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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    Yes, children from dysfunctional families have the deck largely stacked against them in life. Handing over their adult decisions to their dysfunctional parents will just make those odds even worse.
    Does it? I don't know one way or another.

    But it seems to me that if you are the product of a dysfunctional home and are thus likely to make dysfunctional decisions for yourself, it would work out about the same. The decision is being made by a dysfunctional person, which would stack the odds but never seal fate.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    Does it? I don't know one way or another.
    I generally favor letting adults, who are acting with more inside information than the rest of us likely have, decide if their parents are good consultants for their adult decisions.

  3. #63

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    Quote Originally Posted by orbitz View Post
    Jessa's very pretty. And she has good hair! LOL. I though all the girls get the same home poodle perm that the mom has, but Jessa's hair looks good and healthy.
    She certainly is. I have always enjoyed watching her on the show. She also has a fun sense of humor.
    DH - and that's just my opinion

  4. #64

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    Quote Originally Posted by LilJen View Post
    Rollicking good time indeed. Although there are some pretty fun scripture passages out there. And good sermons. But I can't imagine they're talking about how weird them Israelites were sacrificing a dove and running around the house 7 times and having a priest ritually cleanse their homes when mold was found.


    So, Jim Bob will let his daughter marry ONLY someone who's called to the ministry? Is there something wrong with being married to a mechanic, salesperson, doctor, backhoe operator, teacher, etc?
    Intrinsically, of course not. But, if you plan a trip to Florida best not head for Kansas. Jessa wants to lead a spiritual life, and ministry is a huge part of her plan. So, really smart to narrow her search to people who want the same thing. One could argue that she should want something else..........but she doesn't.
    DH - and that's just my opinion

  5. #65

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    Keeper of Nathalie Pechelat's bitchface.

  6. #66
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    To a guy who went to a real university, is from as small family, and whose mom wears pants! Yes he's a missionary, but I think that's as liberal as the duggsrs will go.

  7. #67

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    Interesting that the episode of the show that was on this week made it appear that Jessa found this guy pretty much on her own. But the Daily Mail story says that Jim Bob knew the guy from his missionary work, and he was the one who introduced them.
    You should never write words with numbers. Unless you're seven. Or your name is Prince. - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Word Crimes"

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by mag View Post
    I know very little about this family, but I do hope she has not decided to just pick someone her parents deem acceptable, just to get out of the house. 20 and 18 is very young, heck 22 and 20 is very young for marriage (assuming they do the courtship thing for 2 years.) When you factor in the fact that divorce is probably next to impossible, I just hope she chooses someone she loves rather than someone her father thinks she should love.
    But how can she have 20 kids of her own if she doesn't start NOW??? Come on, time's a wastin'....

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    I think it's so odd that people think Jim Bob is the one who benefits. To me, this is alllllllll about Michelle, and she is the one who gets the most out of it. Jim Bob may think he is the head of the household, but to me, it seems obvious that Michelle runs everything, including him.



    Because they all know how strong the temptation to sin is, and so they believe that the best way to resist temptation is not to allow it any space to develop. They don't consider this to be true of just their own children, either. Most people who believe in this way also have fairly strict social rules about how adults behave as well. For example, it is highly unlikely that Jim Bob would ever, say, meet a woman for a business lunch that was just the two of them. Or say that a married female neighbor was in the hospital and Michelle decided to share a casserole for the family. She would either a) be sure she didn't stay more than a couple of minutes when she dropped it off, b) take someone else with her, or c) send two of the girls to deliver it. She would not, however, spend a lot of time alone with the woman's husband, nor would she allow her daughters to do so.

    It's not just about avoiding temptation; it's also about avoiding the possible appearance of sin. You never want to give anyone, especially unbelievers, cause to think that you are maybe sneaking around doing something you shouldn't, even if you aren't actually doing anything wrong. That's part of the whole "never left alone" thing; to their way of thinking, that makes it much easier to remember that God is always watching (and so is someone else) and that your behavior is always being judged.
    Well, I was raised with no religion whatsoever but had parents with good values. My mother's whole objective was to raise me so that I would make good and sensible decisions when I'm alone in the face of temptation. I think I've done that. The difference between my mother's approach and the Duggars' is that my mother's approach appeals to reason, logic, and common sense not to mention has an absence of judgment. In other words, I should behave a certain way not because it's what God wants but because it is the kind and reasonable way to behave in civilized society.

  10. #70
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    I can't wait until one of those kids becomes an open atheist. It's bound to happen.

  11. #71

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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    I can't wait until one of those kids becomes an open atheist. It's bound to happen.
    Statistically - 2 are likely to be gay.
    As of March 2013 - no longer scared of TAHbKA or Andrey aka Pushkin

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    Well, I was raised with no religion whatsoever but had parents with good values. My mother's whole objective was to raise me so that I would make good and sensible decisions when I'm alone in the face of temptation. I think I've done that. The difference between my mother's approach and the Duggars' is that my mother's approach appeals to reason, logic, and common sense not to mention has an absence of judgment.
    We're all special and unique, aren't we?

