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  1. #21
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    I know this can easily be interpreted as gossip but I really don't have an issue with people asking if someone's gay or not if it really is a "just like to know" issue.

    To me it's the same thing as if someone asks is Jeff a natural blond. Does it matter? No. Is it a irrelevant and disrespectful? Not to me.

  2. #22

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    I always wonder why people have to come out as gay, it makes me wonder if I am supposed to come out as straight.

    I don't care what anyone does in their bedroom. Nor would I think anyone should be interested in what happens in mine.

    What I do find interesting is what can be answered by an Internet search, a search on this board, has a thread started instead. Just makes me wonder - what if he wasn't out and you just outed him on a public forum? YMMV
    I'm honest, just not always in a nice way

  3. #23
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    I find it so offensive when people talk about how gay people don't deserve to be open about who they are. Like they prefer when "all those gays were not seen and not heard". (Some) straight people take it for granted that they can be 100% open about who they are...anywhere...anytime. People sound shockingly ignorant at times.

    Quote Originally Posted by CanuckSk8r View Post
    ...it makes me wonder if I am supposed to come out as straight.
    As heterosexuals are not an oppressed group, there has never been any need for them to go into the closet. So there is nothing for them to come out of.
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  4. #24

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    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PeterG again.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by CanuckSk8r View Post
    I always wonder why people have to come out as gay, it makes me wonder if I am supposed to come out as straight.

    I don't care what anyone does in their bedroom. Nor would I think anyone should be interested in what happens in mine.

    What I do find interesting is what can be answered by an Internet search, a search on this board, has a thread started instead. Just makes me wonder - what if he wasn't out and you just outed him on a public forum? YMMV
    I don't mean this as an attack, so don't take it personally, but I'm always confused at comments like these. Of course straight people don't have to come out. Because society assumes they're straight (most people are). How people view your sexuality affects SO MUCH about how they interact with you and how you're treated in day to day life.

    Gay people who come out may just want to be treated like everyone else. Maybe they want people of the opposite sex to stop hitting on them, maybe it's hard for them to find a partner while being closeted. Maybe they're tired of living a lie and having people set them up on dates (anyone past 16 in this society who isn't dating is already sending up red flags everywhere and probably having their friends and family question them). Maybe they want to have the same trivial conversations everyone else does about how so and so actor is cute. It varies from the mundane to the crucial.

    And why does it always have to boil down to sex? Yes, orientation has to do with sexual preference, but do we call it sex talk when a girl talks to her girlfriend about her crush? Does it always have to automatically be so perverted that a gay person wants to be honest about their feelings? If someone was loudly talking about their sex life then that's a different matter..

    Just like we don't live in a post-racial world, we also don't live in one where sexuality has ceased to matter. If anything, it matters a whole freaking lot to some people in certain circumstances (those with partners who are dying in the hospital but don't have visitation rights, or those whose partners have already died and want to collect their ashes or belongings). It all boils down to privilege and conditioning. All too often, the people who say everyone should "keep it in the bedroom" are just mortified at having to deal with anything homosexual period, whether it's a character on a sitcom or an acquaintance from the office. Any discomfort they feel is honestly trivial compared to the barrage that actual gay people get from the hetero-normative media and society, but their privilege prevents them from seeing this.

  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ Skatefan View Post
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PeterG again.
    If it's any consolation, I just acted in your stead.

    Also: Great post, maladiegrande.

  7. #27
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    Thanks Peter for addressing that. I share your sentiment completely.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ Skatefan View Post
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PeterG again.

  9. #29

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    Thanks falling_dance!

  10. #30

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    PeterG and maladiegrand totally hit it out of the park with their responses.

  11. #31
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    I was surprised to learn that because I think Jeff Buttle is ridiculously cute and I want to know if he is also gay that I am failing to "keep it in the bedroom."

    Yeah maladiegrand and PeterG are so spot on I want to save their posts and quote them next time we have to have this discussion.

  12. #32
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    Slightly off topic, but when I went to Four Continents in 2009, some friends introduced me to a doctor whose name was also Jeffrey Buttle. Go figure!

    He was cute, too.

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by essence_of_soy View Post
    Slightly off topic, but when I went to Four Continents in 2009, some friends introduced me to a doctor whose name was also Jeffrey Buttle. Go figure!

    He was cute, too.
    Okay, if I have a son, I'll call him Jeffrey Buttle, it seems they are all cute

  14. #34

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    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to PeterG again.
    *sigh
    As of March 2013 - no longer scared of TAHbKA or Andrey aka Pushkin

  15. #35

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    Perhaps I need to expand on my statement of "I don't understand why people have to come out." I do not mean that they shouldn't come out, I mean why do so many people feel it's their business to ask. When people choose to come out, it's a beautiful thing. Speculating angers me.

    In my opinion, if who someone is sleeping with will change the way you treat them, it's not that person that has anything to address, it's you.
    I'm honest, just not always in a nice way

  16. #36
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    not being gay, I don't think I can totally understand why it is so important, because for me I think that it shouldn't be an issue in society.

    But it is an issue in society and it is important to the homosexual population to have people who are in the public eye (like Johnny or Jason Collins or Anderson Cooper) to acknowledge or come out to the heterosexual society, so I do understand the speculation/confirmation needs that are often posted here. I use homosexual in my wording because it makes me feel uncomfortable to use the word gay. To me the word gay is offensive because so many of the straight population use it as an insult when calling names. To me, it is like using the words N***** or colored people or spics or pollacks. But I also have been told that many homosexuals wear the name of gay proudly - so I am torn on what wording to use or type.

    It is also important in other rights - I have a friend who acknowledges that there are homosexual people even as she says "I accept them in love because I work with someone who is gay" but she refuses to see that they have the same need/rights to be in a loving relationship (i.e. to her gays should be celibate) and especially marriage is wrong according to the Bible. I can only do so much when discussing the subject - her mind is closed. My sister in law, her husband, one of their daughters and her husband are very anti-gay, saying that it is a state that people choose rather than inherently who they are. It is my feeling that the more people, who they might respect who come out, they may begin to see that it is not a choice but a part of who they are.

    I've stated before and will continue to say this to my straight friends and straight society: The person who is homosexual has no interest in being involved in my marriage or my straight relationships. I have no right to be involved in their relationships other than to fight for their rights to marry, to be recognized as a next of kin, etc.

    I might have not stated this in the manner that I hope I do and if I haven't please forgive me for my ignorance. I can only try to explain why I think it is important to you and me.

    I hope that all who are gay are encouraged to be who they are in society to feel proud of who God has made them.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigB08822 View Post
    I'd hit it.
    I prefer the more rugged-looking type.

  18. #38

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    delete

  19. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheIronLady View Post
    So much for your metrosexual nonsense Dorian. If you believe Jeffrey could be straight you might want to work on your gaydar.

  20. #40

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    I never thought Jeff was straight and always enjoyed his skating. It's his choice to come out or not.

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