. skatesindreams

    skatesindreams Well-Known Member

    Adding my support and prayers.

    Do you have access to counselling to help you cope with the many aspects of a very complex situation?
    You need someone you trust for immediate support
  12. Rob

    Rob Beach Bum

    I am so sorry to hear about this. We are here for you if you need us.
  13. ioana

    ioana Well-Known Member

    Don't know what to say besides offering my own {{}} & offering to read in case posting ever makes you feel better. Cannot even imagine how hard it must be to be unable to walk at all, especially since you were so active to begin with. Hang in there and don't give up hope -I know, a lot easier said than done.
  14. Ice Queen

    Ice Queen Member

    ((((((Spazactaz)))))) I am so very sorry to hear of your illness. Please find comfort knowing, your FSU friends are always here when you need us.
  15. iloveemoticons

    iloveemoticons Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. Adding my prayers for you also. Maybe there are some experimental treatments or clinical trials out there as well? ***Hug***
  16. Catherine M

    Catherine M Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear this Spazactaz. Will be praying for you. Does the hospital have a cancer support group you can reach out to? There are so many resources available to patients that sometimes get over looked.
  17. rfisher

    rfisher Will you rise like a phoenix or be a burnt chicken

    Ask about support groups during your next radiation treatment. Many departments have them or will put you in contact with one. It helps to be able to talk with people undergoing the same things. I'm very sorry.
  18. ChelleC

    ChelleC Well-Known Member


    Thoughts and prayers for you.
  19. Alixana

    Alixana Definitely NOT a sonogram

    (((Spazactaz))) I'm so very sorry. I don't think any of us would know how to handle your situation, no matter how old we are, but such good advice from other posters. Please know my family and I are thinking of you even though we've never met you, and hoping for the very best for you. As someone said above, if posting and venting here helps you, we promise to look for all your posts.
  20. tarotx

    tarotx Well-Known Member

    Prayers :( Sorry I don't know what to say. I wish I could find some advice for you. I wish I could make this scary painful time and the future unknown less scary with some amazing insight. You deserve better. You deserve to grow old and live at least until your 80's. Plus I don't know why life has got to make matters worse by having hell make us lose control over our physical selves. It's crazy. It's sad. It's totally F-ed up.

    I pray you have loved ones who know how to honor your life so that you can understand what a special person you have been. I mean you have made this forum interesting and you have affected us so I can imagine what you did for people in your real life. And I pray that they know how to handle your fear, frustration and what ifs with a mighty strength so that you have some one to lean upon right now.

    Sending as much positive energy as I can your way. Praying that you find a way into best case scenario. Praying that You find a good peace. It's the hardest thing in life but I hope and send prayers.

    And remember you have strangers who care about you.
    BittyBug and (deleted member) like this.
  21. victoriajh

    victoriajh trying to ignore rod and find the eurosport feed

    God needs to leave everyone with a double axel ....there just aren't enough of them ;)
    Kidding aside....I don't know what to say but that you have my thoughts and prayers and make each day count....keep us posted on how you are doing
  22. Moto Guzzi

    Moto Guzzi Well-Known Member

    (((Spazactaz))) I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers that a treatment will be found that can help you. Are there any experimental protocals available? You have a number of friends on FSU who are here to support you.
  23. halffull

    halffull Life is a beautiful thing

    So sorry to read this. I'm hoping the hospital staff can make you more comfortable and provide you with everything you need. As people have already stated, we are here to support you. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way!!
  24. shan

    shan Well-Known Member

    ((((((Spazactaz)))))) I'm so sorry. Please know that I'm praying for you.
  25. Holley Calmes

    Holley Calmes Well-Known Member

    Prayers for you my dear Spazactaz! Miracles DO happen! I pray a great, big, fat miracle will happen for you. I will pray for you every day and ask my friends to pray for you as well.
  26. skipaway

    skipaway Well-Known Member

    (((Spazactaz))) adding my prayers and wishing you peace.
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2013
  27. jlai

    jlai Title-less

    (((Spazactas))) I have no words. :(
    Stay strong!
  28. kimkom

    kimkom Two Pot Screamer

    I'm so glad you decided to tell your story here at FSU, Spazactaz, I wanted to suggest it might be a great source of support and comfort. Sometimes speaking to people you only know online is easier because you can say what you want without upsetting and worrying real life family and friends.

    It might be a great outlet to bitch and yell here. Everyone will listen and we all care.

    Even though we only met a couple of times in London, and I'm just an old broad, I've been thinking about you and cheering you on.

    Please keep us updated if and when you can. xo
    Really and (deleted member) like this.
  29. Matryeshka

    Matryeshka Well-Known Member

    Stay strong. I hope all your favorite skaters win this season. Every time I see a double axel, I'll think of you and your rapid, miraculous recovery.
  30. Lanie

    Lanie Well-Known Member

    I hope you don't mind that I pray for you, Spazcataz. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
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