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I got engaged! Unfortunately....

Discussion in 'Off The Beaten Track' started by woodstock, Dec 26, 2011.

  1. taf2002

    taf2002 zexy demon

    I really like the ring you linked. It's very pretty. And :cheer2: for him getting his money back.
  2. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a plan woodstock! :cheer:
  3. Kruss

    Kruss Not Auto-Tuned

    I love the ring you linked. I have something similar (although in sterling silver and cubic), but I always thought something like that would be a lovely wedding ring. Very easy to wear as the stones are flush, it's very smooth, yet very sparkling. It's a gorgeous design.
  4. KCC

    KCC Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear that you were successful in returning the ring. Hopefully the store did not give you too hard of a time in negotiating the return. And I kind of agree with you on your leaning toward not getting an engagement ring -- if I had to do it again, I would not have gotten one. Certainly it makes sense to think about how the engagement ring and wedding band would fit together. Our wedding bands match, which was really important to me, but it is awkward for me to wear my wedding band with the engagement ring because of the thickness of the wedding band vs. my finger joint. You may have the same issue if you get the thicker "wave" band design that you linked.

    I wish you and your fiance the happiest life together!
  5. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger Well-Known Member

    Yeah..... They aren't going to do that. Reading selectively, and making judgements about your character, just feels so good.
  6. GarrAarghHrumph

    GarrAarghHrumph I can kill you with my brain

    Ooooh, I do like that.
  7. WindSpirit

    WindSpirit OmnipresentAdmeanistrator

    The linked ring is very pretty, but there's so much that can go wrong with it, so make it's exactly what you want and that you can wear it to work without worry. It also can't be re-sized, which is kind of bummer, as finger sizes often change during lifetime.

    Personally I would probably worry too much about it, so the pleasure of having/wearing it would be quite diminished.
  8. Angelskates

    Angelskates Well-Known Member

    :rolleyes: woodstock changed the paragraph she suggested by reread several times after reading posts below it, does she expect people to keep checking for her edits?

    Seriously, the situation is resolved, why the continued animosity when the poster woodstock was referring to wasn't even you?

    Woodstock, I'm glad you found a solution. I agree with Windspirit about the ring you linked, and would worry about it needing resizing in the future and not being able to resize it.
  9. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    I am not sure why the jeweler is saying the ring cannot be resized. Possibly, they are just saying, they won't resize. That you would have to take it somewhere else. There is a solid block of gold, in the back, that is usually done for the purpose of resizing. The only thing that could be an issue, would be that there are so many small stones. But, a good jeweler could resize that ring and check that the settings are secure.

    I think the ring is very pretty and would be fine. As woodstock said, it has a very low profile and should not get in her way when she is working. I would be concerned if the stones went completely around the ring (like an eternity band). But, the back seems to be stoneless. She will have to get it checked periodically. It is pretty easy to tell if a large stone's setting has loosened. But with pave' small stones, it's very hard to tell with the naked eye. Of course, it's much less expensive to replace a 2-3 point stone than a larger one.

    As to ring sizes changing one time. My ring size changed when I was pregnant, due to some fluid retention. But, I wear the same size now that I wore when I got married.
  10. succubus

    succubus Well-Known Member

    Woodstock - I love the ring you just linked, but please take the warnings about resizing seriously. I have a very similar ring (anniv gift from hubby) and didn't get the same warning. My ring finger is only a 3.5 - they only had a 4.5 in stock, told me they could resize it, and 3 or 4 of the diamonds fell out within weeks of resizing. It wasn't my wedding band, so I wasn't even wearing it every day.
  11. succubus

    succubus Well-Known Member

    Hi Cruisin - I see your point, but keep in mind that when the arc of a ring changes, the setting holding the diamonds changes shape as well. Even if the solid part is the only part getting cut/soldered, the remainder of the ring necessarily has to change its arc to accommodate larger/smaller size. That's why the diamonds fall out.
  12. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    Yes, I understand that (I actually pointed that out back thread :)). I think, though, that it depends on how much the ring needs to be resized and if it needs to be made smaller or larger. Since the stones are pave' they share prongs. Making it much smaller, would spread the settings. The only way the stones could be secured would be to flatten out the prong, to widen it - that probably would not look very good (especially with the milgrain work). I would say 1/2 size smaller would be it. Making it larger, would not be as much of an issue, as it would not spread the prongs. Ideally, that ring should be purchased the right size. A good jeweler can order your size for you, it just might take a few weeks/months. Or a good jeweler can make it for you in your size. So, woodstock, if that is the kind of ring you want - do it soon, so that you have it when you need it.

