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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    My husband is a machinist by trade who never finished college. (We met at a party.) But he has an IQ of 147 and is mechanically and musically gifted.
    The man with the highest IQ in the world, Rick Rosner, worked as a bouncer and stripper before becoming a writer. It's really cool that there are some intelligent people in every profession.

  2. #102

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    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    The man with the highest IQ in the world, Rick Rosner, worked as a bouncer and stripper before becoming a writer. It's really cool that there are some intelligent people in every profession.
    Hmmm. Bouncer, stripper, AND smart? Seems like a good guy to have around

    O-

  3. #103
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    My husband has a PhD and two Master's degrees, and I have one Master's degree. Since it was easier for me to be employed at a high salary than him, he played the role of "Mr. Mom" when our kids were born. He also taught one class at the local university in the early mornings, which allowed him some intellectual stimulation and adult contact during the day. He is very domestic and did a great job with our girls. I had to laugh at the surprized people who praised him at the grocery store when he had the girls in tow (sometimes in a backpack carrier), because women never got that kind of praise. My point is that there is no one way to be married - we chose for me to be the breadwinner. We've been together for 36 years and our partnership, although unconventional, has worked just fine. Even though he never had much of a career, we still have rousing intellectual conversations at our house and have instilled a strong value for education in our children (one in vet school now and the other applying to grad schools). I guess we've carried on the traditions of our parents re: valuing education. My mother was from a family of 10 children, and due to her father having a near fatal accident when their children were young, her parents told all their girls to get a good education because they may someday have to support themselves (all her mother could do was housework when the accident happened). My mom went on to graduate in home economics in 1932 from Purdue (unusual for a woman to be in college then), and taught middle school after that until she married at age 38. My in-laws also had similar college degree experiences. I don't think it's as important to be intellectual equals in a marraige as it is to have shared values, which might include valuing education.

  4. #104

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    I don't think it's as important to be intellectual equals in a marriage as it is to have shared values, which might include valuing education.
    I don't think "shared values" happen without similar intellectual capability.
    That doesn't always mean that a couple's educational experiences are the same, at all.

  5. #105

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    Loving and cringing at the phrase "shelf life." Because now that I'm in my 40s, my shelf has a bit less life than it did, say, 20 years ago. (thank heavens for supportive brassieres!)
    Last edited by LilJen; 04-10-2013 at 05:14 PM.
    BARK LESS. WAG MORE.

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by skatesindreams View Post
    I don't think "shared values" happen without similar intellectual capability.
    That doesn't always mean that a couple's educational experiences are the same, at all.
    This is exactly it. It's hard to really share any experience fully if both partners aren't on the same intellectual wavelength. If there is much of a discrepancy, the couple will not be able to connect with each other. It's hard to truly develop an emotional connection if the levels of understanding are too far apart.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by quartz View Post
    Uh oh.....I have a feeling there are now going to be the potential husband vs vacuum function comparisons happening in 3. 2. 1.........
    Nah. They both suck
    I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.~W. C. Fields

  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by J-Ro View Post
    This is exactly it. It's hard to really share any experience fully if both partners aren't on the same intellectual wavelength.
    What does "intellectual wavelength" mean?
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  9. #109

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasey View Post
    Nah. They both suck
    Ahhh.....you went with the suck factor. I thought perhaps someone might also mention bags. Or nozzles. Or uprights. I'll stop now. Sorry. It has been a silly day on FSU, what with skating dinosaurs and maple snatches.

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasey View Post
    Nah. They both suck
    Ba-dum-DUM! [cymbal crash] Thank you. Thanks for coming out. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your bartender.

  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasey View Post
    If I had a shelf-life, I love being expired at this point. Expiration is where life begins!
    Best post in the thread!

    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    What does "intellectual wavelength" mean?
    It means "I love my husband and enjoy talking to him." As far as I can tell.

    So, apparently it's okay if one partner has only a HS diploma and the other a PhD as long as they are "intellectual equals" but it's not okay if the relationship is based on something other than intellect? Eh, I like my marriage. I am intellectual all day at work. The last thing I want to do when I get home is have deep and meaningful discussions. About anything. My husband has other things he brings to the table and that works for me.
    Actual bumper sticker series: Jesus is my co-pilot. Satan is my financial advisor. Budha is my therapist. L. Ron Hubbard owes me $50.

  12. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    It means "I love my husband and enjoy talking to him." As far as I can tell.
    That I can do .

    I've been racking my brains trying to think of a conversation I've had with my husband lately that would reveal our intellectual wavelength(s). Most of our conversations involve things like the kids, schedules, and assorted household issues, and bickering over stupid stuff that neither of us cares about; we just find bickering entertaining. We talk about work and gossip about family and friends. I can't think of much of anything we talk about that requires a whole lot of brain activity.

    As for shared values--maybe we are all defining "values" differently, but I don't think most values have much to do with the intellect. I do think sharing values is important (in the way that I described way back in this thread), but that only requires intelligence if you value intelligence.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  13. #113

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    That I can do .
    I've been racking my brains trying to think of a conversation I've had with my husband lately that would reveal our intellectual wavelength(s). Most of our conversations involve things like the kids, schedules, and assorted household issues, and bickering over stupid stuff that neither of us cares about; we just find bickering entertaining. We talk about work and gossip about family and friends. I can't think of much of anything we talk about that requires a whole lot of brain activity.
    Maybe you get your intellectual stimulation/rewards from your work?

