What? No children? Fending off the final female taboo

[mag]

I will never understand why people care so much about why others choose to not have kids, even going as far as singing the praises of kids/parenthood to completely uninterested people. Just like I will never understand people who are childless by choice caring enough to prove the awesomeness of their decision by completely belittling parents and trashing all kids. Who has time for such ridiculous behavior? Aren't there more interesting things to insult each other about?

This.
Although I suppose one could argue that both sides are just being refreshingly honest ....
IMHO, Rudeness disguised as honesty is still rudeness no matter what reality TV tries to get us to believe.

[susan6]

People who like Beef on Weck are stoopid.

Are you from Buffalo?

Back to the thread....where might one find a guy who doesn't want kids? I have no maternal instinct at all, and that's a deal-breaker for a lot of guys. Granted, give it enough time and my only options will be divorcees in their 50s or 60s who have kids with their first wife, so they won't care if I don't want kids. Oh well.

[michiruwater]

I dunno. I tried putting on my online dating profile in clear language that there is a high probability that I will never, ever want children, and that if that is a priority they should move on, but it seems like half the men who contact me don't read the profile and the other half believe I'm just kidding when I point out that their profile says they want kids and I don't.

[Aussie Willy]

I dunno. I tried putting on my online dating profile in clear language that there is a high probability that I will never, ever want children, and that if that is a priority they should move on, but it seems like half the men who contact me don't read the profile and the other half believe I'm just kidding when I point out that their profile says they want kids and I don't.

Men never read profiles properly.

[MacMadame]

I think they only look at the pictures. Michiruwater must be pretty.

[Japanfan]

I've explained about the females above. I own a foreign company (in Beijing) so the government doesn't pay anything. If someone had a long illness, longer than a week, they would know I would need to replace them. It hasn't happened yet, but everyone signed the contract. If the sick person was me, I would also be on unpaid leave, and would do my best to find a temporary replacement already in Beijing (my visa can't be cancelled since I am the owner, so I wouldn't be able to sponsor another visa), but if I couldn't I would have to cut costs significantly, make some big changes, or fold the business, to be able to cope. It's just the way it is, and everyone knows it. Even me taking one day off loses money (because I have to cancel clients). Small companies have it tough, so it can be tough for the employees as well. The benefits outweigh the disadvantages though, because I've had the same team since I began. But, for me, I would still never choose to work for a big company. My situation seems unique, yet many who set up small businesses here have exactly the same issues, and we deal with them the best we can.

I understand where you're coming from as a self-employed person, Angelskates. My business situation is different from yours in that it is part-time/contract work, so it might work out for someone with a baby who wanted to work from home. Two of my assistants were stay-home moms.

But there is really no such thing as 'sick time' in my business as it is work done on deadlines. A dead-line can't be broken once its committed too barring death or accidental dismemberment and I expect my assistant to come through even if she gets a migraine, which she does on occasion, or a sudden flu. And she does. If I get sick, I still have to work. Fortunately I don't get sick, pretty much ever.

[skateboy]

I've never wanted children, for the following reason (and yes, I'm a gay male):

To me, parenting is about the most important job one can have. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't be good at it. (Plus, I've never had any real desire to be a parent, so it all works out.)

[Bunny Hop]

-They're different when they're you're own!
-You'll change your mind later, you'll see!

Both these drive me nuts. For the first, I've never claimed otherwise. I'm sure it's true. As my mother (who also isn't that maternal) says "Mother nature takes care of these things", but that's not a reason to have a child. As for changing my mind - I'm 42, it ain't happening. Oh, and I don't like sushi either.

Or when they try to rope you into spending quality time with THEIR kids. Because their kids are uniquely special and have The Power To Make You Change Your Mind And Swell Your Grinch Heart.

This sort of relates to something I have trouble explaining to people who adore babies and children, namely that I don't have any emotional reaction to children. I don't have a negative reaction, but I also so don't have the "Awwwww" reflex many women get for babies. They're just babies, or small children. It's taken me years to train myself to say "Oh, isn't he/she lovely" in a sincere manner upon being shown a friend's baby.

