Page 8 of 9 FirstFirst ... 6789 LastLast
Results 141 to 160 of 163
  1. #141
    Internet Beyotch
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    15,806
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    23556
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    It depends on the context. I guess I have heard so many people describe themselves as "nice guys (and why can't I get a girlfriend)" that it has ruined the word for me.
    But they aren't Nice Guys. They are "nice" guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by michiruwater View Post
    When you major in something, and work in something, frequently it's the last thing you want to talk about when you get home.
    Word. For me, anyway.

    I was reading an article today on how to have extraordinary relationships. The kinds of things they said to do all were about how you treat other people. Of course, it wasn't about romance, per se. But I think it still applies.
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

  2. #142
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    656
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    Wait...how can you mistake something else for kindness? You're going to have to explain.
    Well it was a mix of politeness/well-manner and patience and other things like cultural differences, but after knowing him for a while, I find that he can be quite apathetic towards others. Not a jerk or anything, but not exactly kinder than normal

    Talking about measuring intelligence, Youtube read my mind and suggested this BBC documentary on intelligence. Fascinating

  3. #143

    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    with the traditionless
    Posts
    5,614
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    8583
    Here’s another negative connotation of the word nice – they interviewed the neighbors of the Georgia man who held the firefighters hostage, and they said he was always a nice man. Just like all the other homicidal wackos from recent years.

    My experience with guys who describe themselves as “nice” is that they set the bar pretty low. Like I am nice because I would never hit you, and I am nice because I would never run around on you (unless a hot chick knocks on my door and wants to have sex with me). So therefore, you should have sex with me. And make me dinner.

    Yeah, usually the self-described nice guys are an annoying mix of underachievement and inflated ego.
    What would Jenny do?

  4. #144
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    11,012
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    To me, nice and kind are somewhat different. In general, I am nice to everyone- but a lot of the time, I'm putting on a front. I am really only kind to some people. Being nice is social etiquette, being kind is deep rooted.

  5. #145
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Rejecting your reality and substituting my own
    Age
    30
    Posts
    11,004
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by DAngel View Post
    Well it was a mix of politeness/well-manner and patience and other things like cultural differences, but after knowing him for a while, I find that he can be quite apathetic towards others. Not a jerk or anything, but not exactly kinder than normal
    Alf is always kind to me, but he can be not-so-kind to people when they cut him off in their cars. He doesn't practice road rage, but I told him I didn't appreciate some of the words that were coming out of his mouth...

    If you are kind to him, he can be very kind back. If someone is in trouble, he'll always offer to help. But he certainly is no Mother Teresa to people who are mean to him!

  6. #146
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,071
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    Yeah, usually the self-described nice guys are an annoying mix of underachievement and inflated ego.
    The website Heartless Bitches International has a funny commentary on that.

  7. #147
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    656
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    Alf is always kind to me, but he can be not-so-kind to people when they cut him off in their cars. He doesn't practice road rage, but I told him I didn't appreciate some of the words that were coming out of his mouth...

    If you are kind to him, he can be very kind back. If someone is in trouble, he'll always offer to help. But he certainly is no Mother Teresa to people who are mean to him!
    To me, the marker of kindness is with strangers.

    If you're kind to (some) people you know/love, then I think you're like the majority of the people.
    If you're kind to strangers, then you're really kind.
    If you're kind to people who are mean to you, then you're a

    Kind people always inspire me to be better, saints always makes me feel bad about myself

  8. #148
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    624
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Loving and cringing at the phrase "shelf life." Because now that I'm in my 40s, my shelf has a bit less life than it did, say, 20 years ago.
    It's all balderdash. The only people who have a shelf life are the people who read nonsense that tells them they have a shelf life, and take it to heart. Shelf life is for beets, not long lived mammals.

    Sometimes really smart and really dumb people get on just fine. My friend is going on 10 years of marriage with a very intelligent man. She has no idea what/where Missouri is.

  9. #149
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    At the airport.
    Posts
    129
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    That I can do .