    If you want a ring made, there are some jewelers who are using newer technology. They render the ring on a CAD program. It is usually a $100.00 fee for this, but it saves you from getting something that is not quite what you wanted. You get to see the ring from all angles, make changes or not. Then they factor in the size and send the CAD rendering (with all of it's data) out to grow a laser wax mold. The computer data is fed into a device that layer by layer hardens the wax (in a block) into a perfect mold of the ring. Then they cast it in the metal of your choice and set the stones. It's actually equipment that has been used in the dental industry for a long time, now for jewelry. I just had a ring done with this method, and it is perfect. I designed it, brought it to my jeweler, he did the CAD rendering, I made some adjustments, I am thrilled with it. And it has the milgrain work too.
  13. danceronice

    danceronice Corgi Wrangler

    A lot of the rings on that site are antique or vintage, too. There's a beautiful child's ring (something like a size 2) from the mid-19th century that has no stones but can't be resized, either--I can't see how you'd do that without destroying the etched designs (as about the only thing I can see someone wanting to do is make it larger.) Also charge most of the old rings too much, and except for the ones with REALLY BIG stones, you've destroyed the real value of the item.

    I actually wonder about some of those rings, though--the weight of the gold alone ought to be worth more than the prices on some. (A lot of the antique diamond settings are like my great-grandmother's, about the same age--designed to make a tiny stone look flashier. That's what I don't like about the rings cluttered with tiny stones and chips, 'bling' is really 'cheap way to make up weight.' But what do I know, the ring I like on that site is the $6700 sapphire. And then I lost time browsing the OTHER vintage/antique/estate jewelry.)
  14. woodstock

    woodstock Active Member

    Oh we're very aware of all these points now! It's just one on the shortlist, we're going to consult with the jeweler first. (I'm just linking these sites as examples to show the jeweler, we won't purchase from anyone but him!) And he does the wax trial rings too, that's what he did with my cousin's rings before he made them. I may even ask if the design can just be made on the top half of the ring, so the lower part along my palm is just a band. Might help with durability. I'll let the expert guide us. I've even shortlisted one or two gold bands that have etching, to add a bit of sparkle but without diamonds, if that made sense.

    And we're doing better. I think he's going to be licking his wounds for a bit, which is sad, but he really did put his heart and effort (and a lot of money) to try and find something he thought was perfect. I think that was really the part of why I had decided ultimately to keep the ring back at New Years, he really did try to make it special. It was just a piece of jewelery (not like a house or car or other really big item), and it wasn't worth hurting him over it to return it just because rotten people rained on my parade when I announced my engagement by dissing the ring. (and yes, being engaged and marrying the man I love and adore is the BEST part of it all, but you have to admit that the first week showing off the ring is supposed to add to the fun of it. Not take away from the moment. That's where my hurt came in).

    I guess we were just fortunate, of sorts, that when it did break it was within the return window.

    I'm only just a little sad that I won't have my engagement ring to pass down to a daughter or son someday, and I won't have the ring that was in the box as he was down on his knee. It was those kind of thoughts and sentiment that made it hard for me. But hopefully for some anniversary he'll gift the design back to me as anniversary band and we'll have some unique stories to tell over it all.

    It was very fortunate that I had planned his surprise 40th birthday party on Saturday night, I think it helped him forget Saturday morning. Not only did we manage to surprise him, I got about 25 of his friends and family all gathered in one place for him and just for him. So even though the morning was absolutely rotten, he was too busy enjoying the party and smiling afterward all day Sunday about it. Helped cheer his spirits, which makes me feel better.

