He hasn't *had* to go through anything this past year. He could have filed for divorce a day after they were married, or after the first tantrum. He didn't have to put up with anything. He could have left as much as she could have.
Except I did agree that context made a difference and there are times when it would be perfectly acceptable to post a video on social media. Wasn't that your point about context?
Instead, we are all saying that her behavior does not justify his and you keep arguing about our points, which have nothing to do with whether or not she has the right to cry foul. They have to do with whether or not he had the right to do what he did. Our judgments of his behavior are not based on what she thinks of his behavior, but rather what WE think of his behavior.
In a nutshell, we find his behavior far more wrong than you do. This does not in any way mean that we endorse her behavior.
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.
i believe that like most toxic couples, they both willingly participated in the cycle of mutual abuse. The fact that you can only see one person in that video being abused speaks volumes.Do people think repeated temper tantrums akin to the one shown on the video count as emotional/verbal abuse? If not, why?
Right This Minute, and the only thing he mentioned from what you've written above is that he didn't regret that the video went viral.
I will add, assuming that he's telling the truth about her habit of erasing things on his computer, there were ways he could have distributed the video to a semi-private audience that wouldn't have involved using a public YouTube channel. It's known as email.
It is also entirely possible to create a private video on Youtube that people only see if you directly distribute a link to them.
If you have web-based email, you can also create a draft email with an attachment and it lives in the cloud. If you don't set your computer to autofill the password (which, if someone I lived with was routinely erasing things from my computer, is a step I'd certainly take), it should be fine.
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To veer back to the cultural aspect…..I never thought about temper tantrums being cultural. The execution of this lady’s tantrum was “little girl” – she was literally in a baby position several times. I could never get away with that because even when I was a little girl I didn’t look like a little girl. If I were to have a tantrum, I’d probably throw stuff.
I have seen other women do the baby thing though. A friend – who does kind of look like a child – pulls this, though not to the extreme YouTube lady does. But the thing is, her husband likes it. He then speaks to her like she is a little girl. Yeah, he rolls his eyes a bit but frankly, I sense there was some sexual component to it. So if it is cultural, the men are in on it and likely encourage it. Like MacMadame said earlier, people are getting stuff out of a relationship, even if it is not obvious to the observer.
What would Jenny do?
"child's pose", which is essentially the fetal position. Instructors will tell students to rest in that pose if they find the current pose the class is using to be difficult. I suppose that a lot of people find it comforting?
LOL, I did think of yoga's baby pose when I saw her feet on the roof of the car. I think child's pose (which is different than baby pose) has the benefit of 1) being easy; 2) allowing some blood to flow to the head, which is physically beneficial and 3) being a protective position - so like you mention, it is comforting. It is not attention grabbing though, so I am not sure it is directly comparable to a temper tantrum.
What would Jenny do?
Absolutely. I have not seen anyone saw that she was 100% right and he was 100% wrong. They both behaved in a questionable way and perhaps he is right to get a restraining order. However, that can mean at the same time that his decision to post a video online so others can judge his wife is wrong independently of her wrong behavior.Originally Posted by Prancer;3965702Instead, we are all saying that her behavior does not justify his and you keep arguing about our points, which have nothing to do with whether or not she has the right to cry foul. They have to do with whether or not he had the right to do what he did. Our judgments of his behavior are not based on what she thinks of his behavior, but rather what WE think of his behavior. In a nutshell, we find his behavior far more wrong than you do. This does not in any way mean that we endorse [I
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