    I've been racking my brains trying to think of a conversation I've had with my husband lately that would reveal our intellectual wavelength(s). Most of our conversations involve things like the kids, schedules, and assorted household issues, and bickering over stupid stuff that neither of us cares about; we just find bickering entertaining. We talk about work and gossip about family and friends. I can't think of much of anything we talk about that requires a whole lot of brain activity.

    As for shared values--maybe we are all defining "values" differently, but I don't think most values have much to do with the intellect. I do think sharing values is important (in the way that I described way back in this thread), but that only requires intelligence if you value intelligence.
    OK. [pause and deep breath] What I mean by "intellectual wavelength" is that you and your partner are on the same intellectual range. By intellectual, I mean brain capability, not that one actually has academic conversations. It means that you understand each other's sense of humor. It means that you carry on a general gossipy conversation. You understand each other's frame of mind and that sort of stuff. Let's put it this way: if one partner has an IQ of 100 (the average) and the other's is 140, you're just not going to have the same understanding of each other as two people who both have an IQ of 100 or both have an IQ of 140. And I'm only using the IQ example as a means of comparison in this thread, not that one should have an IQ test before marriage, lest anyone feel the need to parse this too much. But people have a way of sorting each other out by intelligence, anyway. Most couples are in the same intelligence range. You rarely find a person of average intelligence with a genius (Unless you have the otherwise bright but egotistical man who finds a not-so-bright but pretty trophy wife, but that's not what I'm talking about. They each have their own reasons. I'm talking about most normal relationships.) Here's another example: one Columbia and Harvard educated man I know was constantly trying--and failing--to form relationships with very handsome yet not so bright men. (Same sex, different sex, it doesn't matter. Relationships are relationships.) He said that he had no idea why he couldn't form an emotional connection to any of these guys. I told him: "Uh, maybe you should find someone who's as bright as you are. These guys are never going to understand you, no matter how hot they are. So if you're looking for a good time, they'll do, but if you want something more, you'll never be satisfied." Hey, even Ivy League grads need help on the relationship front. And again, it's NOT the education level that's as important as the overall intelligence level. I know I'm going on about this, but all I'm saying is that people of similar intelligence will find more of a meaningful connection than people of drastically different intelligence levels.

  10. #150
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    At the airport.
    Posts
    129
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    Alf is always kind to me, but he can be not-so-kind to people when they cut him off in their cars. He doesn't practice road rage, but I told him I didn't appreciate some of the words that were coming out of his mouth...
    You apparently don't live anywhere near Boston.

  11. #151
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    At the airport.
    Posts
    129
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Skittl1321 View Post
    To me, nice and kind are somewhat different. In general, I am nice to everyone- but a lot of the time, I'm putting on a front. I am really only kind to some people. Being nice is social etiquette, being kind is deep rooted.
    This. ^

  12. #152
    Internet Beyotch
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    15,806
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    23556
    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    OK. [pause and deep breath]It means that you understand each other's sense of humor. It means that you carry on a general gossipy conversation. You understand each other's frame of mind and that sort of stuff.
    You can do that without being close in IQ. The sense of humor issue is often not one of IQ at all. It's about what you find quirky and what tickles your funny bone. That is often about life experiences and values, btw. I would say that someone with an IQ of 100 and one of 140 could have the same sense of humor, no problem.
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

  13. #153
    drinky typo pbp, closet hugger
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    c'est genifique!
    Posts
    29,957
    vCash
    325
    Rep Power
    36573
    Quote Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
    It depends on the context. I guess I have heard so many people describe themselves as "nice guys (and why can't I get a girlfriend)" that it has ruined the word for me.
    there's a tumblr (I think?) of dating site profiles of guys who call themselves "nice guys" and then proceed to be incredibly angry and un-nice about all the hos who never gave them a chance (aka they are douchey jerks with no self awareness). I can't remember the name of it, I probably found out about it somewhere in FSU.

