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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by taf2002 View Post
    It's great that you talked & he has a job now, but if I were you I would suggest he start paying the rent directly to the landlord from now on. You didn't take him to raise.
    Yup - we had a housemate like this a few years ago and we were SO grateful that we each had separate contracts with the landlady so that if one person didn't pay rent it didn't fall on the other two. In our case the guy was super nice and had a steady job... he just had never had to be self-sufficient before and it took him awhile to get cotton on when it came to responsibilities, self-care, and basic safety. We were not disappointed when he decided to move out and live on his own, although the other housemate who ran into him a year later pointed out that it was quite impressive that he had managed to stay alive without the two of us looking out for him all the time.

    Glad the conversation worked out, hope he holds up

  2. #22

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    I followed your thread yesterday and really glad that you have sorted it out. But really you shouldn't have to be raising it.

    Hopefully you can get into a situation that feels more comfortable in future. Sharing can be such a PITA.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  3. #23
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    Unfortunately my relief has been short-lived. After finally feeling like I could stop stressing about everything, tonight happened.

    My friend's mom's best friend -convoluted connection I know- dates roomie's dad. Roomie and his dad do not get along at all. Apparently somehow this situation or some part of it got to roomie's dad, who said something to roomie. Roomie storms into the apartment tonight and says, "If I have to hear about my business from my dad one more time, I will make your life a living hell. You better tell -friend's name- to shut her mouth." Friend swears she didn't say anything to her mom or to anyone, but obviously something still got out anyways, and I'm taking the blame for it. I'm a little freaked out and not sure what to do at this point.

  4. #24
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    OMG!! I'd start looking for somewhere else to live & see if you can find a new male tenant to take over your part of the lease....or something!! You should
    NOT have to feel even the slightest bit threatened in your own home!!

  5. #25
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    I would even think about moving out for a few days (and taking your valuables) if you have a friend you can stay with. Can you move out and leave Mr. Roomie to find someone else to share with? I agree, you should not have to be threatened in your own home.
    Who wants to watch rich people eat pizza? They must have loved that in Bangladesh. - Randy Newman on the 2014 Oscars broadcast

  6. #26
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    This cant be patched up. Now its just a question of how to get him out or get out yourself. Good luck and trust your gut - if you feel afraid, leave!

  7. #27

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    What a bastard! You are the one who is in charge. I would suggest seriously telling him to get out. He has no right to threaten you. Maybe get a family member or two to come along and support you when you do it. I think if you did he would back down pretty quickly. You are currently doing him favour as he owes you money but you might end up having to cut your losses.
    When you are up to your arse in alligators it is difficult to remember you were only meant to be draining the swamp.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aussie Willy View Post
    You are the one who is in charge.
    Why? They are renting an apartment together. She isn't renting a room to him.

    Though I completely agree with the statement he has no right to threaten her.


    I would say that you need to talk to your landlord about breaking the lease if you feel unsafe. Unfortunately, this likely will involve a fee, but if you feel unsafe, it is worth the money to get out of the situation. (Unless you think you can have a talk with the guy that 'this isn't working, and you'd like him to move out'. Somehow, I don't think he's going to go for it.)

  9. #29
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    I'm arranging to move to a new place with someone else, however that won't be happening until sometime in October, so I've got the next month to figure out. My landlords have always been very kind to me but I'm afraid of something I tell them getting back to him while I'm still living there - I feel like anything I do is going to piss him off at this point. My plan is to try to get all my stuff moved out into a storage unit -nearly ALL the furniture in the place is mine- while he's not at the house, figure out where I can crash for a couple of weeks -I've got at least a couch offer at my one friend's house- and THEN tell the landlord that I've left. I'll still send them the rent for September -only my part- and see what they say about getting my deposit back, i.e. if they want to keep some or all of it for the trouble. Does that sound reasonable?

  10. #30
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    It certainly does seem reasonable (though you might want to ask the landlord what to do about September rent. I still have issues with sending 'part'; as in most contracts the lease doesn't have a provision for separating rent among tenants, so if he doesn't pay, it really doesn't do anything that you paid some). When is your lease up? If you are moving out, and it isn't a month to month lease, you need to let the landlord know (even if it is month to month, they probably need to know) otherwise you'd be on the hook to pay for the whole rest of the lease. There is likely something written into your lease about getting out of it early; I know our tenants had to pay the rent until we could get a new tenant, and the state required we put forth actual effort to search for one (the situation never came up though.)

    I had to help move a friend and her stuff/furniture out of her apartment at 3 am while her roommate slept once in college. It was an awful situation. I hope all goes well for you. I'm sorry this is happening.

