FarFarAway, welcome back. And I'm so sorry for the situation with your boyfriend. On the other hand, without knowing you personally, I think there's a lot to be said for emigrating. It's not easy, I've gone back and forth on the same notion for many years now and I'm afraid I'm too old. But you're twenty years younger and your English is good. I know getting into the U.S. is very difficult but there's a whole Russian community here with which to integrate.
There's also Israel, if you have any Jews at all in your family tree.