Whenever I'm asked how we've been married so long (coming up on 28 years) and together for so long (10 years longer), we're always quick to mention that amongst other factors, we are childless, because we know it made things much easier for us financially, work-wise and otherwise. According to some, we are "selfish," but we have no regrets. Best decision we ever made for us.

Ugh. I will never understand how not having children is considered 'selfish'. I have had a couple of people ask me why I bothered getting married if I didn't want children. I find that attitude appalling, as if the only reason to get married is to spawn. What about commitment to your partner? If the only reason to marry someone is for their breeding use, then to me that doesn't say very much about the strength of the relationship. I'm not talking about wanting to be married before having children, that's different, just the idea that the only purpose of marriage is children.

[Aussie Willy]

I have had a couple of people ask me why I bothered getting married if I didn't want children. I find that attitude appalling, as if the only reason to get married is to spawn. What about commitment to your partner? If the only reason to marry someone is for their breeding use, then to me that doesn't say very much about the strength of the relationship. I'm not talking about wanting to be married before having children, that's different, just the idea that the only purpose of marriage is children.

These are probably the same people who object to gay marriage because they think that the only reason for marriage is to procreate.

[antmanb]

For the record I had sushi once and it made me vomit. So there. Good sushi, bad sushi, sashimi, I don't care. I puked. I'm not eating it. End of story.

You just haven't met the right fish yet

[Skittl1321]

These are probably the same people who object to gay marriage because they think that the only reason for marriage is to procreate.

There should probably be a clause that says couples have to seperate after 3 years of marriage if they haven't produced a child.

[Southpaw]

All you people who keep poking at me with the sushi jabs....you're hoping I'm gonna pull out my left hook, arentcha?

:paintsnails:

[essence_of_soy]

Men never read profiles properly.

Ouch.

[Anita18]

Men never read profiles properly.

Ouch.

But it's true! 80% of the responses I got (and I met Alf online) said "I love dancing and going to bars!" and I specifically said I didn't do bars or clubs and I don't drink!

[Yazmeen]

The "you are missing out" philosophy almost cost me a friendship. One of my dearest friends in high school has a son (now grown), and every time we had a conversation, it was all about how wonderful it is being a mom, you just won't know until you have a child, I can't believe you don't want one, ad nauseum. The family holiday letter was a treacle-filled read of everything her darling did, way up until he was in high school, and she is a writer; let's just say these weren't shining examples of her ability. Thankfully we don't live anywhere near each other. Every call or email was always about how much I was "missing out" on. I basically avoided her for her for the most part. We are know Facebook friends and keep more in touch; however, I don't think she ever realized why I wasn't exactly going out of my way to keep in touch previously (you can't exactly say, "will you please shut up about your kid and stop telling me what I'm missing??? I don't exactly hold my vacations over your head and claim how much you are missing out on because your time and finances all went to having a child" as much as I may have been sorely tempted).

[UGG]

Some people are like that with their pets, too. My one friend one time (before having children) talked to me about her dog for almost 2 hours. I actually left her at the restaurant saying that I had an emergency. I was seriously going to stab myself.

Also before I had my son I would be SO BORED when my friends would talk about their kids or kid related topics. Like...seriously bored beyond belief.

Now that I am a mom, I could talk about my son all day if someone let me. I try NOT to talk about him with my friends who do not have children because I think back about my boredom during car seat discussions or formula, or how I thought it was weird that people talked about their kids poop...etc...but it is hard because my life revolves around him.

And every mother thinks their kid is special and the most amazing child ever and I have to crack up at the people who find this ridiculous. OMG it is their kid...what are they supposed to think? LOL

[PrincessLeppard]

But my cats are interesting! You would understand if you would just spend some time with them!

[UGG]

LOL! One year for work I made my co workers a calendar of my dog. I wonder what they were thinking.

[ioana]

But my cats are interesting! You would understand if you would just spend some time with them!

Nonsense! UGG needs to spend time with *my* cat and she'll be a convert in no time .

[UGG]

ha! The funny thing is I really don't like cats! That would be funny if someone actually told me to spend time with a cat to see if I would change my mind.