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  1. #1

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    Duggar Family - New season....and now a new courtship!

    People.com - Jessa Duggar Enters Courtship with Ben Seewald
    I didn't know this: Josh Duggar moving to D.C. for political job with Family Research Council

    I live in Arlington, VA and work in DC. It would be interesting to see Josh Duggar at a Metro Station.

    I'm guess there's going to be another wedding - I don't think they would put this "courtship" on the show if there wasn't. I am wondering what's going on with Jana, John-David, and Jill. They are older than Jessa is. I'm assuming they aren't going to school, so are they just waiting around for a courtship to get out of the house?

  2. #2
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    the whole side hug thing has me so eye rolly i need a doctor
    I feel like I'm in a dream. But it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers!

  3. #3

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    I can't wait to read the comments at FreeJinger.com :popcorn:

    I'm glad one of the Duggar girls will be (hopefully) allowed to leave the compound...
    Last edited by oleada; 09-18-2013 at 02:16 AM.

  4. #4
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    Josh Duggar is a "fresh new face"? Age-wise, yes, but I suspect he has the same conservative viewpoints that have pretty much discredited the legitimacy of the "research" from the Family Research Council in the past.
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    I just don't understand this family. All they talk about is how well they've raised their children, and what strong morals and beliefs they've instilled in them -- yet they apparently don't trust them as far as they can thrown them because they never allow them to be alone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    Josh Duggar is a "fresh new face"? Age-wise, yes, but I suspect he has the same conservative viewpoints that have pretty much discredited the legitimacy of the "research" from the Family Research Council in the past.
    ETA: Jessa is 20 and she's in a "courtship" with a guy who's 18? Cradle robber!!
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

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    I come from the same group/background as the Duggars so I'm very familiar with the courtship thing. I do feel for them, that it has to be so public. I knew a couple who had their courtship very much in the public eye and when it didn't work out, it was very embarrassing and awkward for everyone. I think privacy is underrated when it comes to personal relationships...

    Anyway, there's a lot I don't like about courtship as some people do it...if you're entering a relationship practically sure you plan to get married, you might as well put a ring on it. Because breaking off a courtship often feels very similar to breaking off an engagement in terms of how public it is.

    Anyway, much luck and happiness to Jessa and Ben.

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    Jessa's very pretty. And she has good hair! LOL. I though all the girls get the same home poodle perm that the mom has, but Jessa's hair looks good and healthy.

  9. #9

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    I don't get the side hug thing. They say it's so there is no 'intimate' contact, but here's the problem. If they mean upper and lower body then I'm disqualified, because a "side-hug" from me would guarantee slight contact with one of my 32DD baby girls. If they only mean lower body then I'm not sure what their concept of "Regular hug" is. I mean, it is one thing to hug tightly when you're making out and another thing to give a quick hello or goodbye hug.
    Then again there are a lot of things about the Duggars I still don't understand and probably never will.

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    "They are enjoying getting to know each other and are recommending sermons to one another."

    And rollicking good time was had by all.

    For girls raised like the Duggars, getting married is often the only way to take that first step out the door and away--or not. Whatever happens, I hope Jessa ends up having what she wants.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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    Rollicking good time indeed. Although there are some pretty fun scripture passages out there. And good sermons. But I can't imagine they're talking about how weird them Israelites were sacrificing a dove and running around the house 7 times and having a priest ritually cleanse their homes when mold was found.

    "He's the first one she has shown interest in that has a spiritual focus and legitimate calling about ministry work," he says.
    So, Jim Bob will let his daughter marry ONLY someone who's called to the ministry? Is there something wrong with being married to a mechanic, salesperson, doctor, backhoe operator, teacher, etc?
    BARK LESS. WAG MORE.

  12. #12

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    I know very little about this family, but I do hope she has not decided to just pick someone her parents deem acceptable, just to get out of the house. 20 and 18 is very young, heck 22 and 20 is very young for marriage (assuming they do the courtship thing for 2 years.) When you factor in the fact that divorce is probably next to impossible, I just hope she chooses someone she loves rather than someone her father thinks she should love.
    A good rant is cathartic. Ranting is what keeps me sane. They always come from a different place. Take the prime minister, for example. Sometimes when I rant about him, I am angry; other times, I am just severely annoyed - it's an important distinction. - Rick Mercer

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    Quote Originally Posted by LilJen View Post
    So, Jim Bob will let his daughter marry ONLY someone who's called to the ministry? Is there something wrong with being married to a mechanic, salesperson, doctor, backhoe operator, teacher, etc?
    In some fundamentalist groups, almost everyone claims to be a "minister." You could be a car mechanic by day, but you still purport to have a ministry. You don't necessarily have a building, or congregation, or even a tax-exempt designation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mag View Post
    I just hope she chooses someone she loves rather than someone her father thinks she should love.
    I don't know how she could. They can only communicate with others around, how do you truly find out if you are in tune with someone when you always have to censor yourself? Their texts go like this Jessa- to Duggar parents. If approved Duggar parents to guy's parents. If approved they go to the boy. He replies through his parents, which go to her parents, and then to her. According to the article, they mostly text about scripture. In person, they always have a chaperone.

    Although it is clear that Jessa has a say in this, and can say no; it is more or less an arranged marriage, not a love match. It is expected that if he has all the right qualities, she'll learn to fall in love with him.

