There are things my husband would not have done had it not been for me.
I don't think that a lot of people should get married in their early 20s, but it worked out well for us. We were both insecure, but that was okay--we bolstered each other up. And when we changed, we did it together.
Things work out or don't for all kinds of reasons.
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."-- Albert Einstein.
Son #2 may still get dates, but can you imagine what any poor girl would have to go through at a meet-the-mom dinner?!?
Q: Why can't I read the competition threads?
A: Competition forums on the board are available to those with a Season Pass or a premium membership How to View Kiss & Cry
What's that saying? "No ring by spring, get your money back?"
Silly woman. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Always has been, always will be at any age. You needn't settle for a dumbass.
My cousin has an annoying Facebook friend whose posts end up on my wall on occasion. For all that her PH.D husband has an IQ of 165, (Why is it that everyone who brags about IQ usually says it's 165?) they're miserable and poor, surviving instead of thriving. They apparently spend lots of time condescending to others not of their intellectual ilk instead of using their purported intellect to better their own lives.
I'd rather a plumber who could pay the bills and fix clogs. Compromising isn't always settling. There are a lot of intelligent people out there who never achieved an Ivy league education. My ex is quite intelligent and educated, but he's also something of a miserable scut who never leaves the house. Yeah, give me a plumber.
It may also be a factor that the Northeast is the least religious part of the country. There is no socio-religious standard to conform to.
(For the record, I am a college-educated woman and was 39 when I got married--for the first and hopefully only time. I am still ambivalent about the idea of marriage, although I love my husband very much and very glad we're married. In fact, I broke off one relationship at the age of 25 because my then-boyfriend thought we should get married. He was a great guy, but I didn't want that kind of pressure. I had no clue who I was and I knew I had no clue. However, my mother had brought me up to get an education and be financially independent; she said that having a relationship was extra. There was never any family pressure to get married or have children. I think a lot of women around here grew up like that.)
For some of us, there are most definitely NOT plenty of fish in the sea. I had one guy in my entire life ever take notice of me. I just got real lucky and he was the one. Not all women have countless guys lined up to pick and choose from.
I should add that in the Northeast, we are the oldest upon first marriage; we also have the lowest divorce rate. It would seem that people who marry in their 30s or later for the first time know who they are and who they want in a partner and are likely to understand what type of person really suits them. I think people at this age probably have a better understanding of how to deal with relationships also.
With this in mind, I find it interesting that the crazy Princeton mother married young and is now divorced--and I doubt it had anything to do with the fact that her ex-husband did not go to Princeton. They likely grew apart and realized they just weren't compatible, just like many people who marry young. Marrying someone from an Ivy League school does not guarantee a good relationship.
I lurve my Kenmore vacuum.
The fastest thing out of New Jersey since Tricky Nicky in a Muscovian handbasket
I think having a somewhat similar outlook on life is often important in a marriage, but it has nothing to do with degrees. And there are exceptions to everything in human relationships.
improving my ballad- like lines
improving my ballad- like lines
I don't disagree with the idea that one should aim to marry one's intellectual equal. I just don't see why it has to be done in college. If one is graduating from an Ivy League, chances are good that one would encounter other prestigious university grads in the course of one's career and social life. Getting married while in college is not for everyone, not everyone is ready for a serious, hopefully lifelong commitment.
"Nature is a damp, inconvenient sort of place where birds and animals wander about uncooked."
from Speedy Death
I don't wait for men to line up and notice me, but approach the ones I'm interested in. If they say no, big deal. Move on. There's more than enough to go around. It seems very sad that you have the attitude that you got lucky because one man finally noticed you.For some of us, there are most definitely NOT plenty of fish in the sea. I had one guy in my entire life ever take notice of me. I just got real lucky and he was the one. Not all women have countless guys lined up to pick and choose from.
But most women are not so "lucky." (Believe me, my friend would rather not have guys seeing her on the street stalk her back to her apartment!) And for a lot of men, a woman who takes charge can be very attractive! I had to reading Josh Holloway's story of meeting his wife. She's definitely not a looker of Josh's caliber (at least by most people's standards, I bet), but she saw him at a club, demanded his phone number and refused to give him hers. I wish I had her chutzpah, but that's definitely NOT me! And unfortunately, there aren't a lot of examples out there of modelesque men married to plain-looking women. But it's not impossible.
I've had friends who wondered why I was single for so long, but for me it was a combination of being a shy introverted hermit and being smarter than most men I came across. Most men, even in the US, don't like the last characteristic in particular. I've met only one man who wasn't threatened by it (and even encourages further education), and I'm marrying him in two weeks, haha.
My sister and I would be SCREWED if we were in China.