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  1. #121
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    A sweet and talented young man taken away much too early. My deep condolences to his family and friends.

    RIP, Jesse.

  2. #122

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    RIP, Jesse - a kind and brave soul.

    I watched the youtube video of Jesse' s exhibition number - The Face. What a graceful and artistic skater he was!

    He is in a better place and his suffering is over.

  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by KCC View Post
    Just to close the loop -- flowers have been ordered from the Village Greenery in Fort MacLeod, from "his friends at FSU". The lady I spoke with said she expects the whole town will be there. Glad to hear the love for Jesse and his family.

    The star will actually be sent separately, so that it does not get lost in the shuffle at the service.
    Thank you for your generosity and kindness. I am sending you a big hug.

  4. #124
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    RIP Jesse

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    I have been thinking about this poem since Jesse's death. The poet was even younger than Jesse when he wrote it (and seemed to have a premonition of his own untimely end at the hands of Stalin):

    What shall I do with the body I've been given,
    So much at one with me, so much my own?

    For the calm happiness of breathing, being able
    To be alive, tell me where I should be grateful?

    I am gardener, flower too, and un-alone
    In this vast dungeon.

    My breath, my glow, you can already see
    On the windowpanes of eternity.

    A pattern is imprinted there,
    Unknown till now.

    Let this muddle die down, this sediment flow out.
    The lovely pattern cannot be crossed out.

    --Osip Mandelstam, translated by James Greene

  6. #126

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    I only recently became aware of Jesse's sickness, through the thread in the other sub-forum and I have been praying for him. What a tragic loss. Cancer is the worst; this young man should have had his whole life ahead of him. I'm astounded at the lack of proper care he received, really just blows my mind.

    RIP Jesse, I hope you're skating once more.

  7. #127

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    I feel the same way, lmarie. He was in a tiny town with a dearth of specialized training and equipment, and his cancer was rare and aggressive, but even so.... My mother died of cancer 30 years ago, and never had to go through such "torture" (Jesse's word).

    Anyway, thank God he is free now.

    Can anyone post a link to Jesse's FB page? I haven't been able to find it for some reason. Thanks.

  8. #128
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    See your PM, Spun Silver.
    Can't skate but love to watch

  9. #129

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    Cancer is torture to all who suffer from it, no matter how large or small their bank account or how much coverage their health insurance provides. Jesses's parents had their own reasons for having Jesse treated at a tiny town hospital, it is not our place to judge them. I'm sure if they could have, they would had Jesse treated at the top cancer hospital in the world but unfortunately, that was not possible.

    Our only comfort is that when Jesse did pass on, he did so knowing he was loved and that he would not be forgotten by his friends and family.

  10. #130
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    There is no doubt that cancer sucks. There is no doubt that we all are grieving the loss of a talented young man who touched us as he shared his final weeks with us.

    However, none of us were physically present during those weeks. Any discussion by us of the care he received seems rather pointless, especially since it is only based on his perceptions. I don't discount those but they may not be the whole story or a complete picture.

    Having said that, if you must talk about these things, could we please stick to facts that we know or can ascertain. Jesse was treated, to the extent possible, at a large cancer specialty facility. When it was apparent to all that further treatment was not possible, he was moved to a smaller facility closer to his family. That facility may be small but it is part of the palliative/hospice network in Alberta. Jesse stated himself that that was where he wished to be. It allowed his family to visit without travelling for several hours each way to see him and it allowed him to go home for hour/days at a time in his final weeks. It allowed him to see his precious dog.

    As a reminder, Jesse's obituary is here: http://www.caringroup.com/fh/edens/o...sp?obitid=2715
    From that page there is a link so that you can add a message to the guestbook for his family to read. Many from FSU have already done so.
    Last edited by victorskid; 11-10-2013 at 07:22 PM.
    Can't skate but love to watch

  11. #131
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    My friend who died of cancer was in a wonderful hospice, had plenty of morphine, and felt the suffocation feeling too. he was not moving so fluid built up in his lungs. It's just what happens no matter how good the care. He wanted morphine, but because of the morphine, he stopped communicating. Jesse wanted to communicate. If he refused morphine, and the hospice didn't force it on him, it was his choice. He deserved to have that last bit of control. We weren't there, it's over now.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  12. #132

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    I believe that Jesse wanted to be "present" and "aware" for as long as he could..
    Bless him!

    It's not for us to question his decision.

