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  1. #1

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    My cancer situation

    So I know I've mentioned this in another thread before but never really in its own.
    About 1.5 years ago I was diagnosed with adenoid cystic carcinoma.. a tumor in my sinus cavity/brain.. which then spread into my back/spine.
    Up until the past month I was dealing with it all very well... I am only 25 years old.. as of December I was still skating doing double axels and everything.
    As of the past month it seems to have spread like crazy.. I started to be unable to walk as well... but even last week I could still stand and take steps with a walker. Then each day after that I got significantly more paralyzed... and now basically up to my chest is paralyzed. I can't walk, can't function at all for myself really. I'm now admitted back into the hospital while I do some more radiation treatments. The doctor says I have "months" to live. I have no idea how to handle any of this anymore... I am just breaking down constantly, I hate not being self-sufficient at all... everything just happened so drastically and suddenly I don't know what to do at the moment!

  2. #2
    Shadow dancing
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    OMG, Spazactaz. All I can offer are hugs.

  3. #3

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    (((((Spazactaz)))))

    I am so sorry to hear this! Regardless of what the doctors say, I have heard of miraculous recoveries. Don't lose hope. Prayers coming your way.

  4. #4
    Mad for mangelwurzels
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    I'm so very sorry; you must be in terrible shock as it's all become much worse so quickly.

    I don't know how to help except to say that you will always find friends here who will support you.
    Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

  5. #5

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    Praying for you.

  6. #6

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    {{{Spazactaz}}} I am so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say either. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. Does the hospital have any counselors or ministers or others who can talk to you? Maybe the radiation treatment will help.

    If you are willing, if you post or PM your name and address, I know some of us would send you cards. It's not much, I know...

  7. #7
    Not summer :(
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    {{{{{{Spazactaz}}}}}} I'm so sorry. If care and good thoughts and prayers have any healing power, the folks here at FSU would have you on the mend in no time!
    Haunting the Princess of Pink since 20/07/11...

  8. #8

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    Everyone faces this eventually, be present in every moment and know that you're dearly loved no matter what! Keep posting if you find it therapeutic.

    ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

  9. #9

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    I am so sorry. That is just awful. Maybe the radiation will work miracles but we are all here for you if you need to vent or cry!
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  10. #10
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    I'm so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts/prayers.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by orientalplane View Post
    I'm so very sorry; you must be in terrible shock as it's all become much worse so quickly.

    I don't know how to help except to say that you will always find friends here who will support you.
    Adding my support and prayers.

    Do you have access to counselling to help you cope with the many aspects of a very complex situation?
    You need someone you trust for immediate support

  12. #12
    Beach Bum
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    I am so sorry to hear about this. We are here for you if you need us.
    I think I will have a snack and take a nap before I eat and go to sleep.

  13. #13

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    Don't know what to say besides offering my own {{}} & offering to read in case posting ever makes you feel better. Cannot even imagine how hard it must be to be unable to walk at all, especially since you were so active to begin with. Hang in there and don't give up hope -I know, a lot easier said than done.

  14. #14
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    ((((((Spazactaz)))))) I am so very sorry to hear of your illness. Please find comfort knowing, your FSU friends are always here when you need us.

  15. #15
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    I am so sorry. Adding my prayers for you also. Maybe there are some experimental treatments or clinical trials out there as well? ***Hug***

  16. #16

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    So sorry to hear this Spazactaz. Will be praying for you. Does the hospital have a cancer support group you can reach out to? There are so many resources available to patients that sometimes get over looked.

  17. #17
    Satisfied skating fan
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    Ask about support groups during your next radiation treatment. Many departments have them or will put you in contact with one. It helps to be able to talk with people undergoing the same things. I'm very sorry.
    Adelina Sotnikova defeated the curse of Esta She is indeed the Greatest Of All Time!

  18. #18

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    (((Spazactaz)))

    Thoughts and prayers for you.

  19. #19
    recovering Oly-holic
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    (((Spazactaz))) I'm so very sorry. I don't think any of us would know how to handle your situation, no matter how old we are, but such good advice from other posters. Please know my family and I are thinking of you even though we've never met you, and hoping for the very best for you. As someone said above, if posting and venting here helps you, we promise to look for all your posts.

  20. #20
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    Prayers Sorry I don't know what to say. I wish I could find some advice for you. I wish I could make this scary painful time and the future unknown less scary with some amazing insight. You deserve better. You deserve to grow old and live at least until your 80's. Plus I don't know why life has got to make matters worse by having hell make us lose control over our physical selves. It's crazy. It's sad. It's totally F-ed up.

    I pray you have loved ones who know how to honor your life so that you can understand what a special person you have been. I mean you have made this forum interesting and you have affected us so I can imagine what you did for people in your real life. And I pray that they know how to handle your fear, frustration and what ifs with a mighty strength so that you have some one to lean upon right now.

    Sending as much positive energy as I can your way. Praying that you find a way into best case scenario. Praying that You find a good peace. It's the hardest thing in life but I hope and send prayers.

    And remember you have strangers who care about you.

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