I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts on how to deal with other adults' hangups about food. I like to cook, and I like to share food others. It is my practice, when I invite people for dinner to ask them whether there are any foods they can't eat or won't eat. It's usually not a problem dealing with people who won't eat red meat, shellfish, gluten, etc. or who have very specific allergies that they identify. But sometimes, I feel like throwing up my hands in defeat. Four cases in point:
My brother's girlfriend (a lovely person): When I first met her, she told me that she didn't eat anything with sugar in it, but it turns out she used a lot of honey and carried a plastic bag with fig newtons in her purse. Since then, she has started to eat other things with sugar in them. Early on, I asked her if she had any food allergies, and she said no. Then I made nettle soup, and she told me she was allergic to nettles. Last weekend, she revealed that she's allergic to citrus fruit. I've made many things that she has known contain citrus, but she didn't mention anything about her allergy at the time.
An ex-girlfriend: She didn't like any food with visible bones in it, like lamb chops or a T-bone stake. She also didn't like any whole fish, like trout, that still had its head on it. On top of that, she was in Overeaters Anonymous and wouldn't eat anything with added sugar.
Another ex-girlfriend: She would announce that she didn't "like" certain kinds of food, for example, rice and chicken. One time, we went out to a cafe, and she told me she wasn't very hungry. I suggested we could share something. I told her I was going to order a bowl of vegetable soup, but she got me to order grape gazpacho (which I didn't expect to like and which we both agreed didn't taste very good) and chicken tikka massala with rice!
A male friend: He makes a big deal of avoiding foods with carbohydrates or sugar. Fresh fruit, rice, potatoes, wine, beer (other than "lite beer" -- he either won't have any or he'll have a tiny bit and remark how they aren't part of his normal diet. He also refused to eat chicken livers when I made them because he had, in the past, had a problem with cholesterol.
Any words of wisdom people might have, including how to take all of this in stride, would be most welcome.