  11. #31
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    Forgot to say landlord already said me sending just my part of the rent from now on was fine, after last month. I'd already told her I wasn't comfortable with the arrangement putting all the responsibility on me. Lease is supposed to go through end of May of next year, however the end of the lease has a paragraph about "intention to vacate" and says I need to give 45 days notice, hence me paying for September and potentially them keeping my deposit for the rest. I'm not sure if that would even apply though because roomie would still be living there, and I'm pretty sure he'd just have one of his buddies move in. But my understanding is that, either way, after 45 days it is no longer my problem. Of course landlord is in Canada until either the 3rd or the 4th so I can't call her until then.

  12. #32

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    It sounds as though you should leave immediately. for your own protection/safety.
    If you need legal help to do so, call the authorities.
    You have already been threatened.

  13. #33

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    I think it is important for you to maintain a good, professional relationship with your landlord. She may be willing to give you a good (or at least, not bad) reference for your next apartment, and hopefully won't put a bad mark on your credit history for breaking the lease. Not fighting things like the security deposit might be the best long term strategy.

  14. #34
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    Moved out yesterday, had nasty confrontation with my roommate the night before and he, of course, didn't give me the money.
    After everything was out, my dad -who is 6'7", slightly humorously compared to roommate at like 5'6"- insisted on talking to him, and he lied to my dad's face and insisted that he'd paid me. Still haven't heard back from landlord -ended up emailing them to give as much notice as possible since I wouldn't have been able to reach them by phone until today from what I understood- and now the people at the new place I'm looking at want my landlord information so I'm thinking I may have to call them if I don't hear from them today. Unfortunately the utilities at the old place were also in my name and I'm responsible for the current bill due the 13th and then a prorated final bill for all utilities up until tomorrow. I'm really stressing about the finances right now, this sucks so hard!

  15. #35
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    On the bright side, you got out alive - hopefully to a place where the roomie from hell can't find you. Cheers!

    I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this. Very unfun for a young person starting out. Hopefully it will be better from here on out! Are you going to be living on your own now? That would be nice!!

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by personwhoishere View Post
    Moved out yesterday, had nasty confrontation with my roommate the night before and he, of course, didn't give me the money.
    After everything was out, my dad -who is 6'7", slightly humorously compared to roommate at like 5'6"- insisted on talking to him, and he lied to my dad's face and insisted that he'd paid me. Still haven't heard back from landlord -ended up emailing them to give as much notice as possible since I wouldn't have been able to reach them by phone until today from what I understood- and now the people at the new place I'm looking at want my landlord information so I'm thinking I may have to call them if I don't hear from them today. Unfortunately the utilities at the old place were also in my name and I'm responsible for the current bill due the 13th and then a prorated final bill for all utilities up until tomorrow. I'm really stressing about the finances right now, this sucks so hard!
    Just found this thread today and, as I read, had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about what would happen. Thank goodness you listened to your gut and got out. It certainly was not safe to remain and was a very wise move to involve your dad. Yes, it sucks to get stuck with a bill but finances have the chance of improving. You could have been on the nightly news as a victim of violence! You did well.
    As always, skating fans here have really good advice I think.

  17. #37
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    I'm very glad you got out.

    I hope your landlord keeps up her end of the bargain and doesn't give you any trouble.

  18. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by skatesindreams View Post
    It sounds as though you should leave immediately. for your own protection/safety.
    If you need legal help to do so, call the authorities.
    You have already been threatened.
    I agree with this. If you feel even slightly threatened, get out of there soon and worry about money and other things later. Legal help will be good. At least have a consultation with an attorney, but first, pick up your belongings and stay with your friends/family until you can find another place to rent.

    ETA: Just read the post that you got out. Good job. Other things can be handled once you are at a safe place. Don't worry. Everything will be OK.

  19. #39

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    Sorry that it had to happen that way. Hopefully the landlord will be nice and provide the reference you need. With regards any money owing, see if you can come up with a payment plan. Get the utilities taken out of your name immediately and get them to send you the final bills at your parents address. The guy won't be laughing when the power is cut off which is what you should organise.

    Hope it all works out for you.

  20. #40
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    Finally got some good news out of this mess! I called my landlord yesterday and she had just finished reading my email. She was very understanding, said they loved having me as a tenant but understood that sometimes situations don't work out the way you expect or want them to, I emphasized how much I loved the apartment and renting from them and was sad I had to go. She said it was "very fair" of me to still send them the rent for September, she has to talk to her husband about what they're going to do regarding who they want to rent the place now, but she did mention I still have some security and that she'll stay in touch. So it sounded like I may be getting my security back also. She also told me they would absolutely give me a good reference which is what I was most concerned about. The stress level is slowly going down.

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