    ETA: the tumblr was Nice Guys of OK Cupid and it looks like it's been taken down (I remember the owner got a lot of flak for showing real profiles). Here's an article about the site. I also remember the hilarious bro-speak of "FriendZoning"

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/1...n_2341720.html

    Quote Originally Posted by michiruwater View Post
    When you major in something, and work in something, frequently it's the last thing you want to talk about when you get home.
    I can talk about dance and art for a very, very long time. At home, at work, on the bus, in the shower.... there are other reasons I wouldn't want to date a dancer, but I could not have a serious relationship with someone who wasn't willing to see and discuss art sometimes. they don't have to have gone to school for it, and they don't have to love it as much as I do, but they have to be open to it.

    what I do for work these days though? I don't even want to talk about it at work. I didn't go to school for it and it just pays the bills, though.
    Q: Why can't I read the competition threads?
    A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry

  14. #154

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,729
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    6669
    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    You can do that without being close in IQ. The sense of humor issue is often not one of IQ at all. It's about what you find quirky and what tickles your funny bone. That is often about life experiences and values, btw. I would say that someone with an IQ of 100 and one of 140 could have the same sense of humor, no problem.
    I agree with that. My husband makes a distinction between smart, clever and wise. And "wise" in the context means being able see the bigger picture, have an open mind, pay attention to the details of people's interactions; an ability to have a detached view, whether one applies it to a situation or not. I also think it has a link with a sense of humor.
    improving my ballad- like lines

  15. #155

    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Vancouver Canada
    Age
    55
    Posts
    12,706
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    11163
    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    OK. [pause and deep breath] What I mean by "intellectual wavelength" is that you and your partner are on the same intellectual range. By intellectual, I mean brain capability, not that one actually has academic conversations. It means that you understand each other's sense of humor. It means that you carry on a general gossipy conversation. You understand each other's frame of mind and that sort of stuff.
    To means 'wavelength' also refers to intellectual interests. I like being with a partner I can talk to about all sorts of stuff - books, movies, politics, world affairs, ideologies, history, social systems, religion. And academic conversations as well. We have very inspired discussions and debates - many, I must say, taken right off this board.

    I love to explore ideas and I love learning, so it is important to me to be with someone I can do that with.

    Of course other things matter too. A sense of humour is key and general personality compatibility. But I would feel quite lonely without the intellectual connection.

  16. #156
    Internet Beyotch
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    15,806
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    23556
    I think what you are talking about is being on the same wavelength. To you it may seem to be an intellectual thing and it's definitely not a physical/biological thing, but I think it's not really about IQ or smartness.
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

  17. #157

    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Vancouver Canada
    Age
    55
    Posts
    12,706
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    11163
    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    I think what you are talking about is being on the same wavelength. To you it may seem to be an intellectual thing and it's definitely not a physical/biological thing, but I think it's not really about IQ or smartness.
    What's it about, then?

    A similar level of IQ/smartness is part of being on the same wavelength. Even when it comes to a shared sensibility (i.e. artistic sensibility), I think IQ is an aspect. Mr. Japanfan and I aren't complete the same in terms of sensibilities, but we can understand each sensibilities and share them.

    In some case I've connected with people intellectually because of their curiosity, or wit, rather than their intellectual orientation or knowledge. I can see that working for a relationship in some cases. But curiosity and wit are a reflection of IQ.

  18. #158
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    At the airport.
    Posts
    129
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Everyone is misinterpreting by my use of the word "intellectual." I am referring to overall intelligence level, not Niles Crane type conversations. In other words, a person with a 140-IQ would likely be quite bored by someone with an IQ of 100. And the person with an IQ of 100 might not be able to relate to someone with a 140 IQ. (I am using these as examples, and not saying one is better than the other.) And no, you don't need to take an IQ test, lest someone get all uppity about that. Don't parse this too hard, people. All I'm saying is that people tend to sort each other out based on the ease of relating to the other person, which has a lot to do with similar intelligence levels.

  19. #159

    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    I Want to Go to There
    Posts
    9,803
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    36444
    Whoa, you responded to a thread that is almost a year old. Happy Anniversary!
    "Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility." - Ambrose Bierce

  20. #160
    Saint Smugpawski
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Cutting Down Privet Because Food Prices Are Going Up Next Year
    Posts
    11,717
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    33860
    When I saw this thread I thought maybe the Princeton Dad is divorcing the Princeton Mom over this thing, but wasn't she already divorced? I can't remember since it was so long ago.
    The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket

Page 8 of 9 FirstFirst ... 6789 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •