The infamous "hooker on crack" program

[Louis]

Love, love, love this program. Half jokingly and half for real. I lose it every time the police sirens start. And the seizure at the end is just incredible.

Thank you for being a bull in a china shop, Laetitia Hubert!

[victoriaheidi]

Isn't this the music from the French film Indochine?

[cbd1235]

"PLOP"

lmao the closed captions on the SC video!!!

[aftershocks]

Something like this?

I don't know if there was supposed to be an overarching theme to that free dance or what it was supposed to be.

It looks like a love story gone bad being skated to the blues. Usova and Zhulin were so great together on the ice, and it's too bad that they came to prominence at the same time as Klimova and Ponomarenko. The linked clip is from 1993, when it's also likely that cracks were increasingly developing in U/Z's off-ice marriage.

[Tony Wheeler]

Isn't this the music from the French film Indochine?

I remember when the black and white Lalique video of this performance surfaced, probably around 2001. It was the first time most non-Canadian fans had ever seen the program, and it was making big waves even back then. I did a lot of searching for the music on every single Amazon short-clip I could find pertaining to the suggestions I had gotten (I remember someone had thought it was on a 'La Femme Nikita' soundtrack), but it's always resorted back to Maxim Rodriguez, even though I do remember the Thierry Berthomeu mentioning and even an article which said he composed the music.

[aftershocks]

"PLOP"

lmao the closed captions on the SC video!!!

The captions are even more hi-larious than Laetitia's effort to bring this concept/ slice of life (cut of cocaine addicted irreality) to the ice. Looking back at this, ITA with Louis' apt description (bull in a china shop). Laetitia was kind of slow and slippery over the ice, much as a bull might be too. But, with such unique creativity, chutzpah, and outside the box thinking, it's a shame that Laetitia's technical skills were not as 'out of the ballpark' as the effin' wonderful way her mind seemed to work.

After looking at the recent video interview, ITA that Laetitia has simply not aged at all (not unlike many French women). In fact, Laetitia seems to have grown into her looks.

samples from the caption transcript:

[plop]

[the music gets louder and weirder]

[♪ saw blade violin sounds ♪]

[♪ more kooky percussion beats ♪]

[police sirens (really)]

[♪ bizzare trip hop beat ♪]

[another weird moan]

[shows crotch to tv cameras] Without the caption I might not have noticed.

^^ Great captioning, but I guess they got distracted and forgot to mention the rather insistent and stabbing drumbeat toward the end before Laetitia goes into her ending spin, penultimate to her writhing dramatically backward to the ground with rhythmic withdrawal symptoms.

That closing spin was quite good with very creative positions.

I shudder myself just thinking of her possible base value, GOE and PCS marks under IJS, particularly for the crotch move -- which was surely unintentional, unlike how the captionist describes it.

ETA: Those naughty tv cameras!

Kinda interesting that Laetitia's skate appeared well before Johnny Weir burst upon the senior scene and annoyed and offended many with his offhand 'icicle on coke' description of his Dr. Zhivago costume. But then again, maybe outrage in some quarters was the reason why Laetitia didn't skate this program at Worlds.

[gkelly]

The captions are even more hi-larious than Laetitia's effort to bring this concept/ slice of life (cut of cocaine addicted irreality) to the ice. Looking back at this, ITA with Louis' apt description (bull in a china shop). Laetitia was kind of slow and slippery over the ice, much as a bull might be too.

In general, I'd say that Hubert tended to be one of the fastest skaters in the world. That was certainly the case at 1998 Worlds, which was the only time when I saw her skate live.

High speed, as well as not looking where she was going, probably contributed a lot to this infamous practice crash.

Probably she skated less fast when she was injured or struggling technically, which may have been the case in these fall 1998 videos.

I think the problem was not that she skated slowly, but that she skated faster than she could always control. She probably needed that speed to complete triple jumps, to get more height, since she didn't rotate especially fast. But she could cover the ice at great speed during footwork as well.

And she wasn't as graceful or agile or light on her feet as some other skaters, which could give the "bull in china shop" impression.

But I would never describe her skating as slow.

[aftershocks]

^^ Thanks gkelly. To my eyes, Laetitia seems incredibly slow in the SC performance, but that was likely partly due to the slow rhythm of the music and the way the program was constructed. Since you mention it, and upon more recall, I suppose she was usually more speedy. Maybe viewing her recent Caesar's Tribute skate contributed to my impression, but of course, 20 years later, it's quite normal to have lost speed and technical ability.

If in fact, Laetitia needed more speed to execute her jumps well, then the slower speed of the "Hooker on crack" performance must have been a bit problematic. Although, her early 'plop' was obviously due to touching the boards.

As far as Louis' bull in a china shop description, I'm the one who extended the analogy. I take it that Louis admirably and affectionately intends his descriptive metaphor to be a compliment, in the sense that Laetitia always took a more stubborn, out of the ordinary, creatively wacky approach to her skating rather than the traditionally expected porcelain princess, china-doll lyricism route.

[Vagabond]

If in fact, Laetitia needed more speed to execute her jumps well, then the slower speed of the "Hooker on crack" performance must have been a bit problematic.