    And this week we shall go to the jeweler and look at options together! I think he got jewelery 101 all in a few days time. Every band I show him the first words out of his mouth are "how durable is it?". LOL!
  15. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    If they are vintage, some of the gold may be hollow or 12kt. I have a beautiful necklace, that was my great grandmother's. It was made in Italy (that's where she lived). It is a filagree gold, sort of braided chain. About 1/2" wide. It has 2 hidden clasps that turn it into 2 bracelets. But the links are hollow. I took it to a jeweler, to have it appraised. They said there was not a lot of gold weight, but it is 18kt Italian gold. They also said that the workmanship on the necklace was worth more than the actual gold (all of the links are hand rolled and engraved). That I should not part with it. I had no intention of parting with it, I was just curious.

    I wanted to address the part I bolded. This is why you should always try and remove stones from a gold piece you want to sell. Often the jeweler will "approximate" the stone weight and subtract it from the weight of the piece. They then give you what they estimate is the value of the gold. It's usually less than what you should get.

    Woodstock, if you are sad about not having an engagement ring, why don't you get a different one? You and your fiancee could enjoy the hunt. Try on lots of rings, make it a special time for both of you.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2012
  16. MacMadame

    MacMadame Cat Lady-in-Training

    So are you going to go back to your thread about your fiance's b'day party and update us on the details? (I guess you could do it here but people who are interested in that and not the ring might not look here.)
  17. TygerTyger

    TygerTyger Well-Known Member

    Very important!
    But don't forget comfort as well. I have a band in the style that you site. Love it! But... :shuffle: it isn't the most comfortable thing in the world; and I only wear it occasionally.
  18. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

    Yes, and the stories will mean more to your children and grandchildren than passing down a ring given according to the romantic fantasy of engagement.

    With your stories you give yourself. Ultimately, they mean a lot more than a ring.
  19. Japanfan

    Japanfan Well-Known Member

    Yes, and the stories will mean more to your children and grandchildren than passing down a ring given according to the romantic fantasy of engagement.

    With your stories you give yourself, who you uniquely are.

    Ultimately, they mean a lot more than a ring.
  20. Anita18

    Anita18 Well-Known Member

    And let's be honest, how many people are going to want a cocktail butterfly ring as their engagement ring? :lol:

    Only one of my engaged friends so far received a relative's engagement ring as her own (her grandmother's), and it was an atypical style, but still very classic and wouldn't be mistaken for a cocktail ring in a thousand years. ;)

    On my way home from Nationals today, I happened to meet another skating fan and while conversing, somehow got on the topic of marriages. And of course he didn't speak about his wedding nor the engagement, but on the 37 years he got with a loving wife and a terrific partnership. :)
  21. AnnM

    AnnM Well-Known Member

    Has nothing to do with reputation. I was referring to ripped off from a price perspective. Mall stores are vastly overpriced compared to other sources.

    My husband purchased my rings in LA's jewelry district. Similar rings, but of smaller size and lesser quality, would have cost him 3x as much at a mall store. He knows this because he started looking for my ring in mall stores, saw the ridiculous price they wanted to charge for crap diamonds (flaws visible to the naked eye), and realized that there had to be an alternative.
  22. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    This actually raises a good point. An engagement ring (or any significant jewelry purchase) is an investment. It should be approached with the same research as buying a house, buying financial products. There are various levels of stones, various levels of gold kt, and various levels of workmanship. Be informed. Most mall stores count on you not knowing much about jewelry.
  23. FigureSpins

    FigureSpins Well-Known Member

    Some homeowners/renters insurance policies have jewelry limits, so if you do have several expensive pieces, you should spend the $20 to get a policy rider to cover the higher amount. When we married, I had my engagement ring along with two other heirloom diamond rings that had been passed down to me. Upon appraisal, we went beyond our limits. Thankfully, we've never had to claim, but better safe than sorry.
  24. cruisin

    cruisin Banned Member

    ^^ yes. It is also a good idea to have your more valuable pieces re-appraised every 5-10 years. The rider covers the cost of replacing the item. If the appraisal is 20 years old and the cost to replace it has inflated, your kind of out of luck.