Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 127
  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Partying with Oda
    Posts
    4,226
    vCash
    1799
    Rep Power
    34903

    "My brother's giant genitals make me wonder if we have the same father"

    This made me laugh so much... A young man wrote to "Dear Prudence," saying that his brother's "giant genitals" made him doubt that they had the same father. Apparently, the three brothers (now adults) and their father ended up taking a shower in a public situation and had never seen one another naked. The youngest brother had noticeably different "equipment"... but the hilarious part is Prudence's answer. Here it is:

    Dear No,
    It’s the Johnson brothers, Willie, Peter, and Rod! You and your brother got quite an eyeful of baby bro’s one-eyed wonder. I wish I knew what you meant by the superior “complexion” of your brother’s endowment. I’m just supposing that his Moby-Dick gives off a rosy glow due to excess blood flow. There are several ways to approach your central question: Did your mother give your father the shaft? First of all, you seem to be of the opinion that sexual characteristics are inherited only from the parent of the same sex. But as this website points out, genital size, like eye color and height, are traits inherited from both parents. It’s perfectly possible that your mother comes from a family of three-legged men and you and your older brother got the short end of that genetic lottery. You have one ambiguous (though substantial) piece of evidence for your theory that your parents’ divorce was due to your mother’s infidelity. But maybe your mother discovered that while she was gestating your father’s third son, he was the one cheating on her. Despite the nastiness of your parents’ parting, they have kept the reason quiet all these years. Since all of you boys appear to have been happily incurious about their split these many years, it’s probably a good idea to remain that way. You want to establish that your baby brother isn’t really a member of the tribe. But pursuing your hunch will only make a cock-up of things because nothing can change the fact that your father has always embraced all of you as his three sons.

    Admin Edit: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/d...different.html

    Please don't just copy and paste from other websites.
    "I hit him with my shoes... if he had given me the medal like I told him to, I wouldn't have had to hit him!" -- 8-year-old Rhoda Penmark in "The Bad Seed"

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Dashing Between Bennetton and Krispy Kreme
    Posts
    2,454
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Clearly it's been a late night because when I first saw the thread I thought it said "My brother's giant gerbils..."

  3. #3
    snarking for AZE
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    katbert greenhouse
    Posts
    30,172
    vCash
    2068
    Rep Power
    50062
    somewhere heckles is furiously trying to think of a pun for this thread
    I feel like I'm in a dream. But it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers!

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    at FSU
    Posts
    3,926
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    4144
    Too funny! You know there's only two types of gay men: size queens and liars.

    and if you think I'm serious have another cocktail. Then I'll tell you a cock tale or two
    I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.


  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by my little pony View Post
    somewhere heckles is furiously trying to think of a pun for this thread
    Suck it up, Toots. I won't condom such silly behavior.

  6. #6
    Prick Admin
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Having a kiki
    Posts
    42,412
    vCash
    506
    Rep Power
    26080
    Oh dear. You really cocked up that punning opportunity.
    To think that fun is simple fun, while earnest things are earnest, proves all too plain that neither one thou truthfully discernest.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    We often reservoir best puns until later.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Walking to Work
    Posts
    25,844
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    32560
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    Suck it up, Toots. I won't condom such silly behavior.
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    We often reservoir best puns until later.
    It took real balls to make these statements.
    You sure don't dick around... :

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Yeah, well this is just a taste of things to come.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Partying with Oda
    Posts
    4,226
    vCash
    1799
    Rep Power
    34903
    Quote Originally Posted by Ozzisk8tr View Post
    Too funny! You know there's only two types of gay men: size queens and liars.
    Oh, I can't stand size queens. But I love all their friends...
    "I hit him with my shoes... if he had given me the medal like I told him to, I wouldn't have had to hit him!" -- 8-year-old Rhoda Penmark in "The Bad Seed"

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Top Secret FSU Witness Protection Location
    Age
    31
    Posts
    20,720
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    35102
    I don't believe this story! Since they are adults, I need photographic proof.
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Age
    28
    Posts
    11,834
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Too freakin funny

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    2,173
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    LUV this thread!

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    9,932
    vCash
    13051
    Rep Power
    46111
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    We often reservoir best puns until later.
    Is this just the tip of your nonsense?

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Yes, you'd better nip it in the bud now.

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    9,932
    vCash
    13051
    Rep Power
    46111
    No, no. Carry on. I don't want you to feel shafted.

  17. #17
    Official FSU Alte Kacher
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Looking through my D7100 viewfinder
    Posts
    12,075
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    20374
    No need to be circumcised about it, get to the hard truth.
    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity”– MLK

  18. #18
    snarking for AZE
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    katbert greenhouse
    Posts
    30,172
    vCash
    2068
    Rep Power
    50062
    Quote Originally Posted by heckles View Post
    Suck it up, Toots. I won't condom such silly behavior.

    i guess i came to this thread prematurely
    I feel like I'm in a dream. But it can't be a dream because there are no boy dancers!

  19. #19

    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Top Secret FSU Witness Protection Location
    Age
    31
    Posts
    20,720
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    35102

    "My brother's giant genitals make me wonder if we have the same father"

    Come on guys, suck it up.
    -Brian
    "Michelle would never be caught with sausage grease staining her Vera Wang." - rfisher

  20. #20
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,090
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by BigB08822 View Post
    Come on guys, suck it up.
    You don't want to go head-to-head with me.

Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •