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  1. #81
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    One of my favorite websites for jokes for little skateycat's lunch - http://www.enchantedlearning.com/jokes/index.shtml
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  2. #82

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    skateycat, my boy used to have this small little book called 'Jar of Jokes' (shaped like a jar) where he loved, memorised all the jokes, and 'harassed' all my friends and relatives by asking them the riddles when he was very young. Your kid may love it too.
    Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. – Publilius Syrus

  3. #83
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by spikydurian View Post
    skateycat, my boy used to have this small little book called 'Jar of Jokes' (shaped like a jar) where he loved, memorised all the jokes, and 'harassed' all my friends and relatives by asking them the riddles when he was very young. Your kid may love it too.
    Thanks! I ordered a copy.

    What kind of socks does a pirate wear?

    Arrrrrrrgyle!

    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  4. #84
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    How do you pay for a frog at a pet-store? "Debit-Debit"

  5. #85
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    What is put on a table and cut, but never eaten?

    A pack of cards!

    From http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/games/ridd...o_hard_rd1.htm
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  6. #86
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    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.

    Then it dawned on me...
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  7. #87
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    What do you call a pig that has lost it's voice? Disgruntled!

  8. #88
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    Why are pirates called pirates?

    I don't know, they just arrrrrr.
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  9. #89
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    a few silly jokes from a most ridiculous kid's joke book, "Elephants, Grapes & Pickles":

    What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and blue? A penguin falling downstairs.

    What is black and white and has fuzz inside? A police car

    What is round and red and hairy, goes "poppity pock pock," weighs 9,000 pounds and has huge claws? Nothing ... but if you see it, start running.


    I have got to read this to my 4-year-old nephew to see if he finds it funny. Also funny for adults - here's the last page:

    "What is Tarzan doing now that he's left the jungle? He's constantly pestering the publishers of this book and 'The Elephant Book' and 'Mad Libs' and 'The World's Worst Jokes' and 'The Very Important Person Notebook' and 'You Were Born On A Rotten Day' for more royalties so he can move to a better tree in Pasadena or Newark and pay Jane's alimony and maybe help Boy get into high school, even though Boy is 51 years old and is living in Scranton with Cheetah. Scranton??? Poor old Tarz."


  10. #90

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    My daughter made up some silly jokes a few years back. They're a bit on the absurd side.

    What do you call a dog named Bob? Bob.

    What has 100 teeth and says "Beware of Dog"? A picket fence with a sign on it.

    What do you get when you cross a forest ranger with a flamenco dancer? A cop that stamps out fires.

    What's tall and breaks things? A giraffe playing baseball.
    BARK LESS. WAG MORE.

  11. #91
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    Why do dinosaurs eat red meat?

    Because they don't know how to cook!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  12. #92
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    What do you call a camel with no hump?

    Humphrey.
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  13. #93
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    What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

    Nobody knows!

  14. #94

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    Quote Originally Posted by vesperholly View Post
    What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

    Nobody knows!
    No, that's what I'd call a nose without the rest of the body.

  15. #95
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    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
    It's official. I am madly in love with Meryl Davis.

  16. #96
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    Q: How do you keep a dinosaur from charging?

    A: Take away his credit card!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  17. #97
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    Q: What robs you while you are in the bath?


    A: A robber duckie!
    Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. -- @ciggybuttz on Twitter

  18. #98
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    Q: Why can't you tell a joke to a kleptomaniac?

    A: Because they take everything so literally.

  19. #99
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    Q. What's big, green, and mopey?

    A. The Incredible Sulk!

  20. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilJen View Post
    My daughter made up some silly jokes a few years back. They're a bit on the absurd side.

    What do you call a dog named Bob? Bob.


    I like that. It's very zen.
    Have a nice day!

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