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Thread: Miss/Ms/Mrs.?

  1. #1

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    Miss/Ms/Mrs.?

    If you are a woman, what title do you prefer?

    I am single and it offends me when people call me Mrs. It offends me even more when they say that they were trying to be 'polite' or 'respectful'. The implication (to me at least) is that if a woman is not a 'Mrs.' she is to be respected less.

    If it's a face to face or a two-way phone conversation, I am able to correct them and ask that they address me as 'Ms.' which is neither Miss or Mrs. When they leave me messages, addressing me as 'Mrs.' that's when I feel very irritated that they are making assumptions about me (that I am married, and/or I prefer being called 'Mrs.' as a more respectable title).

    Actually I prefer being called 'Dr.' since I have a Ph.D., but not everyone knows that, so I am OK with either Ms. (preferable) or Miss, but I find 'Mrs.' rather offensive. They never ask a man whether he is married or not; why should it matter for a woman when it comes to how to address her, and why is 'Mrs.' considered more polite or respectable than Ms. or Miss?

    I am sure that it's a non-issue for many women, but it is something important to me. May be it's just my pet peeve.
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  2. #2

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    Being called Miss is my favorite, since that implies youth. Though I guess I don’t care too much if I get called Miss/Ms/Mrs. Any of them are better than maam – which is what I get from all the baggers at the grocery store.
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    I've never had anyone call me Mrs. I'm surprised that anyone would just presume.

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    No, you're not alone!

    I prefer no title at all -- but I know there are some contexts where users feel it inappropriate to call me by my first name, so in those cases Ms is the only option. Do not call me Miss, do not call me Mrs. Why would anyone think they can make assumptions about my, or anyone's, marital status?

    But I'm not sure which bugs me more: people who call me Mrs or people (usually men) who sarcastically over-emphasize the Ms -- especially when corrected after calling me Mrs. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mizzzzzzz Hunter."

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    Vash01 - Yes you have company!
    I am single and prefer Miss or Ms.
    since I have caller ID, I hardly answer my phone, but before - with telemarketers - they would ask for Mrs Murphy - and I would ask 'who is calling?' and most time they were snotty. Then I would tell them Mrs. Murphy was dead (my mom). The Mrs gave it away that they were not familiar with me.
    Mrs - sounds old to me.
    When I ask for someone, I always say Ms - nice neutral way.

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    I am definitely a Ms and have been using it since my early 20s. Hate being called Miss because that is what you call little girls or a Mrs because never been married. Also liked that it didn't identify whether you were married or single which men didn't have to go through so I felt it was a good term for security reasons.

    At work one day when one of my colleagues started going on what the big deal was about it (in a rather nasty and aggressive fashion). In response I suggested "well my mum is divorced so what is she meant to call herself?". She actually knew my mum by chance because she was doing a course with her. Kind of put a personal slant on it. After that she made no further comment.

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    Nice to see I have company

    Ideally, I prefer 'No title', but if they must use one, it's either Dr. (if it's professional and they must use a title) or Ms. (if they don't know me, except for my gender, which is pretty obvious on the phone). Sometimes I just say - it's OK to call me by my first name, or just "it's Ms.".

    Snoopy, I do resent the 'Maam' regardless of where or who is calling me that, unless I am in Texas- there it's often Yes maam, or it would be considered rude.

  8. #8
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    I prefer Ms. or Mrs., but I never get that worked up about it. If someone truly doesn't know and is guessing, there is no reason to be offended.

  9. #9
    I <3 Kozuka
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    I think it's too bad that "Mrs." only refers to married women. In Europe, I'm "Frau" or "Madame" not because I have a husband, but because I'm not a girl (a Fraulein or a Mademoiselle).
    "The team doesn't get automatic capacity because management is mad" -- Greg Smith, agile guy

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by kwanfan1818 View Post
    I think it's too bad that "Mrs." only refers to married women. In Europe, I'm "Frau" or "Madame" not because I have a husband, but because I'm not a girl (a Fraulein or a Mademoiselle).
    I think that's fair, but what is the age limit to make that switch?

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Veronika View Post
    I prefer Ms. or Mrs., but I never get that worked up about it. If someone truly doesn't know and is guessing, there is no reason to be offended.
    The reason I am offended is that they are not only making assumptions about my marital status, but they are also telling me that by calling me 'Mrs.' they are being polite or respectful (those are the words used by them; I am not imagining). Why is 'Mrs.' more respectful than Miss or Ms.?

    I can see that if someone is married, she may not mind the 'Mrs.' that much (although I have some married friends that I cannot imagine being called 'Mrs.'). I just think 'Mrs.' is a bad word because it is based on sexism. They never make that differentiation about men.

  12. #12
    I <3 Kozuka
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    I think it depends on context: if there's a wedding ring, then Madame, but if there is none and the person can see you, it probably depends on how old the person thinks you are and how that age is seen. In formal correspondence, I'm always address as the equivalent of "Mrs." The assumption is the more respectful title in e-commerce
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  13. #13
    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
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    I'm shocked that anyone under the age of 60 still refers to females of any marital status in a professional setting as anything other than Ms. I suppose it's generational, but I think both Miss and Mrs are disrespectful because they both tie the woman's title to her relationship to someone else.

    I'm old enough to both get "ma'am" frequently and to no longer be indignant about it.
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    I don't know how to pronounce Ms. and Miss differently.

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    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
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    Miz vs Misss
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  16. #16

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    When I must pick, I pick "Ms." But if you call me Mrs. or Miss, I don't care.

    I also don't care if you call me by my last name, or that of my husband. I just know how little you know me if you call me "Mrs. Myhusband'slastname".
    Use Yah Blinkah!

  17. #17

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    I prefer to be called Ms.
    I hate Mrs. I am not my marital status.
    There is no differential for men, so why should women be defined by if they are married or not.
    My local newspaper often features old photos of community events. Even ones from the mid '70's caption the women depicted as "Mrs. George Brown" and "Mrs. Joe Smith". Their first names are not even relevant, as once a woman was married, her identity was tied to her husband.

  18. #18

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    I am married but don't like being called "Mrs halffull" because it makes me too connected to my mil who I'm not fond of. In a professional setting it has to be done but really, just call me by my first name, that makes me happiest

  19. #19
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    Generally the only time people call me with a title is in a work setting, so I prefer "Ms" since I don't think a person's marital status should be an emphasis in a professional setting. However, unless someone was calling me one of the titles in a deliberately sarcastic tone, I wouldn't be offended if someone called me a different title.
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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by genevieve View Post
    Miz vs Misss
    Oh, in that case I prefer miss because I hate the z sound

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