  13. #133

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spun Silver View Post
    I feel the same way, lmarie. He was in a tiny town with a dearth of specialized training and equipment, and his cancer was rare and aggressive, but even so.... My mother died of cancer 30 years ago, and never had to go through such "torture" (Jesse's word).
    Every cancer is different, and endstage management of it is also different. Jesse possibly could have been made more comfortable with higher doses of painkillers and other drugs, but then he would not have been able to communicate with everyone here (he essentially would have been sedated most of the time until he passed). And his caregivers may have reached the limit of what they could give him without potentially inducing death faster. We also have to remember that Jesse's cancer also originated in his brain and spread to the spine, so it involved a lot of nerve tissue that transmitted pain and other impulses and also likely affected his thinking and emotions. And we must remember he asked to be moved closer to home when his options ran out so his family could be with him in his last days.

    My father-in-law died last year at 91, he had been as healthy as a horse up to the point where he began having memory lapses and they found the brain metastases. On a Friday evening, he was talking to my husband coherently about his final wishes, his finances, etc. Then he started to become quieter and quieter and slept peacefully until he died two days later. As I noted, every endstage cancer situation is different. And a patient suffering pain and other symptoms is not necessarily a sign of "torture" when that dying patient wants to remain aware of his surroundings and those in it as long as possible before passing. As victorskid and others have said, we weren't there, we don't know what really went on. It doesn't honor Jesse's memory to continue to rail against what some of us are personally interpreting as substandard care with no proof that this happened. It's time to put that to rest and remember Jesse as he was, a beautiful young man and skater, and as he hopefully now is, at peace and smiling down on us, glad he had as much time to communicate with us as he did.
    "Once you've skated together long enough, and you're really good friends, you can close your eyes, put your hand out and she's right there." Joe Dolkiewicz, 2011 US Novice Pairs Bronze Medalist

  14. #134

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    Is it possible for people to express their sadness as they see fit without trying to correct and shut down other posters? All of us posting here were part of Jesse's FSU support system and witnessed his cries of pain and frustration. That experience was a very profound, very painful one for us all. We experienced and interpret it differently. That is natural. I know each of us also did what we could to help.

    This is not a "normal" FSU thread to bicker in. It is a place to express grief, not argue with one another. Let's live and let live. As Jesse would do, if he could! (In one of his last emails to me, after I apologized for saying something sarcastic when he stopped taking the antibiotics, he wrote back, "I don't take offense easily, lol.") The sweet, sweet guy!
    Last edited by Spun Silver; 11-10-2013 at 08:28 PM.

  15. #135

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spun Silver View Post
    Is it possible for people to express their sadness as they see fit without trying to correct and shut down other posters?
    I think the distinction is in expressing sadness for his suffering, which it's clear we all share, without making unfounded negative judgements about his quality of care or about his caregivers.
    You should never write words with numbers. Unless you're seven. Or your name is Prince. - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Word Crimes"

  16. #136
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    May the ice Up There for him always be perfect and flawless.

  17. #137
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    I believe in the best of people, so I believe that his doctors and nurses did the best they could, within the system and within what the cancer (and his possible complications) threw at them. Cancer is cruel and it does not listen to what we want it to do. If you're the one in physical distress, you always wish for it to go away, when sometimes it just isn't possible.

    My friend who died of pancreatic cancer in April, he sent a coherent email to his US friends 2 days before he was put in an artificial coma. He stayed like that for a week before finally passing. The way that cancer takes people away is always different.

  18. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by overedge View Post
    I think the distinction is in expressing sadness for his suffering, which it's clear we all share, without making unfounded negative judgements about his quality of care or about his caregivers.
    I respect your point. But, I think that many, here, are reacting to Jesse's posts. Jesse felt that he was not getting enough care. Not just meds or treatment, but the fact that he was not being turned enough, and had horrible bed sores. And his claims that some of his care takers were unkind to him. Yes, none of us were there to witness what actually happened. But, I don't think it is unreasonable to feel frustrated by Jesse's pleas for better care. That said, the quality of his care is past him now. We lost a beautiful person, who suffered terribly, and we are all very sad.

  19. #139

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    I think there is a new angel in heaven now, wearing figure skates.

  20. #140

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    Quote Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
    I respect your point. But, I think that many, here, are reacting to Jesse's posts. Jesse felt that he was not getting enough care. Not just meds or treatment, but the fact that he was not being turned enough, and had horrible bed sores. And his claims that some of his care takers were unkind to him. Yes, none of us were there to witness what actually happened. But, I don't think it is unreasonable to feel frustrated by Jesse's pleas for better care. That said, the quality of his care is past him now. We lost a beautiful person, who suffered terribly, and we are all very sad.
    Agreed, cruisin.
    "I hit him with my shoes... if he had given me the medal like I told him to, I wouldn't have had to hit him!" -- 8-year-old Rhoda Penmark in "The Bad Seed"

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