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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vash01 View Post
    I think it's a good idea. The family doctor could even recommend a psychiatrist to you, and you could get a quick appointment.

    I think seeing the past therapist may be a good idea too. He/she may be able to do something, like prescribing a drug that you feel comfortable with.

    As long as you do something about it, you are on the right track. If you don't feel you have the energy to do something, is there a family member or a friend that could give you a ride?
    Agreed. Even little steps is forward progress toward getting better.

    I do find it disappointing that your current psychiatrist is being unhelpful, but it sounds like you have other options if it comes to that.

  2. #82

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    {{{Gazpacho}}} Hang in there. You are taking positive steps, even though it might not feel like it.

  3. #83
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    I wish I could say I'm surprised by how your psychatrist treated you over the phone, but w/my own experiences I'm not. When a drug you *know* does not work is being pushed on you and you aren't being listened to, it's time to find a new Mental Health Professional. ITA w/the others about either talking to your previous Therapist or going to your Family Doctor and letting him/her know what's going on.

    Know we're all here thinking of you and also keeping you in our prayers. A really good friend of ours, her Husband is in Pallative Care now the Cancer's spread to his bones, she had a good cry the other night when talking to my Mom on the phone, which she needed because she's trying so hard to keep up a cheerful and also brave face when she's w/him. I guess she said she was at the end of her rope dealing w/all that's going on, because Mom told her...

    Just tie a good strong knot on the end of that rope and keep hanging on!!

    That's what you need to do and if all else fails....Remember that all of us have formed a really strong chain rope of holding hands of support and hang on to us as tight as you can.

    Hoping for a better day for you tomorrow.

  4. #84

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    Hugs, Gazpacho. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and not getting the help you need. Psych hospitals can be such horrible places.

    I second the advice to see a family doctor. But at worst, please go to the ER and lie to get a referral if you have to. It's your life on the line here.

    If you at least got some meds to just knock you out for a few days, might it help? From what I've seen that is pretty much all that folks get in psych hospital. A medicated break, after which a person has hopefully calmed down enough to see things more clearly. I'm sorry to say this, but you do sound to be in very rough shape.

    A better alternative might be to contact a mental health advocacy group in your area. Might there be one? Such groups or associations are often staffed by individuals who have a psych history and they tend to be on your side while trying to help you get the support you need.

  5. #85
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    Just wanted to check in and let you know that I am keeping you in my thoughts. Sending more virtual support and hugs your way.

  6. #86

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gazpacho View Post
    I got a hold of the psychiatrist's assistant who got a hold of the psychiatrist, and I was able to speak with him briefly. My psychiatrist had never head about ketamine treatment for depression. He said to go back on Wellbutrin. I reminded him that I went off Wellbutrin because it didn't work. I had tried it a couple years ago, two different doses, and then 3-4 months last year. It's always been like water--no effect. But he said that maybe the dose wasn't right, so he wants me to try another dose.
    I'm not currently working with patients or in a clinical setting, so I'll be more candid than I am normally about these topics on FSU. I would strongly suggest looking for a comprehensive mental health group. Unfortunately, it it likely that there won't be one nearby, but it's worth investigating. By comprehensive I mean one clinic that houses/oversees a variety of practitioners, at the very least a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist (if there is also primary care services, that's a great bonus). In my opinion, a psychiatrist alone is not sufficient to address treatment-resistant depression. If you can see a therapist and physician that are colleagues and able to work collaboratively with you, that's a good avenue to explore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gazpacho View Post
    I can't go on like this. I need to try something new. My psychiatrist is probably thinking, as long as I'm this down, I won't commit suicide because I don't have the energy or motivation. That's acceptable to a doctor who undoubtedly has had patients commit suicide. But it's not acceptable to me.

    NinjaTurtles, I was seeing a therapist regularly, but in the past two months, I've been so down that I can't even get to her office.
    My bias towards comprehensive mental health promotion is going to show here, but the treatment you'll receive from a psychiatrist and a therapist will vary greatly. Similarly, the treatment you'll receive from a therapist will vary greatly from therapist to therapist. Therapist is a vague title that can refer to a lot of different degrees and training. In addition to working out your medication routine with your psychiatrist, please consider a consultation with a clinical psychologist. Obviously I can't comment on what education/therapy paradigm is best for your needs, but if you're combating depressive thoughts you may want to find someone with cognitive-behavioral training.

