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  1. #1
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    Objective Advice

    I am a bronze level skater who recently started working with a pairs partner at my rink. Now I am having second thoughts about this partnership. My partner skates once a week and doesn't seem to want to commit to any more ice time. There is no question that our goals are not aligned. She wants to skate in shows for fun, and I want to compete at adult nationals. Moreover, my partner has no interest in taking the required singles test to form a proper pairs team.
    My wife told me to go along with this agreement to get pairs experience, but I don't think a 30-minute lesson with a pairs coach and two hours a week is enough to make progress. Perhaps this is a no-brainer, but I don't know what to do. Any helpful advice will be greatly appreciated.

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    If your goals are different, and you both know that, then I don't see much of a reason to continue skating together. Unless there are no other potential partners for you and you really want to learn pairs.
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    It is very frustrating when the goals aren't aligned. There was a guy that I did an ice dancing program with once for a competition but it was all driven by myself. After that event started talking about doing another program but I gave up. Really annoying because there were no other guys to ice dance with.

    If you are a male, then you should have no problem finding another partner.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    If your goals are different, and you both know that, then I don't see much of a reason to continue skating together. Unless there are no other potential partners for you and you really want to learn pairs.
    Thanks for the feedback. There is only a few adult ladies at my rink.

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    If your choices of partners are limited, and you really want to learn pairs, I see your dilemma. On the other hand, if your goal is to get to adult nationals, you aren't going to be able to do this with your current partner (at least not the way things are).

    Have you had a discussion with your partner about your mutual goals?
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    Thank you for the advice. I guess a was so excited to do pairs that a forgot to ask what her goals were. I am one of two adult male skaters at my rink.

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    ...yes. But she is set on doing the Christmas show and seeing what happens after that.

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    Unless doing the Christmas show gets in the way of your serious training, I'd do it and then re-evaluate. Since it is 'end of the year', it makes sense to re-evaluate then. If you really want to do pairs, it might be worth sticking with it to see if she's willing to add time and get to nationals. Maybe performing at the show will be motivation for her to want to compete.

    If you really want to do pairs, is there another rink within a 2 hour or so drive? Many adults in partnership don't have the luxury of a partner at their home rink and have to commute.

    What singles test is required to test pairs? I thought you just needed MITF and then the adult pairs tests? (At least after I tested bronze MITF my coach told me I was eligible to skate bronze pairs; but then the potential partner went ice dancing instead ) (ETA: Sorry, I assumed you are US, possibly another country has other requirements.)
    Last edited by Skittl1321; 10-20-2013 at 11:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    Unless doing the Christmas show gets in the way of your serious training, I'd do it and then re-evaluate. Since it is 'end of the year', it makes sense to re-evaluate then. If you really want to do pairs, it might be worth sticking with it to see if she's willing to add time and get to nationals. Maybe performing at the show will be motivation for her to want to compete.

    If you really want to do pairs, is there another rink within a 2 hour or so drive? Many adults in partnership don't have the luxury of a partner at their home rink and have to commute.

    What singles test is required to test pairs? I thought you just needed MITF and then the adult pairs tests? (At least after I tested bronze MITF my coach told me I was eligible to skate bronze pairs; but then the potential partner went ice dancing instead ) (ETA: Sorry, I assumed you are US, possibly another country has other requirements.)
    Yes Bronze MITF is needed and then Bronze pairs. I really like your advice. My wife's advice is similar to your (i.e., get through the Christmas show so I can build a resume. Thanks for the valuable feedback.

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    Maybe you can convince her to change her goals, and she will go to adult nationals with you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pereira View Post
    Yes Bronze MITF is needed and then Bronze pairs.
    I was thinking freeskate when you said singles test.

    I would be wary to spend too much effort on a partner who hasn't taken any MITF test. I think PB is easier than it used to be- but some skaters spend years working on Bronze.

    Go to Christmas, then figure it out.

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    and if after Christmas you decide to look for a different partner, being a male works in your favor!
    have a clear conversation with your current partner, and start asking coaches around
    and there is always icepartnersearch.com

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    I was thinking freeskate when you said singles test.

    I would be wary to spend too much effort on a partner who hasn't taken any MITF test. I think PB is easier than it used to be- but some skaters spend years working on Bronze.

    Go to Christmas, then figure it out.
    Thanks again:-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jjane45 View Post
    and if after Christmas you decide to look for a different partner, being a male works in your favor!
    have a clear conversation with your current partner, and start asking coaches around
    and there is always icepartnersearch.com
    Good! I feel better now that I have a plan moving forward. Time to start Christian rehearsals:-)

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    If your long-term goals are different, that makes everything that much harder. Here are some other things to consider that should help you reach a decision after the Xmas show
    -are both of you making progress on pairs elements during your lesson?
    -are there any female coaches who would be willing to do a combination of lesson & partnering so you could still maintain your current skill-level and even start practing some new elements in case you can't work things out with your current partner?

    Hopefully you can find someone else who skates close enough to make a partnership work, but in case that doesn't happen, it might be worthwhile to keep practicing together until you find a full-time partner who would also want to compete more.
    Last edited by ioana; 10-22-2013 at 02:37 AM.

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    I hope that you will post a vid here of your Christmas show performance.
    Good luck making the decision if she doesn't want to change her goals.
    Just keep her informed of your goals and possibilities of what may happen to your partnership at certain points, etc. You may still want to do some skating with her (for fun/shows/practice) if your next partner is a far commute or there are other issues.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ioana View Post
    If your long-term goals are different, that makes everything that much harder. Here are some other things to consider that should help you reach a decision after the Xmas show
    -are both of you making progress on pairs elements during your lesson?
    -are there any female coaches who would be willing to do a combination of lesson & partnering so you could still maintain your current skill-level and even start practing some new elements in case you can't work things out with your current partner?

    Hopefully you can find someone else who skates close enough to make a partnership work, but in case that doesn't happen, it might be worthwhile to keep practicing together until you find a full-time partner who would also want to compete more.
    ...this is solid advice. I never thought about using a pairs female coach for partnering. Why didn't I think of this:-)

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileyskate View Post
    I hope that you will post a vid here of your Christmas show performance.
    Good luck making the decision if she doesn't want to change her goals.
    Just keep her informed of your goals and possibilities of what may happen to your partnership at certain points, etc. You may still want to do some skating with her (for fun/shows/practice) if your next partner is a far commute or there are other issues.
    ...Thank you for the kind words. My current partner is a wonderful caring person. Regardless of what happens, I don't want to lose a good friend. Perhaps if I do find a new partner, she will be okay with it, as long as I still skate with her for fun.

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