    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    In other words, I should behave a certain way not because it's what God wants but because it is the kind and reasonable way to behave in civilized society.
    It's very impressive to see absence of judgment in print like this.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    Interesting that the episode of the show that was on this week made it appear that Jessa found this guy pretty much on her own. But the Daily Mail story says that Jim Bob knew the guy from his missionary work, and he was the one who introduced them.
    You might be confusing Jessa and Jill. Jessa is courting some 18 year old (Ben, I think) whose family makes manufactured homes. Jill is engaged to the guy (Derrik?) who was a prayer partner with Jim Bob while he was a missionary.

    Honestly- it seems like both men sought out the family. Ben said his family attended church with the Duggars- but they live over 2 hours away. So they came to go to church with the Duggars- that's quite the roadtrip. Plus his Mom appears to be a bit of a fame whore the way she has appeared on camera, he set up his own facebook fanpage, and his family is the one that leaked the relationship to the press. Derrik doesn't seem quite as stalkerish- but it does appear he sought out a connection with Jim Bob.

    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    But how can she have 20 kids of her own if she doesn't start NOW??? Come on, time's a wastin'....
    You think Michelle is going to let one of her kids break her "record" (except it isn't one). No way.
    Besides-if Michelle lets too many of the older girls go, she'll have to parent the little kids herself.

  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    To a guy who went to a real university, is from as small family, and whose mom wears pants! Yes he's a missionary, but I think that's as liberal as the duggsrs will go.
    He seems like a good catch for her, and I hope Jessa follows this example. Ben may seem great right now considering how sheltered she has been, but he's very young and doesn't seem to have great prospects. Hopefully, she either waits for him to demonstrate some actual accomplishment or finds someone else. I live in OKC and travel to NW Arkansas a couple times a year for my son's soccer events, and there are several actually decent Christian universities between here and there. Plus, even the public universities in both states are chock full of evangelicals (like Derick), this being the Bible Belt. It shouldn't be hard for a girl as beautiful and composed as Jessa to attract the interest of a nice Christian boy who also has a solid education and the ability to support a large family without handouts from her family.

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    Is anyone else turned off by Michelle's giggling (You don't get to do this yet! Ha! Ha!) & Jim Bob's forever hugging, kissing, touching Michelle in public? They act more like undisciplined teenagers IMO than their children do. And double dating with the girls? Is this a sign of "don't do as we did, just do as we say?"

  16. #76
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    It certainly makes me question their idea of modesty...

  17. #77

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    Quote Originally Posted by merrywidow View Post
    Is anyone else turned off by Michelle's giggling (You don't get to do this yet! Ha! Ha!) & Jim Bob's forever hugging, kissing, touching Michelle in public? They act more like undisciplined teenagers IMO than their children do. And double dating with the girls? Is this a sign of "don't do as we did, just do as we say?"
    One of many "mixed messages" they send to their children. IMO.
    I wonder if they give instruction on "seemly" intimate behavior after marriage, also?

  18. #78

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    Quote Originally Posted by merrywidow View Post
    Is anyone else turned off by Michelle's giggling (You don't get to do this yet! Ha! Ha!) & Jim Bob's forever hugging, kissing, touching Michelle in public? They act more like undisciplined teenagers IMO than their children do. And double dating with the girls? Is this a sign of "don't do as we did, just do as we say?"
    JimBob is nothing more than a horn dog, and Michelle is about as emotionally mature as a 12 year old. When JB was standing behind Michelle helping her with her mini-golf swing and she was grinding her ass against him, I couldn't believe it. Modesty?? Are you kidding me? I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

  19. #79

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    You might be confusing Jessa and Jill. Jessa is courting some 18 year old (Ben, I think) whose family makes manufactured homes. Jill is engaged to the guy (Derrik?) who was a prayer partner with Jim Bob while he was a missionary.
    You're right, I did get them mixed up. Jill is the one who was on this week's episode, and I know it was Derik (?) she was talking to because she was Skyping with him while he was in Nepal. And she had to call Jim Bob and Michelle to sit in the room with her while she was on the computer

    But nevertheless, the show did make it appear that Jill had found Derik online and didn't know him otherwise, while the Daily Mail story (if that's true, and who knows, it's the Daily Mail) has a slightly different version of events.
    You should never write words with numbers. Unless you're seven. Or your name is Prince. - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Word Crimes"

  20. #80

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    Watched last night's episodes - Jessa and Jill are going through their courtships (Jill is engaged right now and getting married pretty soon.)

    So far, Jessa and Ben seem to be a cute couple. But when they visited Josh & Anna in the DC area - well, Josh has just come across as douchey to me.

    I know Jill and Jim Bob visited Derick in Nepal where their courtship became official, but I do wonder if they still needed more time actually together before getting engaged. But maybe being on Skype everyday is enough.

    But the stuff about Michelle and wondering if she is "done with having little ones" has me flabbergasted: Duggars visit fertility doctor: 'We would love' more children, parents of 19 say.

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