    If you are finding it difficult to meet with a therapist regularly, consider looking for a provider that practices Distance Therapy. GoodTherapy.org has an advanced search function that can help you find a therapist that does online counseling/phone therapy: http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html

    Suicide ideation is a very serious concern and you deserve relief. Perhaps you can try to do some mindfulness meditation? This can be very effective in treating the cognitive symptoms of depression and works great in combination with psychopharmacological and other psychotherapeutic interventions. I know some like to recommend Dr. Tara Brach's free introductory, guided meditations: http://www.tarabrach.com/audioarchiv...ditations.html. There are a lot of free resources out there on mindfulness; it's not for everyone, but it can be worth a shot.

    (((Gazpacho))), I hope you're feeling better today.
    Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.

  7. #87
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    Gazpacho, I am sending you another PM, re: meds. I hope you got my first one. XOXO

    I want to tell you that I am really proud of you. You are being pro-active. You are looking for solutions. This is a really good sign!
    Last edited by cruisin; 02-04-2014 at 06:38 PM.

  8. #88

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    Sorry to hear that there has been no progress in finding some support and relief in your situation, Gazpacho.
    Please know that there are many here that are thinking of you and sending positive and healing thoughts out to you.
    Keep posting, as it may be some relief just to type your feelings out. Someone is always around to lend a shoulder and words of encouragement and understanding.
    I hope you find your light again, very soon.
    Judi

  9. #89

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    How I wish I could help. Hope your days improve and you find energy and joy again.

  10. #90

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    Sending you love and support, Gazpacho. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

  11. #91

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    Hi Gazpacho,

    Just checking in...have you been able to contact a therapist yet? NinjaTurtles had some great suggestions.

    Thinking about you out here in snowland.

  12. #92
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    Gazpacho, please check in with us. We just want to know how you are doing. We are a bunch of mother hens and we worry.

  13. #93

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    Continuing to keep you in my prayers and thoughts, Gazpacho. Please check in when you can.
    Charter member of the "We Always Believed in Ashley" Club and the "We Believe in Ricky" Club
    Old, lonely, pathos-hungry, and extremely gullible

  14. #94

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    Gaz, have a hug. They're free and we have lots of them.
    AceOn6, the golf loving skating fan

  15. #95
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    Do something, anything, that gives you joy or makes you happy: a funny book or tv show, a favorite place or food...anything, even if the happiness is only for a short time. Try to focus on that as much as possible and know that people here care and are concerned about you.

    Stay strong Gaz.

  16. #96
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    I hope today was better than yesterday and tomorrow better than both. Let us know how you are :-)
    Have a nice day!

  17. #97

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    We care and are concerned about you.
    (((((Gazpacho)))))

  18. #98

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    ((((Gazpacho))) Hoping you are doing better.
    BARK LESS. WAG MORE.

  19. #99

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    Yesterday and today have been bad. Yesterday I was supposed to go to physical therapy but started panicking. Now I've missed four physical therapy appointments in a row, so they'll probably kick me out as a patient. Today I've been feeling basically the same.

    Quote Originally Posted by AragornElessar View Post
    When a drug you *know* does not work is being pushed on you and you aren't being listened to, it's time to find a new Mental Health Professional.
    Quote Originally Posted by NinjaTurtles View Post
    I'm not currently working with patients or in a clinical setting, so I'll be more candid than I am normally about these topics on FSU. I would strongly suggest looking for a comprehensive mental health group. Unfortunately, it it likely that there won't be one nearby, but it's worth investigating. By comprehensive I mean one clinic that houses/oversees a variety of practitioners, at the very least a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist (if there is also primary care services, that's a great bonus).
    That would be great if it were feasible, but it's not. I'm in a remote area with few psychiatrists. There are doctors in the city about a hour from here, but when I can't even get out of bed, it's impractical and unsafe to drive over an hour. I used to see someone in that city but left because it was so hard to get to appointments that I missed a lot of them.

    The psychiatrists in town that get good reviews aren't taking any new patients.


    Quote Originally Posted by kwanatic View Post
    Do something, anything, that gives you joy or makes you happy: a funny book or tv show, a favorite place or food...anything, even if the happiness is only for a short time.
    That's part of the problem. Nothing gives me pleasure these days. I had hobbies and was really excited about learning to paint a month ago, but these days I feel just as depressed on the rare occasions when I've done it.

    My absolute favorite thing in the world is the Olympics, and they're starting tonight, and I don't even feel like watching

    Thanks for all your support.

  20. #100
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    Thanks so much for checking in with us! Turn the olympics on anyway, maybe something will catch your attention.

    I like painting too! If you ever want to talk about art or share your stuff I'd welcome that.

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