    I just absolutely hate their insistence that courting is better than dating. The whole "not giving away pieces of your heart" bull shit. Assuming you actually do give your heart away, doesn't courting make it worse? You go in expecting to get married. That is a HUGE disappointment if you break up. Dating you think 'hey, this guy might be the one', and breaking up sucks; but it has to be in really deep before your heart is so truly broken. I really think they think dating means crazy monkey sex.
    Last edited by Skittl1321; 09-18-2013 at 09:18 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mag View Post
    I know very little about this family, but I do hope she has not decided to just pick someone her parents deem acceptable, just to get out of the house. 20 and 18 is very young, heck 22 and 20 is very young for marriage (assuming they do the courtship thing for 2 years.) When you factor in the fact that divorce is probably next to impossible, I just hope she chooses someone she loves rather than someone her father thinks she should love.
    Families in their tradition believe that courtship should very quickly lead to marriage. It is generally less than six months from the beginning of a "courtship" until a wedding takes place. I know one couple who met in June, officially began courting in late July, were engaged in mid-August and married in November. Another couple I know of met and married in about three and a half months. The Duggars may take a bit longer as Josh and Anna apparently began courting in January, 2008 and were married in September. But they absolutely will not allow it to be over a year, let alone two years.

    I also had a student who was supposed to marry someone she had not actually met. The courtship was phone based and mostly discussions between the boy's father and her uncle. She was 16. Her mother pulled her out of the Christian school to prepare for a wedding. Not sure what happened from there, but she ended up moving to another state to live with her father about a month after she was pulled out of school and per FB, now 15 years later, she is not married at all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mag View Post
    20 and 18 is very young, heck 22 and 20 is very young for marriage.
    Not for people like the Duggars. Josh and his wife got married in 2008 when they were both 20 and they now have three kids.

    Getting out of the house is pretty damn hard; marriage is just about the only way out. That doesn't mean that's why Jessa is courting; a lot of girls are quite happy to be part of this world and I think it's pretty paternatlistic to tell them they aren't, really, they're just brainwashed. But if you are a female who DOES want out of this situation, getting married is the most acceptable first step out. And a lot of young couples from this kind of background ease their way out even more once they have their own households and get to experience some independence.
    Trolling dates all the way back to 397 B.C. - People began following Plato around and would make fart noises after everything he said.

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    I think Michelle was only 18 when she got married. If anything, 20 is kind of old (and Jessa isn't the oldest girl- Jana is 23 and has no independence from her parents at all) for a religious southern girl who didn't go to college. I am from a very liberal family and got married when I was 22 (after college).

    The thing I'm surprised at is that the parents are okay with a 'younger man'. I wonder how much money his windshield repair business makes; does Jim Bob insure this 18 year old can provide for his family?

    I wonder what Michelle and JB would think if Jessa and her possibly-husband decide to wait 4 years before trying to have kids like they did.
    Last edited by Skittl1321; 09-18-2013 at 09:40 PM.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    In some fundamentalist groups, almost everyone claims to be a "minister." You could be a car mechanic by day, but you still purport to have a ministry. You don't necessarily have a building, or congregation, or even a tax-exempt designation.
    Just read the article and have a bunch of questions. So what would be his job to support his new wife and all the children they are going to have? At 18? A spin-off t.v. show? This "courtship" thing pretty much sounds like arranged marriages, except they actually got to meet each other at church (of course) first. How can you learn to love someone or even just have actual feelings for them this way? It's more like a business arrangement between the parents, and the kids will just go along with it for the rest of their lives. That's marriage? I know, romantic marriage does not always/usually work out - I'm divorced - but it just seems so cold and businesslike. She has to go from raising her siblings to raising her own kids without any kind of break. Even the mother had a real life before she married and started popping out kids every nine months. I'm sure they are really nice people, but it all seems so extreme.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Susan1 View Post
    Just read the article and have a bunch of questions. So what would be his job to support his new wife and all the children they are going to have? At 18? A spin-off t.v. show? This "courtship" thing pretty much sounds like arranged marriages, except they actually got to meet each other at church (of course) first. How can you learn to love someone or even just have actual feelings for them this way? It's more like a business arrangement between the parents, and the kids will just go along with it for the rest of their lives. That's marriage? I know, romantic marriage does not always/usually work out - I'm divorced - but it just seems so cold and businesslike. She has to go from raising her siblings to raising her own kids without any kind of break. Even the mother had a real life before she married and started popping out kids every nine months. I'm sure they are really nice people, but it all seems so extreme.
    It is extreme. And the girls I knew whose parents were planning this for them felt powerless. Mind you, these were people that were LESS extreme than the Duggars because they actually sent their children to a school instead of homeschooling. At its root, it is based on a fear of seeing your children make mistakes. If the parents control everything, they think marriages will have a better chance of working. There is also a fear of premarital expressions of sexuality. A textbook at the school I taught at advocated early marriage--even for teens still in high school--on the grounds that marriage is the best way to prevent premarital sex. Rather than teaching kids your values and trusting them to live that out, you just shelter them completely. The Duggars demonstrate this very well here. Michelle talks about how she has talked with her children from day one about chaste relationships; but instead of trusting her daughter to follow the values she taught her, she's reading her text messages. And there is so much that is unhealthy due to the lack of boundaries between parents and adult children, the sometimes intense relationships between fathers and daughters that are encouraged that some who have left are terming "emotional incest", and the powerlessness of adult children to make their own choices not only in marriage but in many matters.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Susan1 View Post
    Just read the article and have a bunch of questions. So what would be his job to support his new wife and all the children they are going to have? At 18?
    The formula's easy on that one. On Sunday, you declare in church that God will provide. On Monday, you sign up for WIC.

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