wedding website, we directed people to the Wikipedia entry for "red envelope." I'm Chinese so it actually works out! Of course my relatives are already aware, and nobody on Alf's side has given us grief about it, so I think it's okay.
I did have a friend at my bachelorette party yesterday ask me where I was registered. I assured her we didn't want any stuff! We live in a studio apartment and will probably stick to small living spaces. They're more affordable!
She also noted that this is probably how I've stayed so calm and sane. I just forego all the "traditions" I don't want to do. No fighting about the registry, no fighting about the seating chart, no stressing out about flowers....Bliss!
They will be guests at the May wedding (Paris) of the couple who helped coordinate their hotel/rehearsal dinner arrangements.
Apparently, most of their guests chose to do so.
This was new to me.
I felt more comfortable contributing toward the cost of her dress; so I did that, instead.
"Beautiful things don't ask for attention." -The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
I have heard brides gripe about the value of their gifts, as though the value should be at least equal to or exceeding the cost per guest. I think people forget that weddings are a party & a rite celebrating a marriage, not a gift grab. You wouldn't give a regular party & expect your guests to compensate you for your hospitality. It's supposed to be just what the invitation says: the pleasure of your company.
Anita, I think what you did with the wedding website is a very nice idea
Waterford is not a set of China. It is cut leaded glass. And haven't you ever heard of returning duplicates? BTW, registries don't eliminate the problem of duplicates. Some people aren't savvy enough to have the clerk take their choice off the registry.
Yeah, I know people who have gotten duplicates from a registry, so it's definitely not a guarantee that you won't get any.
Anita, I know tons of people who are already living together, so they forgo the registry too. I tend to give money, just because most of the weddings I've been to don't have a registry.
Awkward situation...my friend has been hosting lots of "ladies night" bonding type of events so all of her female friends could get to know each other before the wedding....I got to know one of her friends pretty well, and she had recently sent me a facebook message saying that she was super bummed out that she had been UNINVITED to the wedding !!
Apparently, a few distant family memebers had originally RSVPed "no" so the bride used her "no's" to invite some extra friends. Well....one of those family members changed their RSVP to a "yes", so she decided to uninvite one of the "extra" friends.
Is that something that is considered ok? Am I out of line to think my friend is being super tacky and rude?? Honestly, I would just suck it up and pay for the extra person to come, and if that wasn't possible, I would inform my distant family memeber, that unfortunately, their last minute change of plans could not be accomodated. I wouldn't dis-invite a guest a WEEK before the wedding!
Most caterers have a few extra meals ready just in case - they should have accommodated both guests. Honestly if I got uninvited to a wedding like that, it would be a relationship dealbreaker for me.
My favorite "general purpose" wedding gift is a set of crystal candlesticks.
Brides and Grooms alike seem to appreciate it; yet, it's something they don't think about.
I can tailor the choice to suit how much I'd like to spend.
Of course, you know the people you give gifts to, so I'm assuming you wouldn't give it to someone who lives a casual lifestyle and didn't register for anything similar. My sister registered for tons of China, formal silver, crystal goblets- formal dining, I didn't register for any of the traditional things like that.
I feel ackward giving people my age money, but it is a gift that you really can't go wrong with (unless of course it is a culture that doesn't do such a thing. Does that exist? To me, it is rude to ask for money, but perfectly okay to accept it.)
Sorry, if I offended you!
To each their own.
Even people who have "casual lifestyles" can enjoy a little "romance/glamour" now and then.
I also think in general it would be strange to 'second class' invite...
We had a few "second class invites", though I prefer to think of it as second round, not second class. We had to cut a number of people on our first list because we wanted to keep the guest list below 200. When flights turned out more expensive for family members they decided to not bring their kids, so we had room available. People who weren't invited originally, but knew about the wedding were extended verbal invitations. ("hey, what are you doing New Years Eve? If you want to come to the wedding, you should!") Most accepted, a few attended the ceremony but went to pre-planned parties, a few skipped the ceremony and came just to the reception. I think in all it was about 10 people. I felt really bad about not inviting them in the first place, but there is only so much money... I did lose a friend permanently who wasn't invited to the wedding, she did not understand at all (and since I didn't see her in the days proceeding the wedding, she was not one who got a last minute invite, so that isn't waht offended her.) I've since not been invited to good friend's weddings, and I understand- you can't have everyone.
One thing we thought was weird was a guest had a +1, who was also a friend of my husband's, but didn't get her own invitation. The day before the wedding, the +1 called to see if she could bring a date. We had space so we said yes, but I've never heard of a +1 taking a +1!
skatesindreams-no no, you didn't offended me. That wasn't the point, in fact, I hope I didn't offend you. Rather that to me, that would have been one of those ??? presents I was talking about. You're right though- to each their own. To me, it's unwanted clutter, to you it's romance.
In my 20s, second tier invites were common. Weddings for people getting married that young were usually paid for by parents, so everyone understood that there was a budget and that family came first. Plus, people that age often have a lot of friends from high school and college, and it was usually understood that only the closest friends rather than the wider group would be on the main list. If spots opened up, those additional friends were happy to be able to come.
One couple I know dealt with this challenge by suggesting that some of their single friends bring some of the wider group as dates, and it worked out quite nicely.
And I admit we do this today when we throw parties - we confirm that a date is going to work with our closest friends before we send out emails to a broader group of friends and then depending on who is coming, we might also then invite a few additional people as well.