Except that, as the female commentator on the Skate Canada video (Sandra Bezic?) says, she was "moving with a great deal of speed" into her opening combination, which she turned into a popped solo jump.

It is very difficult to judge a skater's speed from most television videos, since you usually can't see the size of the rink or any fixed points as the skater moves across the ice.

[aftershocks]

^^ Quite right, Vagabond. That tends to happen all the time. Many fans often point out that their impression of particular skaters is so different seeing them live. (Figure skating is such an illusory illusion ... amplified by watching on tv. )

Must be something to do with the stationary positions of the tv cameras, and the editing. Too often the directors of skating broadcasts annoyingly cut to jarring and limited close-ups on the face or the feet (instead of providing split screens on such occasions). That kind of cutting detracts from a whole perspective, as well as from enjoyment of performances.

I think Skate America and maybe IN were the only performances of D/W's Giselle SD where the camera showed their entire bodies when they were doing the majorly important toe work that preceded their Yankee Polka -- such a sublime program.

[TheIronLady]

Love, love, love this program. Half jokingly and half for real. I lose it every time the police sirens start. And the seizure at the end is just incredible.

Thank you for being a bull in a china shop, Laetitia Hubert!

Her countrywoman Vanessa Gusmeroli also portrayed a criminal that season, but a sunnier and more glamorous one. Police sirens seem to be a French theme.

Gusmeroli 1999 Worlds FS

[barbk]

It's been the stuff of legends and up until now there's only been a grainy version from Trophee Lalique on YouTube.

But cantahalfloop uploaded three versions of Laetitia Hubert's "hooker on crack" program from each of her Grand Prix performances (she was seeded in 1998/99).
Skate Canada: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avdiE1QJiFw (watch with the close captioning for extra enjoyment)

THANK YOU for suggesting the closed captioning. That was hysterical: "Weird moan in music", "Shows crotch to camera" -- now I'm wondering what other closed captioning goodies are out there. (Yagudin's banana exhibition?)

[Vagabond]

THANK YOU for suggesting the closed captioning. That was hysterical: "Weird moan in music", "Shows crotch to camera" -- now I'm wondering what other closed captioning goodies are out there. (Yagudin's banana exhibition?)

Some of my favorites:

Excitory Beetle 1988 Olympics Short Program
Krisztina Czakó Skating to Movie Soundtrack of The Haven't Yet
On your hearts 1991 U.S. Nationals Free Skate, with turtle actually
Massive for a few 2005 U.S. Nationals Short Program -- "god" "god"
Sources close 2008 Worlds Free Skate -- "Spanking and still ahead"

[Ziggy]

Skate Canada: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avdiE1QJiFw (watch with the close captioning for extra enjoyment)

YT Video Description:

Laetitia Hubert Skate Canada 1998 "Prostitute on Drugs" Free Skate
I do not claim any ownership or copyright to this video.
This video is intended for educational purposes about the dangers of drugs, prostitution, slutty voids, and no teknik.

I actually liked her 1998 programs, and all the jazzy stuff she's done. It's a shame, but I can't figure why she would put out a program like this, especially with so much prize money at stake.

Shame? It was creative, daring, amazing.

[CantALoop]

The captions are even more hi-larious than Laetitia's effort to bring this concept/ slice of life (cut of cocaine addicted irreality) to the ice.
I shudder myself just thinking of her possible base value, GOE and PCS marks under IJS, particularly for the crotch move -- which was surely unintentional, unlike how the captionist describes it.

ETA: Those naughty tv cameras!

LOL omg, I'm surprised people actually watched it with captions - I included those commentaries to give our hearing-impaired fans a taste of the slutty voids since they're missing out on the full experience of the bizarre but memorable music

Yeah, Laetitia probably didn't intend to give a crotch shot to the camera (or did she?, given her voids), but I think the ending is one of many things that makes this program legendary: between SC -> Lalique -> CoR, her tweaker twitching gets less graphic and more subdued

[kittysk8ts]

Mother of God. I could not put myself through the pain of watching all 3 versions. LOL!

[Jarrett]

"Indonesia wheelbarrow France" yep, that is my new name for her.

[aftershocks]

LOL omg, I'm surprised people actually watched it with captions - I included those commentaries to give our hearing-impaired fans a taste of the slutty voids since they're missing out on the full experience of the bizarre but memorable music

Yeah, Laetitia probably didn't intend to give a crotch shot to the camera (or did she?, given her voids), but I think the ending is one of many things that makes this program legendary: between SC -> Lalique -> CoR, her tweaker twitching gets less graphic and more subdued

You did a great job with the captions!

[viennese]

I had no idea there were captions!

I am sure I saw one version of this program and all I thought was: wow. interesting.
I wish she'd had a more successful skate - as in a few more landed jumps - but the whole effect was kind of intense, a work in progress.

[TheIronLady]

I don't think Hubert is deserving of all the attention she gets on here. She must have sentimental value for some posters, for I do not get her skating. She perhaps was like Fumie Suguri is for many of us today, a figure who spanned several Olympiads and provided an amusing continuity.