    As for shared values--maybe we are all defining "values" differently, but I don't think most values have much to do with the intellect. I do think sharing values is important (in the way that I described way back in this thread), but that only requires intelligence if you value intelligence.
    A lot of intelligent people value intelligence in partners and friends.

  14. #114

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    Intelligence need not be equated with education or career choice. The smartest person in my extended family is my Mensa SIL, and she chose to be a dancer, and when it was over, a stage manager.
    As for marriage, I really believe different things work for different people, as trite as it sounds. I feel lucky that my husband is intelligent, but I am with him because of his personal qualities. There are plenty of intelligent men ( and women) I cannot imagine being with for more than 30 seconds if I can help it.
    Last edited by dinakt; 04-10-2013 at 09:31 AM. Reason: I actually did not realize I posted this one, thus never bothered to proof read.
    improving my ballad- like lines

  15. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacMadame View Post
    It means "I love my husband and enjoy talking to him." As far as I can tell.

    So, apparently it's okay if one partner has only a HS diploma and the other a PhD as long as they are "intellectual equals" but it's not okay if the relationship is based on something other than intellect? Eh, I like my marriage. I am intellectual all day at work. The last thing I want to do when I get home is have deep and meaningful discussions. About anything. My husband has other things he brings to the table and that works for me.
    If having intellectual discussions is important to you, yes.

    I don't normally have super-deep discussions with Alf. Or my friends. Or even my family. At least on a regular basis. It's kind of heavy.

    What's most important, IMO, is mutual respect. If one person is intellectual, the other shouldn't put the other person down for being so. Same if one partner is a hardcore sports fan and the other is not.

    I'm part of a comic book "geek" forum, and many guys there lament about not being able to find a comic geek girlfriend. The ones who are married or have girlfriends themselves are all like, "Um, the best you can hope for is someone who at least tolerates it."

  16. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Japanfan View Post
    Maybe you get your intellectual stimulation/rewards from your work?
    I'm sure that I do, and so does he.

    But that indicates that intellectual compatibility is not what we were looking for in a mate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Japanfan View Post
    A lot of intelligent people value intelligence in partners and friends.
    Yes. And I am sure that neither my husband nor I would have been happy with a mate we considered stupid. I would say that we are compatible in terms of intelligence, but have little in common in terms of intellect, if that makes sense. I would find it extremely irritating to live with someone who struggled to understand everyday things I consider simple. However, I would also find it very irritating to come home from work and have someone ask me what I think about Bachelard. I do know couples who thrive on having conversations like that and live best when they have almost everything in common, but I also know a lot of people who are very smart but want respite at home, and so they don't particularly want an intellectually stimulating spouse or one who shares a lot of the same interests. They want freedom from those things.

    But again, I am not sure that I understand what is meant by "intellectual wavelength."
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

  17. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by dinakt View Post
    There are plenty of intelligent men ( and women) I cannot imagine being for more than 30 seconds if I can help it.
    Yeah.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prancer View Post
    However, I would also find it very irritating to come home from work and have someone ask me what I think about Bachelard.
    At least you know who Bachelard is -- I had to Google him. I think I'd go crazy if I had to Google every other thing a partner referenced. ("Uh, let me get back to you on that.")
    "The team doesn't get automatic capacity because management is mad" -- Greg Smith, agile guy

  18. #118

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    Quote Originally Posted by kwanfan1818 View Post
    Yeah.


    At least you know who Bachelard is -- I had to Google him. I think I'd go crazy if I had to Google every other thing a partner referenced. ("Uh, let me get back to you on that.")
    I had to google him as well But did you google epistemological obstacle? FSU, my Princeton.
    Last edited by dinakt; 04-10-2013 at 09:35 AM.
    improving my ballad- like lines

  19. #119

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    Quote Originally Posted by gkelly View Post
    I still haven't found the right vacuum cleaner. : I own about four and none of them meets my needs. I guess that makes me promiscuous as well as unsatisfied on that front.
    Miele Hepa. We've been happy together for the last decade or so.
    Last edited by dinakt; 04-10-2013 at 09:33 AM.
    improving my ballad- like lines

  20. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwanfan1818 View Post
    At least you know who Bachelard is -- I had to Google him. I think I'd go crazy if I had to Google every other thing a partner referenced. ("Uh, let me get back to you on that.")
    First example that popped into my head--someone in a meeting yesterday was yattering on about some fascinating discussion she had had with her husband about Bachelard. I spent most of that time thinking "Who?" until a dim memory from a lit crit class long ago surfaced in my aging brain. Then I spent the rest of the time marveling that the subject of Bachelard would come up in a conversation and that two people would be able to discuss the subject over dinner and would consider this normal behavior.

    I doubt if my husband and I will ever have a discussion about Bachelard. I do not say that with regret.
    "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.

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